I’ve posted several times over the past year, since I started working with a woman suffering from an abortion. She’s had her ups and downs and unique incidents, but is far from healing.
She’s taken to talking to me about her experiences, feelings, overall “status” so to say. I’ve encouraged her numerous times to seek professional assistance, and I’ve also encouraged attendance at meetings such as Rachael’s vineyard. She is still working through a lot (I think she is in the actual durational time situation/trauma still occurring.)
Anyways, I don’t overly or dependently involve myself in her life or befriend her outside of work, but I also don’t want to cut her off as she claims I am the only person she has to talk to. (Divorced parents both separated from her, no siblings, abusive boyfriend w/ a restraining order…this girl has no support system).
I’m looking for some simple, slow and kind ways to delve a little deeper into the issue. She talks to me about things and although often times she is happy just to have a listener, sometimes she wants more engagement from me, such as giving advice or talking about the issue.
For example, she has been suffering from nightmares (which I am considering PTSD flashbacks) and also very vivid dreams. She talked about one in which she dreamed she put the baby up for adoption instead of aborting. It really has her torn up inside. She paused after talking and wanted me to say something, but I just don’t know what to say. As I understand it, she is living several different realities…
On the one hand, she is Christian and feels the immorality of it from a purely religious view. On the other hand, she is spinning towards the sin of despair, believing she can’t be forgiven.
She constantly tries to gain control of the trauma by claiming it was her choice and that it was the best choice. (She was coerced by her ex bf). Yet she can’t help recognizing that she could have afforded to have the baby and that everything would have worked out okay.
She is grappling with the inconsistencies from her mother, who commanded her to have an abortion and claimed her life would be over with a baby. Yet then the mother is completely ashamed of her and refuses to talk to her.
I guess I’m just rambling on here to see if others have a perspective. One thing that I really admire is her desire to talk about it and share it. She condemns herself, and yet at the same time it allows her to open up about it. I suspect her desire to wear it on her sleeve is a cry for help.