Losing Faith? Was it ever meant to be?


#1

I’m now 19 years old. Over the years at various times I felt a tug on my heart to become a nun. Now, I feel a tug to become a mother and yet wonder that I could care less about marriage. Oddly, I’ve always seemed to know that I would likely end up single my whole life, regardless of what I planned on doing with it. I’m the kind of girl who marches who marches to her own drummer, and has always felt like I never really belong anywhere.

Now, at times I begin to wonder if it was real? And what’s going on. I’m having work complications and my morale just keeps dropping as I start looking for another job and have already run against a roadblock. Sometimes I even wonder if God hears me anymore. I know through such small acts as helping me pass my exams when I felt like I couldn’t, that he is there somewhere. I just wish I could find that child-like voice again that once believed without a doubt.

I was baptized non-denominational Christian back last November. However, since it was a “private” baptism and my parents found out (they were more mad I didn’t tell them then there own religious conflicts), I decided against going back to church since the day of the event. I have one semi-close friend who may be secretly trying to lose me, or only use me as a back-up when board, and another that just used me as a cover for himself (and sadly because I’m too nice to people, and not smart enough to fight back my being a target isn’t uncommon) so I no longer know what to do. I still feel happy watching movies as “One Night With the King” and reading in the Bible of others faith, and yet wish I could find it and move forward again and stead of backwards.

As far as being called goes when I was going through that time first in high school I saw a nun at work. I didn’t talk to her or anything but noted that she seemed very happy and peaceful. I was later cast in a play as the nun in “Tracks”. The play involved the choice of all the characters to move onto heaven as all were dead. Advice?


#2

Are you losing faith or lost in life? Perhaps you should take some time to sit and think about what you want out of life, and what obligations you have. Look inward and recognize the strength that you have as a capable individual.


#3

[quote="lynx, post:2, topic:198894"]
Are you losing faith or lost in life? Perhaps you should take some time to sit and think about what you want out of life, and what obligations you have. Look inward and recognize the strength that you have as a capable individual.

[/quote]

I would recommend that and also i would say to pray, introspect and really listen to what God has to say to you, talk to a priest.


#4

You may want to go talk to a priest. I have a nerve telling you this as I'm just 21 but you are only 19 years old. You have your entire life in front of you. If you think becoming a sister would make you happy then go to a retreat with a group near you and see what happens. Maybe it sparks a fire in you which you previously didn't have. I'll pray for you

God bless

Jeff


#5

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