What Is meant by lust .I have had some situations in the past while watching tv and seeing a girl on facebook clothed of course and thought they looked beautiful and thought they would be girlfriend material. Both were single as far as I can tell. I didn’t confess lust but I am afraid it might of been deep down. my question is if it was lust and I didn’t confess it do I need to confess sacrilege . I am so afraid of commiting a sacrilege . I know I can’t be perfect but where is the line between what is lust and what isn’t I can’t be a hermit and live away from women forever.

It’s actually moving that you care so much. I haven’t always been a great Catholic but I’ve been studying to be more aware of issues like these and I believe the answer is if you see them for the beauty that God created in them it’s no sin at all and rather a good thing. God made us males to find looking at females to be pleasurable but when it begins to create an obsession is when it gets bad. I believe that lust is simply desiring them in more of a sexual way that a relationship or marriage sort of way.

p.s. I once read scripture dealing with this, I wish I could remember the exact quote but I remember bits and pieces every time I see a girl I think is cute but it says something about looking at a woman too long and how you should look away before it becomes something else.

It is without doubt a tricky area and many others have problems with it. I have come to terms with it in this way. I sometimes can’t help noticing that a woman is attractive but as long as I don’t allow myself to dwell on it I don’t think that it’s lust or that it’s a sin.
The worst is when it happens unexpectedly, it kind of takes me aback. I’m afraid it’s just the way males are built and we have to deal with it as best we are able. I don’t think that you are anywhere near committing sacrilege, though.

Fascinating thoughts, and it’s incredible that you take this so seriosly. But no, in order to sin, according to doctrine, you must fully choose to sin. Thus, by definition, we cannot sin in our subconscious. Don’t worry that your natural attraction is a sin. In fact, even conscious lust is only a sin if you deliberately choose to entertain it rather than make an effort to banish the thoughts (easier said than done.)

“Consent is the application of the appetitive movement to something that is already in the power of him who causes the application. Now the order of action is this: First there is the (1) apprehension of the end; (2) then the desire of the end; (3) then the counsel about the means; (4) then the desire of the means.” (Summa Theologica, I-II, q. 15, a. 3)

Sin is “an utterance, a deed, or a desire contrary to the eternal law.” (CCC 1849) Consent is the event when a sin is acted (thoughts are actions in terms of morality). Consent can only be commited by the desire of the means, the last of the four in the order of action quoted above.

  1. Apprehension is your understanding of what it is you want.
  2. Then you desire the object you understand.
  3. Then you proceed in your mind how to achieve it (the means)
  4. Then finally you desire to carry out the plan.

This series of thoughts it the ways of lust can be quick. Hence, the importance of grace to slow these motions, there by which we receive the help from on high not proceed to number 4, which would be the point of a commission of sin of lust.

From Jason Evert and Chris Stefanick’s “Raising Pure Teens”.

Lust is a sinful and selfish desire to use another for ones own gratification. Sexual desire, on the other hand, is a biological urge that takes on a moral value depending on how one responds to it.

Contrary to popular belief, love is not a feeling, though feelings often accompany it. Simply put, love is willing and doing what is good for someone else.

So the desire that can be created in the presence of a beautiful woman has to be subordinated to love. And love is willing and doing what is good for someone else. Ask yourself whether you are in any position to love a woman as a husband at the moment? Do you have a job? Do you care about her at all if she were to get pregnant? Do you understand that the purpose of sexual desire is both unitive and procreative? Are you ready and able to care for children, to raise them up? Do you understand the sacrifices involved in this great work? Do you care about her relationship with God? Her immortal soul? Her emotional and physical health.

God bless,

**“Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes.” **(CCC #2351)

When you looked at these women, did you just see them as possible girlfriends, or did you seek sexual pleasure from them?
Why would these women make great girlfriends?

Because they could satisfy your selfish desires, or because you want to show them your love?
When you treat women like an object, that’s when you are sinning. They’re not objects for us to just look at, they are a beautiful creation of God.

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