I met my husband via AveMariaSingles.
What was courtship like?
My husband contacted me a day after I had what I thought was a great in-person date with another member. There was a lot that interested me about his profile, so I asked my (future) husband if he would be offended if I first saw how things developed with this other guy, then followed up with him. He said he wouldn’t be offended. Things fizzled with the other guy, so I contacted my husband & it was off to the races!
We e-mailed for a few weeks, added in phone calls for a few weeks, and then he came up to meet me. A few weeks later I drove down to visit him & meet his family. (That’s when I pretty much knew…:love: ) 5 months later we got engaged; 8 months after that we were man & wife. It’s been 3 & a half amazing years. We owe Our Lady sooooo much.
Did one person move to be near the other person before the marriage?
Yes. I moved to his state 5 months before we were married.
How did that work out?
Fine, I guess, if you take into account that a new job and a re-location are among the top 10 all-time stressful events! Throw in planning a wedding out of state, and heck, if you survive that, nothing’ll stress you out again!
If not, how did you get to know him/her well enough to decide to marry?
I didn’t relocate til after we were engaged. Between meeting and engagement, we swapped traveling: he’d come up to see me & stay with my folks, and about 2-3 weekends later, I’d go see him & stay with his grandpop. We just talked & talked & talked. Always probing, sharing, praying countless rosaries together, going to daily Mass as often as possible; in short, making productive use of our time together to discern that we were, in fact, called to join in marraige.
Did you get to know one person at a time or did you make friends with a lot of people and then chose to court (or be courted by) one of those friends?
I could usually only handle 4-6 e-mail correspondences at a time, just out of courtesy to them re: time factor, responses, and staying a part of my real life. I was always 100% honest & up front about the fact that I was corresponding with other men. I got pretty good at being charitable, but to the point if I didn’t see anything developing. The guys usually appreciated that.
I had many phone call ‘relationships’ with some really great guys. In-person dates with 4, I think.
Any special things to watch out for?
Just be yourself. Try not to over-edit every e-mail. (That was one of my difficulties that I struggled with for the first few months.) I had a list of 50 questions or so that I would throw in from time to time when conversations seemed to be stalling out. Everything from “Who’s your favorite Muppet?” to “How do you feel about gun control?” Just to keep the getting-to-know you process fresh and productive–not everything has to be about religion, ya know!
If you go to AMS’s Success Stories, you’ll find a week’s worth of reading & inpiration! Here’s a link to Long-distance Success Stories.
PM me if you want the link to our success story.