Not sure I can even word this right. I wrote out a loooong post, but deleted it due to length.
DH and I have never had any extra money until he retired from the military this year & got a civilian job.
Now, our parents (both sides) have started asking for money & because we had it we gave or loaned it. We don’t discuss how much DH makes, but they know we are doing better.
We’ve paid DHs parent’s rent one month, their medical bills, my mom’s car payment, and now…my mom needs money because she has doubled paid on her mortgage…the bank won’t refund the overpayment…& she has gone negative in her bank account.
The hesitation is that it would be all we have.
Meaning…we have it to give, but then we have nothing.
She would probably use a part of it to have a wonderful Thanksgiving feast for family & friends, but that would be money we used to shop for Thanksgiving, celebrate a upcoming birthday, buy gifts for Christmas, and we have a baby coming in six weeks who we haven’t bought a thing for yet (procrastination, worried about another miscarriage).
So, we have the money, but we would end up with nothing. DH would get paid three times (biweekly) between now & the baby. So, we could do the running around later.
I’d like to give it to her, but almost feel like I have to mention it will put us at zero.
The Bible mentions taking care of widows (which she is) and of course the 4th Commandment.
Not sure what I’m asking because we have to give her something. There is no one else who can. I just know that it will make us struggle. However, it would be better to struggle than to see her not have groceries or all the problems that come with being negative in a bank account.
Any thoughts on taking care of parents financially? Especially when you aren’t flowing in money…they just think so. When they are honestly living above their means (she just bought a new car last month).
Tell me we can sacrifice – we should sacrifice because…she’s my mom. Tell me it’s a good thing to care for parents even if it makes your family struggle a bit. (It’s not gonna bankrupt us or put us negative…just make the holidays & upcoming birth a little harder.)
Thanks for your thoughts!