When my marriage broke down I hit rock bottom. Was in debt, had to put up with an angry ex, etc etc.
By Faith I got through. When I fell on the floor it was upon reflection not such a bad place to have gotten too, because by applying Faith, and there were many times that was tested, I lost Faith, but each test gave me strength and molded my Faith because slowly bit by bit, God pulled me slowly up off the floor. As I tried to keep my Faith, he proved to me in a number of ways he was still there, His love was still there, His forgiveness was still there if I repented, and he helped me in some ways financially.
I went through a stage of really fearing the Lord and feeling wrath inside of me, but I also experienced God’s love. I realised that the things I was going through on earth were teaching me strength, patience, Faith, Love, Hope, strength, firmer ability to believe in God’s assistance, compassion, humility, knowing what temptation was and how to fight that, and many things.
As I went back to Confession more and more, my soul was growing. I didn’t realise that until recently. As I fell down and God forgave me in Confession, behind my back my soul was climbing. One day I experienced His love in a strong way.
I have realised that my soul knows the Love of God, but the darkness in me does fear the Lord, and that is a good thing, because I am propelled to keep going back to Confession so that slowly God removes the darkness from me bit by bit and so my soul gets the opportunity to be were she most enjoys. With the Father’s forgiveness and Love.
If you are prepared to climb and keep moving towards God with Faith, Hope and Love, you will find in time I hope what I have, absolute Love and a greater understanding of why it is important to fear the Lord. He Loves you and wants you to reconcile with Him and let Him remove the bits of darkness in you, and you can do this by going to Confession and staying true to Him in your heart. You begin to know God as a Father, as a parent, and as Love. Fear the darkness that holds you back from reconciling with Him.
Many times the darkness tried to get me to give up in finding what my soul was looking for. I had no idea what she was looking for. All I knew this was a pretty yuk existence, and many many times I felt like there was no point, I am a rotten sinner, and I am going to hell, and what is the point in going to Confession if I am still a sinner etc. But to know the Love of the Father and to be able to better understanding the aspects of who He is, was absolutely worth it. It was worth all the horrible experiences, all the heartache of this human existence. It was worth all the trials, the periods of suffering and fatigue, the periods I sat on the floor and cried and gave up.
My soul found the Father’s Love and she finally realised she is loved and to have that Love flow back and forwards between our souls and the Father’s is like being in Heaven at times.
Go to regular Confession, keep your Faith, let Him occupy your thoughts more, place your burdens into His Hands with trust and belief, and let your soul slowly climb and fly.
Believe in Him and he will assist you to understand why you have been given the burdens you have been given, and what those burdens will teach you and how they have helped you. For everyone this takes some time, and for some longer then others, and for some they will give up and stagnate. Know the darkness that is holding you back from allowing your soul to truly experience the embrace of his Forgiveness and Love.
Hell is for the unbelievers. Heaven is obtainable for those who believe in His forgiveness, repent, get up off the floor and try again. And you might fall many times, but as you fall and go to Confession, your soul is growing closer to Him each time.
If you think you are doomed, that flies in the face of the other aspects of God. He is forgiveness and He is Love. You just got to want to reach out for that and have some Faith in yourself and in Him.