1st timer here, and could use a little advice I guess. I was raised in a good catholic family, very close and have had a very blessed life. Raised on meat 'n potatoes, and a very direct way to approach life, to never back down from obstacles, nothings ever that terrible that a little faith and determination can’t overcome. great friends, career and all that the Lord has blessed me with.
My girlfriend and I have been together for 2 1/2 years, she was raised catholic, but after a terrible divorce, her father is no longer in the picture. From what she has told me, he was a troubled soul, and has alienated himself from pretty much his entire family.
She too is a troubled soul, and fears that she is too much like her father. she has a hard time dealing with daily stress, is quick to push away from friends and others who she feels have wronged her…she is depressed, but yet I have seen so much goodness within her, and we have had a lot of great times. She has the desire to have that family life, and do all the things her family didn’t have the chance to.
She has had a difficult life, and for the past 2 1/2 years I have tried to gently influence her, to try and shoulder some of her burden and lighten the load to help her to find her happiness, whatever it may be. She began attending church service with me, and eventually we participated in an adult confirmation program for her. Every step and 8am meeting I was there with her, to support her and share in the process - plus the refresher was good for me as well
It pains me to see her hurting and push people away, ‘before they have a chance to not like her’. She has such low self confidence, and like most ‘guys’ I guess I’m trying to ‘fix’ her, because that’s what we do, we’re the rock, and shoulder the burden. I find all her hurt, pain, and sadness eating away at me, and soon I am where I feel I can’t shoulder any more.
she admits to me at times, that she does feel depressed, she doesn’t know what to do, and that she wishes she could learn to deal with life better. I’ve tried to suggest talking with our priest, who is an absolute great person, but she refuses, b/c she does not want him to know her that way, and to be embarassed when she goes to church. I don’t know how to get her to open up to him…it’s free, he won’t shove pills on her to solve the problem.
I’m afraid for us, because we’re close to the point where we could get married, but nothing I do or how I try to help, will help her find happiness. I’m frustrated that I can’t take all her pain away, and I’m afraid that if we can’t start down the road of healing now, that any marriage between us would be doomed to fail, or an unhappy one at least.
Man this really got long, what a way to introduce myself
thanks for reading.