Lost Widow


#1

Hi all,
My fiance recently suddenly passed away . Up until that point I was very sure that my love life was one part of my life I had correct. (Had a lot of trouble with my career i wont go into) We were so happy together and very excited about starting a family etc in the future, we even prayed together. So I honestly thought that we had been blessed as a couple by God. I feel very lost right now, all the dreams and plans we were making have vanished, I dont know what im supposed to do? has anybody here had a similar experience? How did u get through it? Im crying out for help right now


#2

I am so sorry for your loss. :hug1: I’ve experienced losses, but nothing like what you are going through. For me it’s been a matter of taking things hour by hour, one day at a time. My heart aches for you.

I’ll pray for you in Adoration this evening.


#3

I am so sorry for the lost of your fiance’…:hug1: :hug1: :hug1:

I can’t imagine how hard it is to lose your spouse. I have no experience in this, although I have lost two children during pregnancy. I was helped most by not telling myself how things should be, but instead trying to accept what God’s plan was for my children’s lives. It was and is still very hard, and I still grieve for them…

A long time ago I picked up a book called By Grief Refined: Letters to a Widow by Alice Von Hildebrand. The book didn’t apply to me, but I wanted to read it to better understand the loss those around me had experienced (my grandmother was widowed after just six years of marriage). I still have to finish it, but the parts I read were very good.

Again, I am so sorry for your loss and you and your fiance’ are in my prayers. :gopray2:


#4

Thank you for sharing your story I am happy to pray for you. I wish I had words of comfort or advice to offer you. I have not experienced that loss, it must be profound. Do you have close friends and family near you? I am so very sorry to hear about what happened, you must be just shattered, I am so very sorry. Please take care as best as you can.


#5

Thank you for all your kind words… yes I do have family and friends, they have been fantastic. In the evenings i have people with me so im fine… its when everyone goes to work i feel a little lonely. Those are the times I need some help with


#6

I’m so sorry for your loss. And I would be surprised if you felt anything other than very lost right now.

You need to do what is correct for you - if you feel like company, then have company with you, if you don’t, then don’t. If you need to cry, then do so.

If you don’t want to talk about the situation then don’t and do remember if people ask you inappropriate questions, you don’t have to answer them.

Take care.


#7

I’ve read God takes the good ones to be with him, early on. Old sinners like me get to hang around here longer :wink:

May I recommend you get some Masses said for him, if you have not done so already.

A nice idea, if you can afford it, is to have Gregorian Masses said for him.

Not something I’ve done myself, but it seems like a good idea.


#8

I am so sorry for your loss and have some understanding of what you are going through.
My boyfriend, the man I had planned to marry, died at 24. He was diagnosed with cancer ( Ewing’s sarcoma) at 21 but went into remission and all seemed well. We were told that this cancer had about an 80% survival rate. He relapsed at 23 and was dead 6 months later. We were both postgraduate students at the time and had planned to get married when he graduated.
At the time I thought the pain would never end. I was angry at everyone, specially God for doing this to us. My family and friends were very understanding and supportative and helped me greatly through everything. Slowly, very slowly, things got better but it still took me a long time to start dating again. I felt that I would be betraying heim if I did. I met my husband at 28 and we married when I was 31.
I still think of Con often but now the pain has lessened and I mostly remember all the good times we had together. I thank God for the time we had together and I pray that he is safely in heaven and praying for my husband and me.
I know my story is not exactly the same since I knew Con had very little chance of survival when he relapsed and the cancer had spread to his chest. I cannot imagine the shock it would have been if he had suddently died.
My prayers for you, your fiance and his family.

Gearoidin


#9

Oh my heart! Dear one…live through this and reap the wisdon and hope, bitter though the harvest may be at first. Time and tide, good lady, time and tide.

I know from my own bitter experiences, that joy and hope will rise again, stubborn as weeds, and as beautiful (weeds are indeed beautiful!) And from there, once more life will be worth the living. Forgive my awkwardness, but this is no topic to be slick about.

My great wishes to you, and if I can lend you any strength, consider me volunteered.


#10

I don’t have any words of comfort:(. Anything I try to say comes out sounding hollow. So I will pray for you. Pray for you to find the strength to go on, to keep your faith, and to continue to have loved ones around you to help you through this devastating time.


#11

Wow - deeply sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine your pain so I offer prayers for your peace and rest in God.

What do you do and how do you keep going? You believe whole heartedly that God has a plan for you. Something very special in mind that only you can fulfill. Your fiancé is now in a place praying for you and for your spiritual success.

You believe that the best is yet to come according to God’s plan - even though your heart is not in agreement because you are grieving. How difficult this will be, but you are never alone in your grief.

You go to church and you pray, because ONLY God can grant peace and comfort.

We will also pray for you to succeed here at CAF. There is a strong prayer group here that can join with you in prayer.

May you find peace.


#12

I’m so sorry for your loss. My best friend in the whole world - the man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with - died very suddenly. I felt like I’d “fallen down a rabbit hole” - everything was suddenly so awful and wrong, and there seemed to be no rational way to explain it.
The only thing that got me through it was the fact that I was currently enrolled in school. I knew I had to get through it. But more than that, school gave me something to do, something to put the energy I didn’t think I had into. Once I found that I hadn’t fallen apart, that I hadn’t gone nuts or gotten committed, things slowly began to get easier.
It sounds like you might be alone by yourself all day. A lot of other people are lonely and hurting in this world as well. He might be gone, but God needs you here - surely to help the rest of us left behind here. Maybe you could get involved in somehow helping others … volunteering at a school or a homeless shelter? As you give yourself to others, you’ll see that you have so much to give (even though you probably feel totally wrung out and lost). That helped me see that I could keep going and start healing.
I hope these are the right words. It’s hard to know, especially over a medium like this. I will pray for you and your fiance as well.


#13

I am so sorry for your loss, I cannot imagine what you are going through. Ask for the intercession of the saints, especially Mary, our Mother. She understands your pain and lonliness very well. She lost her husband and must have been very pained. She must have felt so lonely that day after her beloved Son died.
But your Resurrection will come, just keep close to God.

I will say a special prayer for you and your fiance when I go to Adoration this week.

God bless you!


closed #14

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