Lost In the steps to remarry help please?


#1

Hello, Thank you all ahead of time for any answers! Ok here goes, I was married before in a wedding chapel in Las Vegas I am Catholic she was Baptist. In our marriage we never went to the same church. Well after a short number of years we ended in a civil divorce. Now 5 years later I find my self planing to get remarried but we want to be married in the Catholic church this time. As both me and the lady I will marry are both Catholic. I have tried to talk with my priest but do to his misadvise and lack of his of help to me before my marriage ended I have lost trust in him as a priest to up hold his thoughts and rules as a priest in marriage issues! My records seem to be lost other then where I was Baptized. So I find my self asking others here what steps I have to do now to marry again? Help Please? Thank you again!


#2

[quote="misinformed, post:1, topic:293305"]
Hello, Thank you all ahead of time for any answers! Ok here goes, I was married before in a wedding chapel in Las Vegas I am Catholic she was Baptist. In our marriage we never went to the same church. Well after a short number of years we ended in a civil divorce. Now 5 years later I find my self planing to get remarried but we want to be married in the Catholic church this time. As both me and the lady I will marry are both Catholic. I have tried to talk with my priest but do to his misadvise and lack of his of help to me before my marriage ended I have lost trust in him as a priest to up hold his thoughts and rules as a priest in marriage issues! My records seem to be lost other then where I was Baptized. So I find my self asking others here what steps I have to do now? Help Please? Thank you again!

[/quote]

If you were married outside the catholic church the priest himself can do the annulment. You just have to bring in copies of the marraige and divorce papers.As long as the marraige wasnt "blessed" by the church its a simple procedure.


#3

[quote="misinformed, post:1, topic:293305"]
Hello, Thank you all ahead of time for any answers! Ok here goes, I was married before in a wedding chapel in Las Vegas I am Catholic she was Baptist. In our marriage we never went to the same church. Well after a short number of years we ended in a civil divorce. Now 5 years later I find my self planing to get remarried but we want to be married in the Catholic church this time. As both me and the lady I will marry are both Catholic. I have tried to talk with my priest but do to his misadvise and lack of his of help to me before my marriage ended I have lost trust in him as a priest to up hold his thoughts and rules as a priest in marriage issues! My records seem to be lost other then where I was Baptized. So I find my self asking others here what steps I have to do now to marry again? Help Please? Thank you again!

[/quote]

A canonist would best answer your question, but since you are Catholic, the Church would see your past civil wedding as invalid due to the lack of canonical form, presuming it was performed without the bishop's permission. I believe that in order to marry in the Church, besides the Sacrament of Reconciliation of course, that you would need to present to the priest the civil marriage certificate and the divorce decree when you and your betrothed announce your intentions of Holy Matrimony.


#4

Yes it was performed without the bishop's permission or blessed. And before my marriage ended we, my ex-wife and me talked to the Priest. Being whom her father was in our city the Priest did not seem to want to help me in this time of need. Thank you all and God Bless!


#5

[quote="misinformed, post:4, topic:293305"]
Yes it was performed without the bishop's permission or blessed. And before my marriage ended we, my ex-wife and me talked to the Priest. Being whom her father was in our city the Priest did not seem to want to help me in this time of need. Thank you all and God Bless!

[/quote]

Even so, your priest would be the one to schedule a meeting with with your betrothed in order to initiate the wedding arrangements. You and your fiance will be the ministers at your own wedding, conferring the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony upon each other; the priest will be there to witness the event and to bless it.


#6

[quote="misinformed, post:4, topic:293305"]
Yes it was performed without the bishop's permission or blessed. And before my marriage ended we, my ex-wife and me talked to the Priest. Being whom her father was in our city the Priest did not seem to want to help me in this time of need. Thank you all and God Bless!

[/quote]

Your steps now depend on what happened when you and your ex talked to the priest before your marriage ended. You didn't 'have your marriage blessed' at that time, did you?

What the Church is interested in at this point is a new Certificate of Baptism from the parish where you were baptized. If things didn't get messed up along the way, that certificate will show where and when you were baptized & confirmed as well as any marriage that might be recorded -- because, you see, no matter where you are confirmed and contract a Church marriage, the information is relayed to the parish where you were baptized to enter into your baptismal record. If there is no marriage recorded you are in the clear.

