Some friends have offered to help me in my ‘quest’ to find God. There are certain points I need to know:
That there is a God (I wish to respect atheists but no longer ‘wobble’ over whether they are correct or no)
That He is infinite/endless in quality* (despite what one scientist friend of mine says!)
That *ALL things reflect Him and that all loves, thereby, are fulfilled endlessly by His being (a disputed point: some believe all things (ducks, Dracula, fried rice, ANYTHING) reflect part of Him in so much as they exist (evil is negation of goodness not creation in itself), whilst others believe only some things reflect Him and still others believe that nothing reflects Him at all and that His goodness is seperate to the Creation’s goodness He made).
Question is, HOW to research such things? Where to look? I have personally tried listening to certain individuals viewpoints (all clashing and different) and read widely. Is there a church where these above ‘facts’ are a given? What to do?
I’m a creature of logic so, though it is a shame, ‘just praying’ and waiting for answers won’t work…If I get answers that way, I’d doubt my own inclination they are from God, as it’s easy to delude oneself.
(*One thing I don’t get, is I love Boethus’s idea man is only fully satisfied when He has nothing left to have or yearn for. But I don’t understand it in the context that we only get a ‘bit’ of God in the end, being finite ourselves. Almost seems to defeat the point of having an ‘infinite yearning’. How to find a way around that?)
(*and I mean all! That is part of the research that I need to do- I need to research an aspect of the faith that is open-minded to the idea all things reflect Him. It’s hard to tell when a theologian genuinely means ‘all’…How to tell?)
I know all of this is a big ask, but I’ve been losing my faith and it’s crunch time- I need definite answers and, as my friends propose to help me, we need something definite to chase or this mission of ours is going to be for nothing and we’ll just wind up with a million different uncohesive ideas. Which is essentially where I am now. When you simply cannot say anything at all about God without doubt, it’s a problem…