Lust, French Kissing and "making out"


#1

A bunch of threads have recently somewhat addressed this, but I thought I’d try to be more specific.

i.e.
forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=42744

I admit that I do “make-out” with my girlfriend, but not real heavy or intense anymore since I had my accident (brakes failed on my Honda CRF80, interesting story if you want me to tell sometime) and we kinda found it better holding back. We find it much better to just cuddle up on a couch and remove such distractions. Oh, and we dont french kiss as we dont feel like slobering all over each other.

I personally cant find anything wrong with kissing, I guess, as long as youre not all over each other, dryhumping or something and/or doing it only for the pleasure of it and as an expression as affection. Yes, such kissing might/does sexually arouse, but not so much that I’d call it lust. Holding hands or kissing on the forehead can (and does) the same thing after all…or even just being with your un-married partner.

I dont mean to excuse sinful behavior, but I dont understand how this sort of temptation is different than going to a club or bar or something.


#2

It depends, I guess . . . you know your own limitations. I make out with my fiance, also . . . you just have to avoid the situation where you have the opportunity to commit sin, I suppose, but there’s a fine line.


#3

I guess my only question is, why get as close to that line as possible and risk crossing it? Why not keep a safe distance?


#4

I understand that completely. You’re right. It’s just difficult is all I can really say.


#5

hmmm…I think I might get it…

Certainly different people have different risk tolerances. Put me in a bar, I’m not going to drink but put an alcoholic in there during his first week of AA and youre asking for trouble. Same with kissing I guess. It’s not a big deal for Absalom! (and congratulations btw), but 15 year old HS freshman generally go at it like rabbits (I chaperoned at my cousins HS dance last year, yeah…not fun).

I think we’re at a safe distance since I crushed my ribs last summer. Kinda hard to get too excited when the slightest pressure on your torso results in mind-numbing pain. Breathing deeply hurt for that matter, so there was little room for messing around.


#6

[quote=Absalom!]I understand that completely. You’re right. It’s just difficult is all I can really say.
[/quote]

I used to think chastity meant celibacy so I figured since I was keeping my clothes on I was fine. My girlfriend went to a Theology of the Body lecture by Christopher West and she came back with her eyes opened and she explained it to me. That helped us understand what chastity really meant. I have so much more of an appreciation for marital love now that I wouldn’t want to dimish that in any way. It’s definitely hard. But what part of our faith isn’t?

Check out, Matt. 7:13-14.


#7

I suppose I might mean something a little tamer by making out than some folks, but I don’t deny that sometimes we have been a little too into eachother. I realize that there are things involved in “making out” that are lustful and put the body ahead of the person, but kissing is, for me, a way of expressing love. I can’t help but (try to) walk the tightrope.


#8

Yeah, kissing is fine. I think it’s just when it gets all passionate or hot and heavy you gotta watch out, you know what I mean?


#9

Yes, ty, I think I get it now.


#10

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