Losing faith in my family


#1

Forgive me if this comes off as a rant…

Ever since five years ago, my parents have been slowly subscribing to a lot of feel good New Age philosophies. At first it looked like it had done nothing more than give them a more optimistic view of life. They’ve felt that this was something they needed since my dad was planning to retire early and start his own business.

A couple of years later however, I observed them reading a lot of fairly popular New Age books and movies (e.g. The Secret). And like a lot of morally relativistic ideologies I’ve found associated with the New Age, it caused my family to go downhill (though how exactly would be a long story).

Here’s the thing, I’ve never been fully drawn into this. However, it was never fully because of my faith (though it played a role in my judgment) but also because I’m what a lot of people label as your typical, brooding, self-loathing emo. Though that might be an exaggeration, it’s enough to say that my family just couldn’t get around my more realistic way of thinking. The Catholic articles I’ve read with regards to New Age just gave me more reason to lose faith in whatever advice they tried to give me.

Now because of these ideals, my dad’s gone from a strict authoritarian perfectionist to a pseudo-philosophical one, which is worse. He (and often times the rest of my family) do nothing but point out what’s wrong with how I see things, criticize the mistakes that I’ve already hated and scolded myself for making, and say hardly a word of any redeeming qualities or improvements I may have. My dad’s excuse for neglecting to do the last one?

He expects me to see it myself. He expects me to see it and at the same time, he constantly makes me feel more and more like an incompetent loser who can’t do his job right.

Can you believe it? Here I am, constantly being plagued by criticisms by a parent who has lost all moral integrity in my eyes, and then being told feel good by him when he can’t even see that his son suffers from insecurities that would make ten regular emos hang themselves.

Regardless, he and the rest are still my family. Even if I were to discard his questionable advice, I am still in some way subject to him. You can say it’s a cultural thing here. I can’t criticize his views openly. I can’t convert him back. I virtually can’t say anything! I’m just their son. My opinion will always be beneath theirs in their eyes and they always think they know better than me.

What do I do? How can I get my family (much less my parents) to stop buying into these morally dangerous beliefs and go back to the faith without making it obvious?


#2

Well just remember, Wanderer, God is still in control. When i was younger, i got into new age stuff too. I was looking for some power. I didn’t see anything in the Roman church. I looked for something to empower my life and find some deeper knowledge. But then when i was 38, a friend who i had worked with for a year, told me how he found the Lord, was saved, and that it changed his life. Well, i wasn’t too impressed at first, but the Lord also gave him a wonderfull gift of healing. He prayed and people really were healed. Like blind eyes were opened and cancer was instantly cured. I had to admit that this was real and God was really working, because here was someone i knew personally. I believed and was saved because God sent a powerful witness with working of miracles. If He can do it for me, He can do it for you. I will be praying for you.


#3

Praise the Lord Wanderer,
How are you doing? I just want to add that the one most important thing in my life is that i know that Jesus loves me! This is what everyone really needs. You can’t get it from “New Age”. I also know that i am accepted in the beloved because Jesus died for me. You are to show the love of Jesus to others including your parents. It may take time but believe God and stand on His word and they will be saved. God is faithful.


#4

LW, you and and I have seen quite a bit on this forum. I am so very sorry that you have had this experience You have my earnest prayers. May God grant you the graces you ned to deal with your situation.

I wish I had something constructive to offer, but I am am sorry to say I cannot think of anything either comforting or constructive.

May God grant you His peace.


#5

Well thanks for that. Honestly, I just really can’t see what to do (much less what God wants me to do) about this. All these crazy, feel-good ideas have turned my dad into a completely reckless, overoptimistic idealist whose perfectionist standards only shot up higher. It’s making him deploy the most unthinkable, most inconvenient, and just plain impossible all for the sake of “Customer Service”. He’s like the Filipino version of Mr. Krabs now that I think about it. -_-;;


#6

Pray for your parents. Respect them and love them but don’t allow their ideas and criticism to get to you. Try to be an example of common sense and integrity. I know it is not easy, especially if you are under their roof and their rules. But these feel good movements tend to offer short term bliss and people eventually get bored or dissappointed, or both. Live your faith as best as you can and your parents will see that it makes a difference.

God bless!


#7

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