Losing my faith and don't know what to do


Dear fellow Catholics,

To tell you the truth, I have been slowly loosing my faith, and I don’t know what to do. What has triggered it is the fact that I have seen and heard comments from other Catholics, even saints, that can be interpreted as racist.

For example, Blessed Catherine Emmerich has made comments in regards to blacks being the result of the curse of ham. It just blows my mind that a saint of the Church would say these things, not to mention that the Church would even consider canonizing her.

Not only that, but I have personally encountered and witnessed racism online by others that profess to be Catholics in whom promote white supremacist ideology and Nazism, even to the point of proving how it’s reconcilable with Church teaching.

As a young black male that’s a convert to the church, I guess you can say that I just don’t feel like I belong anymore. I never felt this way until I seen such crazy views all over the internet. In a sense I feel betrayed because I’m always quick to defend the church against those that attack her.

Sometimes I even get depressed to the point of falling into despair by seeing how many people online view me as a person because of my race, and I have even gotten to the point several times in where i actually felt dehumanized because of the “evidence” that shows blacks are sub - human etc.

It’s a sensitive topic for me, and it took a lot of courage to write these things; so bare with me. I hope that I didn’t offend anybody, but I just need help in this regard. I’m hoping I can be pointed in the right direction and find the answers to my situation.

Please for me.


When I have concern with what other Catholics, Saints and even St Paul says. I return to the words of Jesus. You could try reading the Rosary mysteries and only concentrating on what Our Lord says. This helps me by refocusing on God and to the acceptance of all his Saints we all are not perfect.


We have to remember that the state of a person at the moment of their death can be completely different from when they committed that serious fault. As for Anne Emerich, I think it was someone else who collected things that he claimed she said, but it wasn’t verified.


Yes, we humans (even Catholics) sometimes say and believe the darnest things. I am so sorry you were made to feel that way.

However, maybe racism has nothing to do with religion? Reason why I am saying this is because I am catholic, and I do not believe in discriminating because of skin color. The color of your soul is more important to me than the color of your skin.

But…I think most of us undergo “attack” at some point in our lives, and the attack will usually come from somewhere where it hurts us the most. When I falter, or begin to have doubts (generally because of humans running the show) I go back to the New Testament, and read Jesus ONLY. I take out all the other human factors and concentrate on solely what Jesus said. Hard to go wrong there.

I have asked for people to pray for me here, and it has helped A LOT! So in turn, I will pray for you. :slight_smile: God bless you.


Check out this thread


The church does not teach racism.



I am sorry. Catholics even saints make mistakes. I am sorry you have experience racism.

I am white and I am sorry. Please stay in the church and make it a better place. Look to the life of St. Katherine Drexel. My aunt was a Sister of the Blessed Sacrament, her order. :love_you_gesture:


@rosthesinner , I am sorry about your bad experiences from disobedient Catholics .

Don’t lose your faith because of some bigots and racists .

The bishops at the Second Vatican Council made the Church’s teaching clear when they declared , “The Church reproves, as foreign to the mind of Christ, any discrimination against men/women or harassment of them because of their race, colour, condition of life, or religion.”

That’s what the Church teaches , and any Catholic who disobeys this teaching needs to get off to Confession and repent .

May St Martin de Porres , patron of all those seeking racial harmony , pray for us all .


I’ll just mention that at the time of St Martin de Porres’ canonization Pope John XXIII lamented the fact that he had seen many statues of St Martin de Porres depicting him as white .


I think I read somewhere that we humans see less than 4% of light in the electromagnetic spectrum. A bee also has restricted sight, to a bee I look very different but that is its reality and if I mess with that bee it may well sting me but I shouldn’t and haven’t taken it personally because I understand the bee better than he understands me.

Someone else said our souls have no colour as such and I would add that as far as I know everyone has one and those souls are made in the image of God, and if you love God …need I say more.

Don’t leave the Church, you are needed.


If it is of any consolation to you, know that racism and even having affinity to those whom we like, is part and parcel of human nature. Catholics definitely, like everybody else, are not spared of this.

So be careful. Differentiate the Church’s teaching and the weaknesses of men. Even the saints. They were not born ones. Perhaps many of them were even worse sinners than us. Even St. Paul, at one time he was a murderer and persecutor. They only became saints when they changed.

And is not that applied to all of us? We are all prodigal sons, until we return to the Father.

Even St. Paul spoke about racism and implied it when he mentioned about cliques and factions even among the believers.

However, as we grow deeper in the Lord and begin to achieve holiness, we will overcome the negative aspect of human nature to be more and more like Jesus.

Remember, God is your Father, and you are His son. Does not matter whether you are black, white, yellow or green.

Be at peace.


For Heaven sake, (and I mean that in the literal sense) don’t go letting the internet form you in major life decisions .

Any goof ball can claim to be anything they like on the internet and say any silly or stupid thing, and without filters or gatekeepers.

But I will keep you in my :pray:t2::pray:t2::pray:t2:. The struggle for faith is real, and we get attacked on all sides :confused:



Don’t be sorry, it wasn’t your fault. God bless you. Thank you for your kind words.


