Lost


#1

I really don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I’ve hit a spiritual wall. Im suffering from a lack of faith that I don’t know how to fix. Inside I feel unloved by God, by Jesus and Mary because of how bad I have been in my life. I feel like I’ll never belong to the Holy Family of Heaven.

My life seems to be filled with disappointment after disappointment; screw up after screw up. I was emotionality abused by people at school and at home. My parents gave no spiritual guidance and no support. I was often yelled at and sometimes made fun of(yes by my family). So you could say I’m not use to love or mercy really.

Also not helping is the fact that I work a really hard job, have no degree or any idea what talents God has given me(more use to knowing what I do wrong), I have very little money and no real friends to speak of at this time. And ive developed metabolism and digestive issues. Im convinced this is the payback and temporal punishment for the life of sin I lived before. Now I go to weekly confession, weekly mass, weekly adoration, and daily rosary. But I can’t shake the feeling that this is an eternal darkness. That Jesus sacrifice was for others and not me. That The Trinity will cast me away forever.

I read the chicken soup catholic books and saw stories of people with great faith in hard times. How I wish I had faith like them. How do I get this faith? How can I trust the Lord 100% no questions asked? How do I handle things I don’t understand like indulgences? How do I keep from going to pieces like I am tonight?:frowning:


#2

Your illnesses are not punishment for anything you may have done. Haven’t you noticed that bad things happen to good people too. Cut back on some of your devotions, not mass of course, and concentrate on a few social aspects of your life. You can try volunteering somewhere. You will meet like minded people who may become friends. You will find your mood improving just by helping others. Isolating yourself with your private devotions will only make you dwell on the bad things in your life. You need to get out and be more social. I know it’s hard but I’m sure with little effort you can find places that need your help at this time of year.


#3

Perhaps talking to a holy priest for spiritual direction will help.

Do not think of yourself as “lost”.

You are unconditionally loved by God!


#4

Praying to the Holy Spirit to give you guidance, direction, strength, fortitude & wisdom in your time of need. Praying for your health & recovery.


#5

The fact that you are worried about your faith in God says to me that you believe in Him. Even faith the size of a mustard seed is still considered faith. We all have those times that we doubt our faith.

Exodus 14:14New International Version (NIV)

14 The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.

God bless!


#6

God bless you Drew for your faithfulness and practicing your faith even when you are not “feeling” it. This is an experience all the saints have had.

You are under attack by the evil one, who is a liar and a murderer from the beginning. He wants to steal your birthright of joy.

One of the best ways to fight the spiritual battle is the same way Jesus did - quoting scripture to the devil. You need to really read, meditate, and memorize your Scriptures so that when you start getting those negative thoughts you can throw back some good bible verses.


#7

Amen!~

Mary.


closed #8

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