Lost in Stupidity and Adultery


I am in an adulterous relationship which I am trying to end. The “other woman” is aware of my marriage and we both acted out of stupidity, selfishness and lust. She is hanging on to the relationship and I guess I am as well. I want to cut ties completely but one thing is stopping me. The “other woman” has stage 4 cancer and I can’t bring myself to end things at the present moment. I am obviously selfish but I think ending things right now would amplify everything she is going through. I need help and guidance or at least opinions. I would also like to know if this sin is forgivable in the eyes of God?


This is absolutely forgiveable. The only unforgiveable sin is closing yourself off to the Holy Spirit and God’s grace.

I know it will be hard, but the longer you wait, the longer you are still living in sin. Sin doesn’t have exceptions for sympathy. I am very sorry that she has stage 4 cancer, though. I would try your best to explain what it means in the eyes of your faith.

Pray for her healing, and ask God to give you the grace to come out of this. Ask Him to give her strength as well as she fights cancer. Letting go of sin is very hard, especially when there are heartbreaking consequences. In the long run, both of you will be blessed for repenting.


You need to end that relationship as it is a serious sin in the eyes of God. It is telling that you don’t say anything about your wife. Leave the relationship, repent and go to Confession, return wholeheartedly to your wife. Let God take it from there.
Of course the sin can be forgiven by God, but you’ve got to repent of it and make a firm decision to stop it.


Your sin is forgivable. Make an act of perfect contrtition and go to confession ASAP. Ending this is NOT selfish. Your eternal soul and hers depends on it. Tell her to repent if that is possible.


Stage 4 cancer or not, your wife deserves better than this.

As others have said, there is no exceptions to sin for sympathy.

Is this other woman Christian? If so I would encourage her to also seek reconciliation with God and explain that while you have no desire to harm her you also have no desire to further harm your wife.


Think of it this way. If it is her time to pass on would you want her to go while still being in this adulterous relationship with you?

End it now. Give her a chance to come to terms with that and hopefully repent of the sin before it is too late.

And of course you need to repent of this as well and make amends with your wife. She doesn’t deserve this.


You need to end it and get her to a priest…

Every act you commit with her is one more major sin on her soul for her approaching judgment.


Stop before the nightmare plummets even further down to another realm of Hell. What else would you expect us to say? To continue as is?


I can certainly see the struggle, what a tough situation. I will be sure to pray for you.

  1. Yes the sin is forgivable. Completely and absolutely, though a lot of healing will need to take place.

  2. NOT ending the adulterous relationship is actually far more cruel to the sick woman. She needs to find the love of God, His forgiveness, and His peace, things which will be extremely hard to do if she’s willfully continuing in sin. Breaking off the relationship IN LOVE with KINDNESS and explaining why and sharing the love of God is an act of mercy and true love. Both she AND your wife deserve your fidelity to your marriage.

  3. Are you a catholic? If so, I would strongly recommend confession. Either way though, you NEED to come clean to your wife about this. It’ll be awful, but it’ll be far worse if she hears about it through the grapevine. Unite with your wife, repent, and rebuild what you can with her. Nothing is impossible with God. If you come to her in repentance and sorrow for what you’ve done against her, you have a far better chance of winning her back.


I will say this - your title for this topic - is spot on.

Your playing with MAJOR fire -

I hope - for your / everyone’s / eternal sake - you do the right thing.




OK Amen then.
Gee some people expect validation here all the time.


Eternity is too much even without hell fire. You need to pray for her soul.


Im glad your conscious brought you here.

Selfishness is one thing, this is another. She is out of time. I don’t care if she is Catholic or not, you need to put her in a car, and the both of you need to make an emergency appointment with a priest. She only has a little time to repent, and you are culpable if she doesn’t get there.

Get her to say an act of contrition over and over again until she believes it, you too. Knock the adultery stuff off right now and get busy fixing this. You both are almost out of time. Call for the appointment TOMORROW!


I don’t know if others agree with me but perhaps you can be a brother to support her through this difficult time. If you cannot hold yourself without an outlet of lust then check out.

Your mission is clear, help her get to Heaven not Hell. I’ll keep you in my prayers.


Women don’t love pity. Your love is not sincere as it’s because she is sick. She doesn’t have you cause you are not free to have. You are not really in a relationship. You were using each other knowing it was never a relationship that could be. I think she has bigger things in her mind with stage 4 cancer than will you cut her off and go back to being with your wife. I know this is a catholic forum but honestly if you are going to step out first decide with your wife you don’t want to be together first. If you really wanted a relationship with someone other than your wife, more than just sex or someone to be a different person in front of, you would have done this. You hurt your wife, the other woman and your own self by this act. Break it off, get right with God, connect with your wife. You promised to be exclusive with her in front of God and witnesses.

Good luck. God forgives. I don’t know about your wife? I don’t know if you can forgive yourself? You can’t get right with God until you intend to stop this behavior with this woman. You are in a state of sin. It’s not a concluded sin.


Don’t be a friend or brother, besides attending her funeral. It isn’t healthy to violate boundaries. It will just confuse both of you and offend your wife.

Now figure out what you can do for your wife? What is her love language? Affirmation, touch, gifts, service… Start being a husband.


I don’t think her sin is on his head.


Chuck, I just looked at your profile and it says unsure under religion. I would still try to see a Catholic Priest, even if you are not Catholic.

Here is the act of contrition. Neither one of you have to be Catholic to use it. Please use it, both of you.

O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended you, and I detest all my sins, because I dread the loss of heaven and the pains of hell; but most of all because they offend you, my God, who are all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of your grace, to confess my sins, to do penance, and to amend my life. Amen.


Maybe. It depends on things we couldn’t possibly know. She is dying and is bound to be emotionally all over the place. He came here so that shows some concern, it is just hard to say.

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