I’m not sure I’ll be completely clear in this post, mostly because I’m not sure of everything I’m thinking and feeling, but I’ll do my best.
Basically, over the past few months, I’ve lost my faith. I think that’s what I mean. Well, it’s not that I don’t believe in God, at least I think I still do, but it’s more that I just don’t really care. I don’t care that God says he loves me. I don’t even necessarily believe that he does. I don’t care about going to Mass or anything else that has any kind of “spiritual” bend to it.
I converted five years ago, and up until a few months ago, I was pretty devout. I even went on a pilgrimage to the Shrine in Alabama and to visit EWTN studios last September. I went to Mass regularly, confession regularly, had adoration times set aside, and was very active. Now, just thinking about doing those things turns me off.
I’m not sure what happened, and to be perfectly honest, I’m not totally sure I want it to change. Why I’m even posting this, I have no idea. I guess I just wanted to see if anyone else has had similar experiences and, if so, what you did about them.
I apologize if none of this makes much sense. Feel free to ask questions if you need some clarity, although I’m not sure if I’ll be able to make much more sense.
Thanks for the input.