Looking for descriptive words

A member of my extended family is pro-abortion. He is a member of NARAL a militantly pro-death group. I cannot even think about this person without anger and disgust and have determined that I will not attend any family gathering where he will be there. I have just been informed that he will be at a family gathering in July so I will not be attending. I believe that I will be asked why I won’t attend and plan to say because “Johnny” will be there. I want to avoid any public unpleasantness. I cannot be civil to him due to his pro-abortion convictions. Does anyone have a better word to describe his convictions rather than merely “pro-abortion”? I wish that I could think of something since he actively seeks the death of unborn babes and is active politically in this realm.
BTW, does anyone else have a similar situation in your life? If so, how do you deal with it?


well for 1 i say dont avoided him, dont let this guy ruin your life or your relationship with your kin and 2 just bite your tongue when you see him if he says something too you just smile and be nice maybe you can teach him the truth cause with God all things are possible

CountrySteve is exactly right. There is a lot of family time that you could be missing out on just because of this person. It’s not right that “Johnny” can do that to you…and that is exactly what the evil one wants to happen to people like you.

Although it’s not as radical as yours, my family definitely does not understand or support the Church’s stance on a lot of hot topics. Usually when we do family things, we let it be understood that we don’t talk about it. Occasionally it does come up in things, but it is important to just be as charitable as possible.

If Johnny is really passionate and wants to talk about it, then charitably explain a family gathering is not the place to talk about those things–maybe suggest coffee or somewhere the two of you can talk. Then, brush up on your pro-life information and go in ready to explain. Sometimes pro-choice people are understanding/willing to listen and sometimes not. And if all he wants to do is yell and say nasty things, then just tell him you can’t talk with him unless he is willing to actually have a conversation–rather than a scream-fest. A lot of times, charity throws people off and makes them actually listen. Otherwise, all you can do is pray for him!

I agree with the 1st response to this post.

Still, you are asking for descriptive words for his stance.

You’ve used 2, pro-death and pro-abortion
Some people say, Pro-choice and pro-womens rights
you could say, anti-catholic or anti-life
Or you politely could say he is inconsiderate towards the most vulnerable people in this world… People that should be protected.

Hmm…what else…I can’t think of anything else right now, but I’m sure there’s more.

Thanks everyone for your input. Putting on a happy face is not an option for me. Babies are being murdered. This person actively works towards that goal. I guess for many its peace at all cost. I see it is no different than sharing a family evening with Hitler. This is the new holocaust. Is there anyone who reads this as outraged and horrified as me? How horrible must something be until it is too horrible to pretend the elephant isn’t there?


the way of the hearts without Christ is a evil way my friend they have no morals and values no more

Thank you for your input. I’m not sure how it relates to my questions though. I cannot be civil to someone who actively seeks to procure abortions. I can be civil to someone whom I know believes in a woman’s right to murder her babe if that person understands that if he brings the subject up he will be argued with vociferously. Since I cannot be civil, there is a very real possibly that there will be uncomfortable moments for everyone there. How anyone who is against the murder of babes in the womb can sit and have a polite conversation with someone who actively procures abortions is beyond my understanding. If this person were my son he would already have been taken to the shed verbally and would never darken my doorstep until he cleaned up his act. I guess that I’m an anomaly.


I can understand your feelings. I do, however, think that it’s a shame that one person will cause you to avoid family gatherings. But, like I said, I understand why. And, I can’t say that I would be able to handle seeing such a person either. I also avoid people who are so militantly anti-life.

Please know that I will pray for you and this person.

I appreciate those prayers more than you know, thank you. Also, I attend most family gatherings. The person in question lives in another state and is not in the area more than once a year.

as i always try to tell myself when im in situation’s when i get angry just bite my tongue it please Jesus whenever we are mad at someone and still treat them good

If you avoid this family gathering and the topic arises, who will be there to present the catholic viewpoint? Who will be there to defend the innocent? By staying away you may give the impression that you lack the ability to converse intellegently in the topic…that your viewpoint lacks reason.

If you don’t want to discuss the topic, you can politely say that you don’t feel like a family gathering is the approrpiate time or place. This is entirely reasonable.

If you do want to discuss the topic, it may be an opportunity to present the chursh’s perspective on protecting the innocent. You may not change his mind, but you may illuminate others.

I don’t really see what opting out achieves.

I leave it to your discretion whether to attend or not. You might consult a pastor if anyone else’s advice prompts you. But anyway…

What about “aversion to my convictions”
“hostile to my convictions”
or “I decided in the interest of peace not to go where my convictions are unwelcome”
or “I had to make a judgment. Whether right or wrong, I think my attendance would only cause irreconcilable conflict and in the interest of peace, I am going to pass this year and revisit the situation next time”

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