Loved ones in Hell

It occured to me that everyone in Hell is someone’s Father, Mother, Brother, Sister etc. How do we attain complete happiness in Heaven knowing our loved one is in Hell? Do you suppose God might take the memory of them away?

I’m sure it’s a mystery but I was wondering if anyone knew of a church Father or Theologian that had perhaps expounded upon this topic/issue?:slight_smile:

I’m sure loving God completely…and loving His justice we would see it as righteous and have no difficulties in there condemnation. We can’t love them more than God loved them. I’m thinking that as His love ends for them, who is the source of all love; our love would end for them too.

Any thoughts?

It is quite ironic for me that a Catholic person think that s/he is better than God. Why you bother when God does not?

My parents weren’t Catholic and didn’t go to church, although they had Christian beliefs. They were the most wonderful people, loving, generous, always helping, always forgiving, always welcoming, always kind.

God moves in mysterious ways. I have faith that they will not have been cast down.


If one discovers the eternal fate of a loved one via private revelation or upon entering Heaven, he should not despair in God’s just judgment, recalling that the fate of this loved one was decided by this person’s own accord.

The loving relationships in this world are infinite and stupid compared to the vast oceans of love which fills God and the angels. Our love felt toward offspring, siblings, and parents is imperfect and darkened, but it is enough for us to recognize the purer love above, the source of love itself. Reject that source, and we reject everything, including our loved ones.

 If a soul is damned, it means that they hated the core of what made them lovable; the damned are twisted remnants of what the person was, deprived of all the good of being. Just as a dead body doesn't resemble the person, the thing that the soul has been reduced to would simply be not who we recall. The damned can't rejoice in the good fortune of the redeemed; they would, if they could, see all those they loved in life condemned to misery with them.

I have a thought :slight_smile: Have had the same musings. I read somewhere that the Church never speculates on who might be in Hell. No matter how bad the person might have been, God’s mercy may have saved him. We will not know until we get there. Hell might actually be empty of humans.

I can’t imagine anyone coming into contact with God or Jesus and not be so overwhelmed not to believe and cry out for mercy. I would imagine that person would willingly go into Purgatory ready to learn what he didn’t learn here on earth.

Of course with all this thinking, I’m brought to consider the plight of Hitler etc. Does this include him and others like him? Yeah. But if we make it to heaven, I think we are in such a state of wonderous bliss, we no longer care about seeing Hitler etc. in hell.
To harbor those feelings would not endear us to God. Guess we’d be in Purgatory until we get over seeking revenge.

Actually, God did and does “bother”. He came into the world, Jesus is his Name among us, and he sacrificed his life to his Father, to enable us to have the life of resurrection from the dead in eternal happiness. That is why we bother, not being better than God, but being LIKE him, like our Father.

That is the Official Good News (Gospel) that the Catholic Church is announcing to you, Bahman, that God has established his Kingdom, with himself as our King, sacrificing himself for us and rising from death to make us alive also. And it is for you, too, that he came. Jesus is also your King, having done what he does to lead you to faith and hope in him.

In the resurrection we will not relate to people the way we do here, and we have a hint at what that means when Jesus says, “In the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage”. Marriage at his time was a means of financial security for retirement and old age. But in heaven, there will be no anxiety about future good or evil. We will know provision of all good from our King, our God. And when we see those in Hell, we will see goodness all around them, yet they see it as fire and do not want it. They only want to sin but have no place to hide and sin, no satisfaction, even though all around them is goodness from God. And how can we be fully happy while seeing this? Because we see God not doing violence to them, forcing them to trust him when they do not want to, ever. When they see us, they will not envy us, as if they wanted the same happiness they see us having, but will think we are fools, settling for God when we could have sin. Someone in Hell will not look at us and see a loved one, because they have no love in them, only unsatisfied desires, hungers, lusts, and impossible schemes for satisfying their own desires. And you will see this, see them as they really are. You will not see with sentimentality of what “might have been”, but see what really is.

Bahman, Who on here thinks that they are better than God? Wondering how one can experience happiness in Heaven while a loved one is in Hell, has been a question that everyone, including theologians, have struggled with. Yes, God is “bothered” about it, which is why He died on the Cross for our sins so that we wouldn’t have to spend eternity in damnation. I’m confused by your comment…

To the OP:

I know there are some people that question the validity of what is known as Near Death Experiences; however, I remember reading an account of a man whose heart stopped for a few minutes on the operating table. He said the most profound part of his experience was the experience of God’s Love for him. He said he was so overwhelmed and enraptured by being loved that he momentarily forgot everyone and everything else. It was so complete and intense that it was like every molecule of his being was loved individually to the highest degree.

