Long time friendship, loyalties, supporting a troubled teen dad


Some of you have read about the saga with my bestfriend’s daughter Ashely’s former boyfriend Steven who fathered a child with her. If not here’s the old thread.

Steven has been working hard to straighten out his life, he’s been attending NA meetings and counseling, and has been clean for three weeks so far -which I know is not long but it’s a step in the right direction. Steven and Ashley went to court and he gets the baby every other weekend surpervised by his aunt and one evening a week at Ashley’s house with her parents while Ashley is working. Ashley’s mom has been my bestfriend for over 20 years, we couldn’t be closer if we were sisters, and I love Ashley very much.

Ashley has a new boy friend who has taken a very big interest in Ashley and Steven’s daughter. Steven is worried about the baby confusing the new guy for daddy. Steven actually has no idea how much this new guy plays the part of dad when he’s around the baby. New guy actually has a pic of the baby as the wall paper on his computer, and on his cell phone. New guy is 23, Ashley and Steven are both 18.

The baby just had her first birthday. Apparently Ashley told Steven the new boyfriend wouldn’t be there but he actually was and Steven found out (Ashley’s little brother spilled the beans.).He is so mad that this guy spent the day with his daughter on her first birthday, when he could not. I was actually there and watched the new boyfriend carry the baby around all night, feed the baby, take a zillion pics as the baby ate her first bday cake. Inside I felt very bad for Steven. I also thought it was weird how much attention this guy gives to the baby. I wasn’t the only one who noticed and one of our other friends who was there said to Ashley’s mom Does (new boyfriend) pay as much attention to Ashley as he does to the baby?

Anyway I have been trying to be as supportive to Steven as I can, we talk about once a week and he’s been to my home visiting the baby while I babysit. He’s trying so hard to change and he loves his baby soo much. He cries about not being able to see her.

For the first time ever I feel torn between the loyalties to my bestfriend and her daughter and trying to help this teenager turn his life around. My bestfriend has not expressed any concern or anything and knows I support Steven so why do I feel guilty? This kid has really worked his way into my heart and I feel like he needs someone in his corner. His mom is a mentally ill abuser and his father is pretty much non existant.

Sorry this post is so long.:blush:


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