Losing my faith

I’m a 21 year old female, and up until recently, I have tried my very best to be a devout Catholic. But after a continuous series of painful events, I find myself losing faith. It’s not that I don’t believe in God…I just believe there is a God who doesn’t care about me at all.

I have nagging physical pain - a bulging disc in my neck, a bulging disc in my lower spine that presses into my bladder, causing incontinence at times and frequent trips to the restroom; fibromyalgia that causes extreme fatigue, and pain that is so bad sometimes that even the hairs on my arms hurt.

Socially, I am an outcast and almost always have been for being a Catholic and trying to do the right thing. I have been mocked out at school by both students and professors for my strong conservative stance. Mind you, I am not particularly outspoken about my political beliefs unless asked. And once that was discovered about me in a debate class at college, I was (physically) kicked, shoved, and no one ever eased up on me. Most of my family is estranged from me, because they dislike Catholics. I have no one. I am completely alone and I’m beginning to hate God for it. I never thought I’d say that, but there is only so much I can take. I don’t want to go back to church and I don’t want to pray anymore because I am completely numb. So I ask you to please pray for me. I don’t know how much more I can take and my faith is dwindling.

:gopray:

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning is now ever shall be world without end
Amen.

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy, hear and answer me. Amen

:signofcross:

Our Father who art in Heaven,
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done
on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
Amen. :signofcross:

Hail Mary, full of grace,
the Lord is with thee.
Blessed are you among women,
and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour of our death.
Amen. :signofcross:

I am praying for you - take your pain to our Lord!

May our Lord Jesus Christ surround you with His healing love, and grant you courage.

I am struggling with issues of faith right now, as well. I still believe in God, but, like you, I guess I am not sure what to believe.

I am so sorry you are going through such a trial.
Look to our Blessed Mother who, without sin, could love perfectly and could feel the sorrows in life even more intensely because she loved perfectly.

No one will be free from suffering in this life but one thing is sure, without God, the suffering is much worse.

Hail, holy Queen, Mother of mercy, hail, our life, our sweetness and our hope. To thee do we cry, poor banished children of Eve: to thee do we send up our sighs, mourning and weeping in this vale of tears. Turn then, most gracious Advocate, thine eyes of mercy toward us, and after this our exile, show unto us the blessed fruit of thy womb, Jesus, O merciful, O loving, O sweet Virgin Mary! Amen.

[INDENT]Prayer for Those in Despair

Heavenly Father, I know I am close to despair.
I feel so tempted to give up, to withdraw from life
and religion and let the world simply carry me along.
Everything seems so meaningless and nothing appeals to my better instincts.
Help me to remember that Jesus gave meaning to everything in the world.
Let me bank on that fact and get over this time of despair,
to really believe in the depths of my being that there is a reason for living.
Show me the reason for my life and tell me what I must do.
Bring home to me that I am never alone, but that
You are with me even in the depths of despair.
Remind me that no matter what I may endure now,
an unending joy awaits me in the future if I but cling tightly to You
and your Son Jesus in the unity of the Spirit. Amen.

:crossrc:

[/INDENT]

I just said a prayer for you. God bless you.

It’s been a long while since I was at school, but I seem to remember how it felt to be one Catholic among many, many non-Catholics or non-believers. Keep the faith and lay yourself at Our Lord’s feet as the woman in the Gospel did - you will find comfort there.

Praying for you.

Hail Mary, Full of Grace, the Lord is with thee!
Blessed are thou amongst women and Blessed is the Fruit of thy Womb, Jesus!
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

Praying…

Saint Michael, the archangel, defend us in battle, be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil, may God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do you, O’ Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God thrust into Hell Satan and all the other evil spirits who prowl about the world for the ruin of souls.

Amen.

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

Receive the sacraments and pray the Rosary.

Go to confession. Confess your lack of faith and receive absolution.

Attend Mass.

Pray the Rosary.

Hang in there.

It might be that God has you fast tracked for Heaven, I don’t mean a short life here, I mean your time in purgatory is being served here, it happens to many. you only need to recognise it and rejoice in it. it sounds strange to rejoice in your pain but when you realise that God knows you better than You know you and that He knows exactly what you would choose now, if given all the facts.
The facts about how we all must suffer either in this life or in Purgatory. The fact that if you had the choice along with a full eternal knowledge.
You would gladly choose to suffer here and you would rejoice in this wonderful opportunity.

I have and do suffer great physical pains, at times it seems far more than I can take.
But God promised that he would never give us more than we could take.

As a child I saw a movie where Christ was being nailed to the cross but
He didn’t cry out in pain when they drove the nail through His flesh.
I was only about 10 years old but I could see that it was a disappointment to
the soldiers when He did not start screaming and begging them to stop.
The next day I was serving at Mass and as I was kneeling below the
Large crucifix (around 25 foot high) I looked at our Lord up there and
asked Him that if He wanted, I could feel His pains in this life so He
would not need to cry out in pain in front of His tormentors.
I have lived, what many today would call, a miserable life.
recognisably in pain and poor health from about 14 onwards
but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. What a gift it has been.

