Long Distance Relationship?


Hello, everyone. I am going to tell you a story, and tell me how ridiculous you think it sounds! Lol. So let’s say a guy had been discerning priesthood for four years, and then went to a retreat which would determine whether or not one was accepted with an order. A few days later, he receives notification from the seminary/order that they did not think his application indicates he should go to seminary (at least not yet). Then let’s say he went to a friend’s wedding a couple weekends later, and met a really nice girl from California there at the wedding, and that he felt like something really clicked. He left the next day after the wedding, but asked for her number or e-mail address, and she gave it to him, and they began exchanging e-mails.

OK, so yes, the guy is me. I think it sounds really crazy that it’s possible God may be calling me to date this woman for two reasons: 1) I have been very serious about discerning priesthood and have thought for a while that I wouldn’t be happy until I gave seminary a try, and 2) even if both she and I agreed to date despite that, we live basically 24 hours apart, since I live in Missouri.

I know I should talk with a priest/spiritual advisor/etc. about this, but I just wanted to see how many people think it sounds really crazy, too. I guess if you have any other thoughts that would be fine, too.

In any case, I haven’t done this with any woman since before I started discerning priesthood. And, I know that I’m going to have to do the whole “define the relationship” thing, for the sake of both of us, very soon, if we keep on e-mailing each other.

The absolute craziest thing about this is that I have a friend who lives in Phoenix, AZ, who is trying to get me to come work there (he has a job opening at his parish), and if I did, I would “only” be 5-6 hours away from this woman, which would certainly make things a little easier (cheaper at least…haha) in terms of a long-distance relationship.


Doesn’t sound crazy at all, maybe this is your path. Just take it slow!


Go for it.
At the very least, you will have experience and if you are truly called, you will be able to tell your vocations director that you gave it a shot, and it’s not for you.

She may be a great gift to you.
We never really know what God has planned for us…not at first, anyway. :smiley:


Go with the flow. See what happens.


All moot unless she agrees to be your girlfriend. Do you even know if she is open to the possibility to a long distance relationship?


Thank you all for your responses thus far!

True. No, I don’t know, because I have not asked her yet. I’m a full week removed from the situation now and wanted to see how things developed initially. In any case, I have certainly gotten the impression that she enjoys the correspondence. I don’t know, is this weird? That two people randomly meet and then keep e-mailing each other for a week? Do women do this thing just to keep contact with guys they just met a week ago?? As I mentioned in my original post, I realize that either way, I need to bring up the possibility of a relationship soon, not only for my peace and to state my intentions, but especially for her peace and to know if she has any other intentions other than to correspond “randomly” with this guy in Missouri…haha.

I know taking this to prayer and guidance will be essential. The decision will also revolve around whether or not I should pursue this job opportunity in Arizona, which I’m sure I will know more about in the next few days. I still have a reason to move to Arizona if a relationship does not develop further, but I would never even have considered looking into the job opportunity if it weren’t for that possibility. We shall see. Please pray for me. :signofcross::gopray:


Well, women certainly do. If she likes you.

I corresponded via email, chat room, and phone calls (those were some whopper phone bills) with my now husband from Ireland for 2 years before we actually met in person.
Computer cams are great. We had great fun chatting every evening.
I got to know him very well. Hard to be false when you talk s regularly.

Anyway…we met. The rest is history.

I hope you give it a shot. Even if what you get out of it is a good friend. It’s worth it.
She sounds nice.


closed #8

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