Here on Earth, we enjoy loving and being loved in return, maybe to the point of feeling we would willingly die for a person if a situation called for it. Imagine meeting that love at it’s Souce and encountering ourselves as the object that is loved by all the intensity of that Source. In the case of someone who goes Hell, I believe that they encounter this same Love, and yet they willfully reject it. Our sins harden our hearts and turn them away from God. I forget what saint it was, but it was of his opinion that God created Hell, not because he hated sinners, but because it would cause the reprobates more suffering if they were forced to live in His Light. (Of course, this doesn’t mean that they don’t suffer in Hell. They absolutely do!) I think this is why it’s so important to pray and fast for our loved ones to be receptive to the Light of the Holy Spirit while they are still here.

Couple of thoughts here, might sound mean at first but bear with me. At the General Judgement, the Elect will join God in condemning the Damned. We will be at one with His Will. At the G.J. every evil thought, word, deed, and secret desire will be made clear and present to all and in context. We will see why the Elect are saved and why the Damned are the Damned. Once the Sheep see things as God sees them, and then looking on from His right to those at His left, the Goats who have in the very end willed to succumb to the temptation to reject God, the Sheep will be filled with righteous indignation. The Damned have chosen to clothe themselves in their sin, to become one with it. They will be at this point, entirely evil and profane regardless of our relationship to them. Charity will be of no use as they have eternally rejected not only God’s good Will, but your own as well. Where there is no Charity, there is only hatred and the Damned wallow in hatred of God and self and beckon all to join in hating them. And so, God ratifies their choice, in a terrible “Thy will be done. You choose not our love, and instead accept our rejection. Be Gone!”. And all the Elect with Him, those Holy Sheep, will all together say, “Amen!”.

This is powerful. Better hope we make it then.

I like to believe that “Hell might actually be empty of humans.” I doubt it though!

If very holy parents have a son who commits murder & in turn is killed while shooting at the police…they may have to accept the fact their son had no time to repent and may be lost for all eternity. :bighanky:

That is very true.

However, God’s Mercy knows no bounds so we can only imagine what effects the prayers of his parents had on his soul in that split moment before death. It wouldn’t be useful or beneficial for anyone to accept that their loved one is damned, as it would lead a person to deep despair. It would be more fruitful to dwell on God’s Mercy and His readiness to employ all possible means to help a soul, even if a situation looks hopeless to us mere humans.

:thumbsup: It never pays to be negative, especially where God is concerned…

Heaven cannot be a sad place to be, so if I get there, my friends and family who are not there will not pull me down. If I do not get there, my friends and family who are there cannot pull me up.

So if YOU, Layp3rs0n, happen to be on the side of the DAMNED at the G.J., will you, Layp3rs0n, still be hunky dory with this?

Guess it doesn’t matter, right?

So it seems that the “Elect” will lose all caring about the “Damned”, will this be after they find out that they are among the “Elect” or will it also be during their life on earth that they stop caring for their fellow "made in the Image and Likeness of God, human beings?

Ever thought that God cared enough about ALL of God’s creation that God came up with a Plan that somehow or another includes ALL OF GOD’S CREATION?

Or don’t you think that God is capable of doing something that catholic?

I believe you are judged after your death. If you are so into your ego and deny God you will condem yourself to hell. If, on the other hand, you die and see there is a life after this and cry out to Christ, you will be shown mercy. You will go to Purgatory and you might be there a very long time but you are not in hell.

The greatest commandments give me hope.

When Jesus spent his time on Earth, he would have lived by the greatest commandments; this would have been the greatest way he could respond to each and every situation in his life. But how did Jesus love all his neighbours as he loved himself, Judas who betrayed him, the soldiers who nailed him to the cross?

But it seems that nothing, and no one should stand in the way of Jesus loving all his neighbours as he loved himself, and we know that he prayed on the cross, ‘forgive them Father for they know not what they do’

Why do you assume that OP thinks that he/she is better than God.

The OP asked a valid question.

I used to ask the same question. Then I read the diary of St. Faustina. When Jesus told her about the Chaplet of Divine Mercy, He said that the loss of souls plunges Him into a deadly sorrow. However God though that He is He cannot help them when these souls turn their backs on Him.

So yes, God grieves when souls are lost. It’s losing a loved one forever.

It’s not a question of being negative…Jesus, Himself speaks of lost sinners such as the rich man in eternal torment while Lazarus, the beggar was in the bosom of Abraham.

The Bible doesn’t say everyone will eventually be forgiven & be in heaven. Even though God is Merciful.

First there was no sacrifice. He died on the cross and he has a better life in heaven. Could you tell me what sacrifice is done?

Second, sacrificing your life for sins of other is a nonsense story. Sacrifice is meaningless if it is done to clean your sins since a sin if you really believe on it comes with self-shame and nothing can clean this from your mind. The story of Adam and Eve which is the source of original sin also is problematic if you think through.

Third, how God/Jesus could die? Apparently, Father, Jesus and holy spirit are same.

Forth, who resurrected Jesus/God if God is already dead?

First, there is no guarantee to have sinless life if you have free will even if you are in Heaven. Satan is an example hence the promise given about a life without anxiety about good and evil is false.

Second, why separate people in different places? Yes God and heaven are holy and sinful people cannot be in presence of God. Then how so God came to earth, an unholy place full of sinful people?

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