Lonliness


#1

Have you even been lonely? probably yes, well I've been having trouble finding a relationship. people m age have already have a boyfriend but i don't. I've never had a boyfriend or been kissed by a boy. i need help wat should i do


#2

Everybody gets lonely :o

But it is comforting to know you are surrounded by the angels and saints, and God is there. I sometimes picture God giving me a big fat hug, and it really works! You are never alone when you have God in your life. Though I know, this is something that takes getting used to.

Don’t worry about a thing. Learn to trust in the Lord, trust he will provide. Place your worries at the foot of the cross, and submit to his will :wink:

Don’t worry about boys. How old are you, if you don’t mind me asking?


#3

Don't worry God loves you more than any human ever could, if you really feel separated from other people you can always talk to a priest or go on a retreat, fellowship is an excellent way to witness God in other people and a good way to make strong friendships


#4

[quote="WolfWhisperer, post:1, topic:196274"]
Have you even been lonely? probably yes, well I've been having trouble finding a relationship. people m age have already have a boyfriend but i don't. I've never had a boyfriend or been kissed by a boy. i need help wat should i do

[/quote]

How old are you? My guess is that you are pretty young. Don't worry too much about not having a boyfriend/relationship. It is about quality, not quantity of relationships. You may have some friends that go from relationship to relationship and nothing really amounts to anything lasting where as others might have 1-2 relationships in their lifetime which leads to marriage. I'd take the fewer relationships any day over numerous ones that don't lead anywhere.

While I can't relate to the lonliness aspect of things...I can with the other parts of your post...

Don't worry about not being kissed. Heck, I had my first kiss at age 24. From what everyone tells me, I'm a good looking guy, I'm in excellent physical shape/athletic. Always got a lot of attention from girls my entire life. You would never think that I went that long without kissing anyone. You aren't the only one out there. And you know what...it really isn't a big deal.

Why do you think you haven't had a relationship? Do you get opportunities to meet guys? etc?


#5

The last thing you need is to get in a relationship just because you think you should. I’m in my teens and I’ve never had a boyfriend or been kissed by a boy. A lot of my friends are in relationships just to look cool, with guys they never speak to. Bear in mind that a close friendship can be better than a distant relationship. Focus on your relationships with your friends, family and God. Remember, just because everyone else is doing something doesn’t mean you should!


#6

WolfWhisperer, I have been told that it's only possible to be in a good relationship once you're alright with being single. Having a boyfriend for the sake of having a boyfriend, is not the best idea... try to not compare yourself with others. I have friends who are now happily married and their spouse was their first boyfriend or girlfriend! It really doens't matter how many you have, as long as you eventually find the right one. And Im sure you still have lots of time to do that. There are also people who are saving their first kiss for their wedding.. so not having been kissed is nothing shameful and nothing to worry about. I've never had a 'serious' kiss either, and I'm glad, that if I get married, my future husband would be the first one :) In our society, there's SUCH an emphasis on having a boyfriend or girlfriend, and sometimes people speak as if being single is something bad. But when we are single, that is a GIFT, that is a time we are given by God to grow as individuals, to become better people (so we can eventually be better husbands and wives, if that's our calling), and so that we can discover God and grow in our relationship with* Him*. Try to look at it more as a gift and less as a punishment. There's a time for everything, right? :)

God bless


#7

To answer your question, yes, I’ve been lonely. Very lonely. A terrible experience, especially in adolescence. I’ll leave out some gruesome examples, but yeah, I know a thing or two about loneliness.

So if you don’t mind, I have a question for you. Are you lonely for friends, or specifically for a boyfriend?

If you want to make new friends, you’re in an excellent position–you have faith, and that means having a faith community.

The best way to conquer loneliness is to turn outward, not inward. Get involved at church. Look to help others, not so much for others to help you.

And like magic…you’ll draw others to you. Including a boyfriend, I’m sure.

Try it!

–Scott


#8

The road you are on is dangerous. To want a companion, boyfriend, is like a child playing with a toy just because it is forbidden..... guns for instance and children it is best for them to be hidden until the child has insight to the danger. Companionship is just the same. Sorry I'll say it.
We have all fealt lonely or even alone. But, at times like this so few think of asking God for comfort.


#9

I have BEEN THERE! (Don't know how old you are, but I have been there)

We do need to turn to God, learn to help others, and learn to accept our current situation. And it's hard. I've learned to say, "It's just you and me, God." And if I'm okay with what I'm saying, so much the better! But sometimes I say it with tears in my eyes, and I know it's not my will and He knows it's not my will, but you accept it.

For loneliness - get out there and enjoy time with your girlfriends! When I used to get too upset about being alone, a good slumber party, girls night out, or whatever would pick me up! You have so much fun you wonder who would want to include guys on this?

Remember that God has your best intentions and happiness at heart - so even if you think you're unhappy now, you don't know the kind of situations He is protecting you from. When I met my boyfriend, I realized that he was something different than even all the good Christian guys I had met. And I realized that I probably would have been dumped a lot or just been bored by any of the guys I had wanted to ask me out before...


