[quote="ZDHayden, post:6, topic:228578"]
I find this line interesting. Which men are you talking to I wonder? In my experience, each day is not just a battle but a war, with many battles therein. Treaties are signed in your sleep. The only humans I have met in my life who does not live in constant war were corpses. Men and women, though our battles are different, are no greater or lesser than the other.
I will say that MissMarlene's proposal, besides being Puritanistic (hey, no offense, but it's true), would work, but it would work like an atomic bomb. I tried such - and my relationship nearly ended. Not because my girlfriend is immoral (gorsh no!) but because, even though she understood and accepted the reason why, she still was afraid I no longer loved her. For her, the kisses and hugs are something she never got as a child - it is comforting for her to have them finally received and to have them taken away reminds her of the lack of comfort she was given (still is given) by her parents.
What I am doing is saying - caution. Take caution in any advice dealing with relationships. You know you and your girlfriend better than anyone. Is it truly lust, or is it an admiration of her beauty and the emotions which attend her? It took a while to adjust for me to the difference, but there is a difference. Lust is, according to my priest-confessor, the desire to have sexual relations.
Have a good morning.
Long gazes into each other eyes, hand holding, hugs, small kisses on the forhead, cheeks and hands, and words of love and appreciation, comfort and acceptance. Plus both persons knowing that they mutually want to spend their life together and that they both wish to protect each other from harm... is that puritan?
Well, for me its the ideal.
This guy is saying that he lusts after his girlfriend when they kiss. So what, you think he should just kiss her more or continue.. is that your advice? Don't you know that the nature of lust is objectification? He didn't say that he desired to sleep with her, but that he lusts. There is a difference.
Don't you know that arousal leads most people to loosing their head and that the line between control and loss of control is very thin? Believe me, I have met guys that were all for chastity the one moment, and then when you share an intense kiss they start wanting to pull off your clothes. these men were not bad, by the way, They just didnt have the virtue of self-knowledge.
There are more love languages than one, my friend. If you think French kissing is necessary in order to show a woman that you truly love her, then I simply dont agree.
Now to your question. I don't know where you come from, but when I say that most men are not used to any kind of battle, I mean that most people in the Western world are weaker in their will than the average people just 50 years ago.. these were the words of an exorcist priest I know, by the way..
The Christians who eg. seriously fast or otherwise discipline their bodies are few, and most of us are not very good at saying no to ourselves when it comes to sacrificing pleasures, desires...
We are used to getting to eat and drink, warmth, doing hobbies etc when and how we want. We are not trained to deny ourselves.
I have talked to many Christians about this in my own country and they all agree with me that a culture of instant gratification where we have been spoiled does not train us well for self-denial.
Hope that makes my point a bit more clear.