Thank you, everybody. This is a touchy subject for me, and I’m happy to see that I didn’t get any negative responses.

Personally, I was raised to love everybody of all cultures and that’s the way I have always been. It’s only recently that I began experiences this whole emphasis on race in every little subject, and it’s caused rift between people. I believe it’s because of the media. I just wish we could all set these things aside and rejoice in Christ and come to unity.

Please keep me, a sinner, in your prayers.


From 1 Samuel 16:7 (NABRE-USCCB):
But the LORD said to Samuel: Do not judge from his appearance or from his lofty stature, because I have rejected him. God does not see as a mortal, who sees the appearance. The LORD looks into the heart.

Don’t be afraid, my brother. I will lift you & others struggling in the Church up in prayer.

Pray for me, too, please. Let the joy of the Lord be your strength.

The Katinas - "You Are God ":

Ephesians 6 (NABRE-USCCB):

Battle against Evil.

  • Finally, draw your strength from the Lord and from his mighty power.
    Put on the armor of God so that you may be able to stand firm against the tactics of the devil.g
    For our struggle is not with flesh and blood but with the principalities, with the powers, with the world rulers of this present darkness, with the evil spirits in the heavens.h
    Therefore, put on the armor of God, that you may be able to resist on the evil day and, having done everything, to hold your ground.i
    So stand fast with your loins girded in truth, clothed with righteousness as a breastplate,j
    and your feet shod in readiness for the gospel of peace.k
    In all circumstances, hold faith as a shield, to quench all [the] flaming arrows of the evil one.l
    And take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.m
    Constant Prayer.
    With all prayer and supplication, pray at every opportunity in the Spirit. To that end, be watchful with all perseverance and supplication for all the holy onesn
    and also for me, that speech may be given me to open my mouth, to make known with boldness the mystery of the gospelo
    for which I am an ambassador in chains, so that I may have the courage to speak as I must.p

From 2 Corinthians 10:

For, although we are in the flesh, we do not battle according to the flesh,*
for the weapons of our battle are not of flesh but are enormously powerful, capable of destroying fortresses. We destroy argumentsb
and every pretension raising itself against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive in obedience to Christ,

This is a homily dated from 19 Aug 2018 from Fr. Robert Altier regarding the current scandal. It is very timely though the subject matter is for more mature audiences. Parental discretion is advised for younger listeners:


We are all under spiritual assault right now. Turn your eyes upon Jesus - look full in His Wonderful Face, & the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory & grace.


I listened to this last night. Fantastic homily.


Don’t believe everything you read off the internet.

To be fair there are Protestant sects of black Christians who think white people are cursed.

There is also just in general a lot of theological theories on why there are different races but as we know sometimes the Bible is allegorical.

You’re going to find that every organization in the world whether they be religious or secular are going to have racist in them.

When you read the Saints you need to look at the context of the time that they lived within and what they were really actually saying within that context.

Some saints are considered by today’s standards to be anti-semitic.

I personally don’t really think they are I just think that anytime you are being critical of Judaism and Jews it’s considered anti-semitic just in the same way that Christians get called homophobes for a upholding Christian doctrine.

It is perfectly okay to criticize other people and religions when that criticism is constructive and not destructive and hateful.

There are plenty of liberal Catholics on here that make me want to not be Catholic or leave the Church but I don’t I don’t let what people say on the Internet or in person interfere with my relationship with God and holy mother Church.


I would just say that though we are inevitably affected by people our faith is maintained by keeping our eyes firmly fixed on Our Heavenly Father. Faith in flesh is a mistake easily made since we are surrounded by the persistent illusion of what we call reality. How often do we get up from a chair and feel our weight on our feet and realise that we are standing in a sea of gravity, yet we are. God is also everywhere and I think it’s good to remember that what we see is a tiny fraction of what exists.

I have faith in God, not so much people.


We are the body of Christ so part of my body sinned against you. I am sorry. :boxing_glove::love_you_gesture:


Ive read this website before and I like it.


I know I did not address your concerns with racism and it was not to ignore your struggle. I wanted to find the image and suggest that if any Saints did make racist comments (which I am unsure of) then they unknowingly made them towards Christ as well. Besides, Jesus said whatever you do to the least of these you do unto me. That includes our words. If we say demeaning things to somebody, we surely say them to Christ as well. Christ and his mother were the only perfect people to have ever lived. Everyone else fell short… very short. No Saint could make it to heaven on their own merit and some saints have done or said questionable things. A lot of stories about The saints tend to romanticize, which does them and us a disservice. I want to know what they were really like. I want to hear about the mistakes they made and the sins they overcame. Not just how they might have floated into heaven carried by doves while smelling of roses. This is not to say that the Saints did not have unbelievable spiritual experiences and to lessen their extraordinary faith and love that they had in Christ. But it can be a distraction. The Saints were saints because of their love for Christ and from realizing their faults and knowing how badly they needed His mercy. He poured out His grace on them and they tried to respond as best as they could, even in weakness.

Forgive them if any of them said things that have hurt you. I assure you that any Saints whom you feel hurt by, are praying for you now and interceding for you in a special way.

God bless you brother.

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