#10

If you're still in high school, or even college, you shouldn't even worry about trying to get into a "relationship". Primary responsibility of young people is to pray and obey. Only Christ and the Blessed Virgin can make you happy - to think that the mere human friendship with a boy can do that is the deception of a foolish world. You shouldn't worry about relationships based purely on physical attraction or even just natural human attraction - praying for a good Catholic husband is better.

Good book to read:
scribd.com/doc/23750067/Chastity-A-Guide-for-Teens-and-Young-Adults

(I don't know how old you are, but I'm turning 16 this year, and have never kissed a girl, or even held a girl's hand, with the exception of my grandmother and my cousin ;) )


#11

[quote="WolfWhisperer, post:1, topic:196274"]
Have you even been lonely? probably yes, well I've been having trouble finding a relationship. people m age have already have a boyfriend but i don't. I've never had a boyfriend or been kissed by a boy. i need help wat should i do

[/quote]

You don't need a boyfriend. You need a husband in the long run, but you don't need a boyfriend. Having a boyfriend is only as good as a necessary prelude to being married (not technically necessary, actually, people have jumped from friendship to engagement).

You don't need to be kissed by a boy, either, to be a woman. Or to be a valuable person. :) When one gets into a serious relationship, one regrets the silly, thoughtless kisses that could have been avoided. All so much more when one gets married, I guess.


#12

[quote="NewsTheMan, post:2, topic:196274"]
Everybody gets lonely :o

But it is comforting to know you are surrounded by the angels and saints, and God is there. I sometimes picture God giving me a big fat hug, and it really works! You are never alone when you have God in your life. Though I know, this is something that takes getting used to.

Don't worry about a thing. Learn to trust in the Lord, trust he will provide. Place your worries at the foot of the cross, and submit to his will ;)

Don't worry about boys. How old are you, if you don't mind me asking?

[/quote]

Im 20


#13

[quote="srlucado, post:7, topic:196274"]
To answer your question, yes, I've been lonely. Very lonely. A terrible experience, especially in adolescence. I'll leave out some gruesome examples, but yeah, I know a thing or two about loneliness.

So if you don't mind, I have a question for you. Are you lonely for friends, or specifically for a boyfriend?

If you want to make new friends, you're in an excellent position--you have faith, and that means having a faith community.

The best way to conquer loneliness is to turn outward, not inward. Get involved at church. Look to help others, not so much for others to help you.

And like magic...you'll draw others to you. Including a boyfriend, I'm sure.

Try it!

--Scott

[/quote]

I tried it but it never worked
i am 20 now still trying


#14

You need to grow stronger in faith and learn to cultivate spiritual joy. Never let your happiness depend on another person.


#15

We are all in cummunion with the Saints and all those in the Church (past, present and future!)! Thus, even in physically we are alone, we are never really alone.

Do what I am trying to do. Use the alone time to re-acquint yourself with the Bible, with the Saints, with your Saviour - when life catches up you might not have time!


#16

[quote="WolfWhisperer, post:1, topic:196274"]
Have you even been lonely? probably yes, well I've been having trouble finding a relationship. people m age have already have a boyfriend but i don't. I've never had a boyfriend or been kissed by a boy. i need help wat should i do

[/quote]

If you figure it out let me know?? I'm over 4 decades old and have had BFs and been kissed as well as keep myself busy with hobbies and groups but I still get lonely too from time to time. I think it's an unavoidable part of being human. :shrug:


#17

[quote="WolfWhisperer, post:1, topic:196274"]
Have you even been lonely? probably yes, well I've been having trouble finding a relationship. people m age have already have a boyfriend but i don't. I've never had a boyfriend or been kissed by a boy. i need help wat should i do

[/quote]

I remember those feelings. And yes, the loneliness was awful, it used to reduce me to tears sometimes. I used to wish my dream guy would come along. But, it's perfectly ok to not have a bf when your friends do have bfs.

It might sound strange but appreciate the single life. When I did get my first bf, it wasn't as nice as I pictured it to be, in fact I would say it's the worst relationship anyone could have ever had! After that experience, I've realized that the single life is great!

Don't worry, someday I'm sure you'll find your guy, but there's no need to rush :thumbsup: God will send him when the time is right. Don't keep dwelling on the fact that you don't have a bf, I'm sure there many other things to keep you occupied.

Meanwhile, you can pray about your loneliness, tell God how you feel. He always listens. ;)


#18

I've experienced lonliness plenty of times in my life. In my 20s I was in numerous relationships with various men. I loved the attention that I received; I felt desired and beautiful. I often mistook lust for love. I thought I always needed a boyfriend in my life in order to fill the void that I had. Not till I turned 30 did I realize that void could only be filled by Jesus! Now I have no desire to even have a boyfriend! I know that God has a special man waiting for me. I just need to be patient, because He will eventually reveal him to me. I'll pray that God may fill your lonely heart with much needed abundant love.

God bless you,
Marilyn


The morality of spouse searching
#19

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