Losing Friendship

I recently lost a very good friend of many years. Not through death, he is still OK. We had been arguing and fighting in the last few months and it got pretty bad. Finally, I think our friendship ended. I don’t believe it is possible to be saved.

I feel very bad for us both. For myself, in that I lost a wonderful friend who was supportive and kind. For him, in that I was those things for him also. We have both lost a source of intimate support.

I do feel this is God’s call, that my friend was holding me back in some ways from my walk with my Lord. Through prayer I have come to realize that my life will be holier and wiser, more full of trust in Him alone, if I do lose this earthly and worldly friendship.

But it is still hard. If anyone out there could offer prayers for me and my loneliness, or suggest readings from scripture, lives of the saints, or other books or websites that might help me deal with this aching loneliness, I would be deeply grateful.

Many blessings on you all. I thank God often for this wonderful site and the wonderful people I have met here.

Much Love to all who read,
and thank you in advance to all who respond

Praying for you, I have also lost a friend and I am also in the process of losing a close friendship due to my coming back to the Church. Please don’t feel alone.

I’ve lost friends like this. Sometimes it’s time to move forward.

Hi KittyCoin,

Losing a friend is always difficult especially where there has been arguments and negativity involved. I pray for both you and him. I too have lost a friend, several it feels like.Since I have been seriously ill, it seems like everyone has disappeared. I feel like since I have nothing to offer (service, rides, etc) I don’t even get phone calls. Sometimes Ifeel like I just want to be recognized and needed by someone from my church. So, I really have to turn to God and ask His forgiveness for my attitude and ask for the grace to continue to love them just the way they are, unconditionally as God loves me. Hope you can find peace soon. God bless you, I will keep you in prayer.

You shouldn’t give up on a good friend just because he’s not in the same religion as you. If the only thing you were arguing about was religion then I encourage you to try and make up.

I’ve been going through similar struggles with a dear friend of mine…Sounds like
we may be in the same boat, Kittycoin.

It helps to keep reminding yourself that we are in God’s hands…But what helps me the
MOST is to remember that I can actually offer up my prayers/ works/ and suffering
to obtain graces for my friend.

Don’t know if you’ve read “The Volumes”, but this message said to be from Jesus about abandonment gives me great comfort when I get very discouraged about our struggles…

Hope it helps you and the other posters who are also going through these troubles.

November 1, 2011
My dear apostles, I am with you. I am with you when
you are working, and I am with you when you are
resting. I am with you when you are at peace, and I
am with you when you are unsettled. You are unsettled less and less,
though. As I watch you, struggling for holiness and struggling for
My will, I can see that you are advancing. You are becoming
stronger and more sure of Me. Even allowing for your human
doubts, I can see that you are accepting My comfort daily, which
makes it easier for you to come through your trials with less
suffering. The greatest suffering is, after all, abandonment. The
greatest cross is that of being left alone while craving the comfort
and love of someone who is dear to you. My friends, often there is
confusion in human relationships which causes terrible suffering.
This part of the cross is heavy, indeed, and I, Myself, suffered this.
It is during these times that I comfort you with the greatest and
most tender graces because I understand the confusion which
accompanies abandonment.
For Me, it was important to remind
myself that My Father would not abandon Me. For you, this is also
important. I will never leave you. If you feel that you have been
abandoned by someone you love, either through death or rejection,
then you must come to Me for comfort. I will remind you that in
heaven there will be no tears, no grieving, no heartbreak. In heaven
you will be reunited in love with those who also love Me. Never
worry about those who have gone before you. Pray for them and
trust Me. The family of God is vast and includes people you know
and people you do not know. You will rejoice in heaven and, even
now, heaven rejoices in you. Dear apostles, heaven rejoices in you
at this moment, as you read these words and acknowledge Me as
your King. In the world, the cross was My throne and you, too, are
celebrated by heaven in your suffering. You will not be forsaken and
you will not be forgotten. I will be with you and we will move
forward with heaven’s goals for your life. Have courage, apostles.
All of heaven assists you and protects you.

This happens, and it is hard. I have lost a few friends over time over things neither of us could control. But sometimes it’s just over, and you have to let each other go.

I have no specific advice to give, but know that I’m praying for you, Kitty. :signofcross:


I don’t see where the OP said the conflict was about religion. It is possible for someone who shares your faith to still hold you back spiritually, and that situation is not always salvageable.

St. Faustina prayed for rain and it came, page 417 of her Diary.

“The heat is so intense today it is difficult to bear. We are all thirsting for rain, and still it does not come. For several days the sky has been overcast, but there is no rain. When I looked at the plants, thirsting for rain I was moved with pity, and I decided to say the chaplet until the Lord would send us rain. Before supper, the sky covered over with clouds, and a heavy rain fell on the earth. I had been saying this prayer without interruption for three hours. And the Lord let me know that everything can be obtained by means of this prayer.”

Pray this prayer of the Divine Chaplet. It is such a beautiful prayer in which we offer the sufferings and passion of Jesus to his heavenly Father. How can he refuse looking at his own Son’s love? It is the very offering we make at the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. And that is very pleasing.

May God our Father give you grace and peace.

It’s been three years since I severed a 25 year friendship. Like a death it takes time to mourn and recover. In my case I knew that in order to stay right with God it had to happen. I warned my friend that you can’t play with God several times, when thngs didn’t not change I moved on. Examine the reason for your split, if it is something that can or should be repaired or forgiven then humble yourself and try. But, if you are being taken away from God by this friendship, stay strong. Praying for you.

Sarah J , I like your post. I read Revelations 21:1-7 or more, last night and again this morning and it was very reasuring. God promises to be our God forever and to love and care for us. The old time is past the new is here and we can depend on him - just walk in His way.

"“Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people. God Himself will be with them and be their God. 4 And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; gthere shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”

5 Then He who sat on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.” And He said 2to me, “Write, for these words are true and faithful.”

6 And He said to me, l“It 3 is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. I will give of the fountain of the water of life freely to him who thirsts. 7 He who overcomes 4shall inherit all things, and I will be his God and he shall be My son."

I was feeling lonely and this helped, hope it helps someone else.
God Bless, everyone, I have to go for my infusion and Coumadin check, please keep me in prayer.


Leslie, thank you for the Bible verses.   I hope your doctor's appt. went well for you 

yesterday…i said a decade of the rosary for you. :wink:

 Have you read "The Volumes" by Anne the lay apostle ?   I started reading them 

several years ago, and they have helped me SO MUCH to become closer to God
and have brought me so much comfort and understanding.

  • **Volume I ** deals quite a bit with illness and suffering and I think
    you might find comfort in it.

Here’s the link…you can download any of the Volumes for free, or you can
order them through the mail for a nominal fee. I hope they help you as much as they have
helped me.

Hi Sarah J, thank you so much for responding. No I have not read the writings you refer to. Thank you for the Link I will check it out today. Anything spiritual dealing with illness is much appreciated. I started the blog yesterday and and have had response to it already. That is a good sign. Thanks again for the link, I cant wait to read. It is time to do my meditations by Ignatius. Somehow God knows exactly what to give me to do, like coming to this site. Take care and have a good day. Oh, regarding yesterday, my blood pressure went really low so they kept checking it. My nose is still all stuffed up and with wicked post nasal. I took all the suggestions they had and used the saline rinse too, but no relief yet. Today I found the Arthritis Strength Tylenol,hope it works too. Thanks for asking and for the prayers. I have a hearing test tomorrow and then see the ENT Doc again. Ican’t afford hearing aids but at least it will by on record. . Thanks again, my prayers go out to you too.

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