I am hoping that when I tell my story, someone out there will know exactly what I am talking about and be able to point me in the right direction. I have and 8 year old son and 3 year old triplets (2 girls, 1 boy) I have felt from the age of 3 that there is an issue with my 8 year old I have never been able to put my finger on. When he was in preschool, he had a terrible time with tantrums, to the point where we had to find 5 different preschools for him because we were always asked not to bring him back. In kindergarten, he had daily, inconsolable tantrums but was much improved by the end of the year. In addition to the tantrums, he had inappropriate behavior including spitting on children, hitting them, biting them, etc. (although this vicious behavior stopped by the end of kinder. During the preschool-kindergarten years, we had taken him to see several psychologists, behaviorists, etc. We had a few bad experiences with the psychologists where they didn’t seem to know much more about children then we did. The only decent psychologists we saw gave us an unofficial diagnosis of low-end spectrum Autism/Aspergers. We also were told by a few of his teachers that they felt he might be Autistic. My son also suffers from migraines, so we took him to a Pedi neurologist and were told he’s fine, he just has childhood migraines. Moving on to 1st grade, the tantrums, uncontrolled behavior, extreme hyperactivity became apparent, but he was much improved by the end of the year. In 2nd grade, the tantrums lessened, he had an AWESOME teacher, she put him in the gifted/talented program and several advanced classes, reading & math and his behavior was so much improved by the end of that year also. At this time, it became very apparent that my son was much more immature then the children his age, yet he was also much more academically advanced. Now we are in 3rd grade. It is very apparent that socially and mentally, he is not on the level of his peers. He continues to amaze us with his knowledge and learning abilities, but he teacher doesn’t see a special need for him to be in any advanced classes. I was at his Valentine party in school today and it is very apparent that the other children find him annoying and generally try to stay away from him, some are even mean, yet he doesn’t seem to realize how the other children treat him. He is EXTREMELY hyper and I can tell the other students and his teacher find him annoying. He is in no advanced classes of any sort this year as his teacher doesn’t see a need for it.
I feel that there is some issue with my son, Autism, ADHD…I am not sure. I just know his behavior is not right for an 8 year. His school has been very little help as far as having him evaluated or tested for Autism/ADHD and my husband and I don’t want to waste money going the psychologist route, as we know of no one that can recommend a good one. I am scared that if we do not get to the bottom of this soon, at least have a way to help him, it will start to hurt his spirit & self-esteem. My son is a very loving kid, sweet as can be to his siblings, smart and easy-going. He is so nice to his siblings and not a bit jealous of them. Yet his maturity seems to have stunted.
Where do we go from here? The school is not helping. Our Dr. hasn’t referred us to anyone that has been helpful. How do you get to the bottom of a problem that you know in your heart is there?