As a previous poster said, present your new Certificate of Baptism, your marriage certificate (or copy of the 'record of marriage' that shows where you were married and who the officiant was) and the divorce decree to the parish priest. If there is no marriage recorded on the certificate of baptism, this will be submitted to the Marriage Tribunal for a quick 'yes, he's free to marry'. In some few dioceses in North America, the priest might be able to deal with this at the parish level but don't expect that.


#7

[quote="Phemie, post:6, topic:293305"]
Your steps now depend on what happened when you and your ex talked to the priest before your marriage ended. You didn't 'have your marriage blessed' at that time, did you?

What the Church is interested in at this point is a new Certificate of Baptism from the parish where you were baptized. If things didn't get messed up along the way, that certificate will show where and when you were baptized & confirmed as well as any marriage that might be recorded -- because, you see, no matter where you are confirmed and contract a Church marriage, the information is relayed to the parish where you were baptized to enter into your baptismal record. If there is no marriage recorded you are in the clear.

As a previous poster said, present your new Certificate of Baptism, your marriage certificate (or copy of the 'record of marriage' that shows where you were married and who the officiant was) and the divorce decree to the parish priest. If there is no marriage recorded on the certificate of baptism, this will be submitted to the Marriage Tribunal for a quick 'yes, he's free to marry'. In some few dioceses in North America, the priest might be able to deal with this at the parish level but don't expect that.

[/quote]

Ok no we did not have it blessed and I am member of the same parish of my baptism in 1973 . To the best I remember he blessed me and blessed her as God's children but not as husband and wife. Thank you for your info. and God Bless!


#8

[quote="misinformed, post:1, topic:293305"]
Hello, Thank you all ahead of time for any answers! Ok here goes, I was married before in a wedding chapel in Las Vegas I am Catholic she was Baptist. In our marriage we never went to the same church. Well after a short number of years we ended in a civil divorce. Now 5 years later I find my self planing to get remarried but we want to be married in the Catholic church this time. As both me and the lady I will marry are both Catholic. I have tried to talk with my priest but do to his misadvise and lack of his of help to me before my marriage ended I have lost trust in him as a priest to up hold his thoughts and rules as a priest in marriage issues! My records seem to be lost other then where I was Baptized. So I find my self asking others here what steps I have to do now to marry again? Help Please? Thank you again!

[/quote]

Are you in the U.S. (this is the OP)? If you are then you still have to have a tribunal declare the marriage invalid due to lack of form. Once done, they give you a piece of paper you take to your priest. A deacon can also help with this. It doesn't need to be a priest. There is a brief questionnaire, you give them a copy of your baptism certificate that is not more than 6 months old that must say "no notations" under marriages. You also give a copy of the marriage license and divorce decree (check your courthouse) and they have to have all pages of the divorce decree. You can include a copy of your conversion certificate, I was baptized in the Lutheran Church so I had to get a copy of my declaration of faith from the church I became Catholic in and baptism certificate. Our tribunal only charges 25 dollars for lack of form. I was very fortunate. It took me a week to round up paperwork, and it was back in under a month. Lack of canonical form is a paperwork review. They are usually back in a few weeks and I called my tribunal office to ensure that everything was in order.

Most churches will not let you even schedule a wedding on a church calendar without the paperwork saying you can marry in the Catholic Church. So you may want to jump on that. You can call the tribunal office in your Diocese to find out if you need a declaration for lack of form or not. They will tell you and then you can see if a deacon or a different priest can help you. It only takes about 1 hour to fill out the form.

A wedding is one of the biggest events in our lives. Do you really want a grumpy, unhelpful priest marrying you and your betrothed? I would shop around and find another priest for the wedding. You want someone outgoing, supportive and helpful so you can be comfortable talking about any concerns that come up and working toward building a great foundation for a life-long marriage. I changed parishes due to this. The priest left this summer but the way some of the parishioners backed up his bad treatment of me left a bad taste in my mouth. My new priest was shocked but was a good priest and didn't bad mouth the priest. He just said a comment that I can't repeat and it was a general observation that helped me feel that this new parish is where I belong. I still come to some events at my old parish because I truly love most of the members but the scars hurt too much to return. The new priest has went out of his way to be nice to me too, so I guess I need to pray. You are going to be working with this priest for a good 6-9 months. Give that some thought and prayer. He will be in your pictures, counsel you, advise you. It's OK to be careful who you trust.

Congratulations, I wish you blessings on your upcoming marriage,

Lorrie


#9

Thank you all for your help! God bless


#10

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