Ok. Just as a final note about parental relationships, the weaknesses are not always obvious. My parents had good intentions, but my mother was overinvolved and my father underinvolved. so I got “smothered” by my mother, and she has mood swing issues with anger, and she always knew how to hurt my feelings cause she knew too much. It builds up and explodes out of nowhere. and I never got close with my father, he was gone at work most of the time, and didn’t really get involved with me after I was a toddler. He also seems afraid to show affection. If It had been better, I wouldn’t be afraid to talk about this stuff with him. But as it is, I still am too scared to bring it up.
The difficult thing I went through, is when I actually came to the conclusion that something was missing, that they didn’t give me what I needed, and that I suffered greatly because of it, it brought out a very deep sadness and loneliness, realizing your parents are not as perfect as you hoped was a shattering experience, I was like crying for 2 days straight going through some of this stuff.
Sounds like thats probably not your problem though.
Insecurity about your body could definately be a big factor. There could be shame that you have for not changing your body all this time, if you were teased, then that would be a traumatic incident. This kind of thing can go back to parents a little bit, cause parents can give you backup emotional support in social situations, that can counter teasing and insecurity. What I mean is, if your father(who is a male role model you look up to) tells you he’s proud of you, then nothing the other boys say is gonna put you down.
I wish I knew more about weak male relatioships, but I have had so few relationships I don’t even know the difference for sure. I do know that at high school I knew alot of people, I was friends with almost everybody and popular, but I never hung out with anybody outside of school. I was good at interacting in a party situation, but I barely got close with any of the guys.
I imagine communication is key, if you speak up to your friends and explain your insecurities and your problems, then they have the oppurtunity to give you emotional support and reassurance.