Well, I finally spoke to my husband on new year’s eve…actually I called because I have a feeling that he has purchased another house and has been fixing it up, that’s why he refused to go back to California with me. I asked him about it…he, of course, denied that it was his house, he said it belonged to the brother of a friend of his and was just helping him fix it up…I then asked why he was spending money on it…he claimed that he owed him money and that was how he was repaying him…lies I’m sure. I don’t think the house is actually in his name, he can’t do it without my consent, but I wouldn’t doubt that someone got it for him. Anyway, it doesn’t really matter anymore.
He was furious because he couldn’t get in the house…he said he looked bad having a house and not being able to stay in it. I asked him how could I be sure that he wouldn’t bring his girlfriends over, and he said just cause he wouldn’t and how could I think that he would…of course I laughed and reminded him him how he’d done it already. He said not to worry that I wouldn’t have to deal with him anymore that he would move his things out when I got back. He then continued to say that if it made me feel better to blame him for everything then to go ahead, and I said I didn’t blame him for everything I told him I knew that I made my share of mistakes but I was willing to ammend those mistakes and do things differently, which I did. I then told him that the only person blaming here was him, that he blamed me for everything that went wrong which is why he made the decision to turn outside the marriage and get what he wanted, had he put some blame on himself he would have stuck around with patience, understanding and love to try and make things work but he didn’t. Therefore, it’s obvious that it was all my fault, I was what was wrong with his relationship and I was also dispensable and replacable. So I told him to do what made him happy after all that’s all that matters, that he is happy no matter at who’s expense. I went on to tell him how selfish I think he is and how he doesn’t know what real love is, that I know that he doesn’t know the meaning of sacrifice because the only thing that matters is what is good for him. I am now back and waiting to talk to him so that he can come and get his things. I guess I knew all along that locking him out would push things to the limit, and I really didn’t see any change in him, any desire to be a family man so what else is there to do?