Knowing what you know about Christ, ask yourself,
If you were at the scourging of our Lord, what would you do
to stop just one lash of the whip?
What would you suffer to ease His suffering?
What did He do to stop our eternal suffering?

Why would He give us such incredible gifts if He did not deeply love us?
He has given us what He gifted His own Son.

Look at the comparisons;
“Socially, I am an outcast and almost always have been for being a Catholic and trying to do the right thing.”
Socially, Jesus was an outcast and almost always has been for being the Christ and trying to do the right thing.
“I have been mocked out at school by both students and professors for my strong conservative stance.”
He was mocked and beaten by both soldiers and religious for His love of God.
“Mind you, I am not particularly outspoken about my political beliefs unless asked. And once that was discovered about me in a debate class at college, I was (physically) kicked, shoved, and no one ever eased up on me.”
Hmmmmm that sounds familiar too.
“Most of my family is estranged from me, because they dislike Catholics.”
Most of His brethren were estranged from Him, because they disliked Christ.
“I have no one. I am completely alone and I’m beginning to hate God for it. I never thought I’d say that, but there is only so much I can take.”
He prayed “Father, why hast thou forsaken me”
“I don’t want to go back to church and I don’t want to pray anymore because I am completely numb.”
He was so numb because of the amount of sins he was going to suffer for, that He sweated blood.
“So I ask you to please pray for me. I don’t know how much more I can take and my faith is dwindling.”

My prayer for you.
“Holy Lord if thou wilt remove this chalice from her:
but yet not her will, but thine be done. Amen.”

You are never alone.
Pete:tiphat:
Pray for the souls in purgatory, they need us and they will pray tenfold for you.

lovedance4ever,
Try listening to this audiobook by Viktor Frankl, “Man’s Search for Meaning” (on YouTube audio books: youtube.com/watch?v=DvM5fyjrUvY )
You are suffering a lot that seems inescapable, at least at present, and how can you know meaning in that? - Frankl will display that one can find meaning in the midst of the suffering and pain, and must find meaning (even those who have no pain or suffering like yours must find their meaning or they are as miserable as you perceive yourself).

It takes just over 4 hours to listen to it, all at once or at multiple sittings. While I encourage you especially to listen, it would be good for all the posters as well.

We have our Catholic faith, yet we all need to answer the question, “Why is it vital for me to keep this faith? What is God, my Lord, my Love, expecting, that He is expecting of me?” This could be my (your) meaning: Keeping on with life, not giving up, because I have to give my Lord what he is expecting, or he will not find it.

Jesus asked a strange question, “When the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?” Will he find it with me? with you? I cannot give up.

You’ve done the right thing in asking for prayer, lovedance4ever.

I hope you will continue checking on and posting to this thread and ask for more prayers. I’m serious. Do whatever you can to get an extra Hail Mary.

Though our circumstances are different, I kinda know how you feel. Comparing notes on who suffers more though really won’t help either of us. I won’t promise that things will be all better in a year or two. I’ll just say that God is worth it.

I’ll also say that I wish spiritualunity were still here … I would have advised you to send her a Private Message. And again, not to compare notes on who suffered more, but because I think she’d be better able to help you than I can.

Praying for you in these times of storm.

Holy Mary, Mother of God
spread the effect of grace of thy Flame of Love over all humanity
now and at the hour of our death
Amen

Jesus, I trust in You.

Gracious and merciful Father, please come to her assistance.

Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed are thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end.
Amen.

Lovedance4ever,

I am so sorry you are struggling through difficulties now. Remember Matthew Chapter 5 verses 10-12 “Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when they insult you and utter all kind of evil against you [falsely] because of me. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward will be great in heaven .”

Keep in mind you are loved by the King of the Universe, Have you looked into joining the young adult group at your parish? If you are going to college, it is likely that your school has a Newman center that will have a similar group. Please look into this if you had not done so already. You can participate in friendships with faithful people. The Lord does not want us to be alone, that is one of the reasons we go to mass to be together as a community of faithful.

Hail Holy Queen, Mother of Mercy, our life, our sweetness, our hope. To thee do we cry poor banished children of eve. To thee do we send up our sighs, mourning and weeping in this valley of tears. Turn then, most gracious advocate, thine eyes of mercy towards us and after this our exile, show unto us the blessed fruit of thy womb, Jesus. O clement, O loving, O sweet virgin Mary, pray for us, O Holy Mother of God, that we may be worthy of the promises of Christ.
Amen.

Here’s a link to find a Newman center in your college or area:
newmanconnection.com/

Praying that the Lord may watch over you and grant you all necessary graces for your trials. Also praying for the healing of your medical issues.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen

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