Is it lustful to find someone you don’t love physically attractive? What exactly would the dividing lines be between lust or thinking somebody has a nice body?
What I notice and I’m certainly no expert on this, is that looking at someone and noticing they’re attractive and going on and forgetting about it isn’t lust. But if you started looking and fantasizing and forming situations in your head to varying degrees; that can be lust.
If we want someone just for their body that would be a sin. We are trying to be like Jesus Christ and Jesus Christ wants our souls. So we should want each other’s souls. By that I mean love each other for what is in us. If you are physically attracted to someone then maybe you should find out if you are spiritually attracted to them as well, or try to find out. If you are not then instead of lusting for them sacrifice your own wanting and pray for them every time these thoughts enter you. If you do not care to truly seek someone’s heart to bring them to God like the Lord seeks yours to bring you closer to Him, then you can’t truly love that person. However, always remember to seek the Lord’s heart first and the most and he will discern everything for you. Do everything in the name of Jesus Christ.
Before I was baptized and became Catholic I think I found most woman I looked at way too desirable even though I was married, I’m really ashamed to admit that. But now with Gods grace I’m able to look at an attractive woman and not think that way. I think a good definition of lust would be excessive desiring. I honestly think you will know in your heart where the dividing line is. I think another habit that gets us in to trouble is when we see a nice looking woman we want to look her up and down. I try real hard not to. It does help.
CCC 2351 Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes.
This topic reminds me of a quip by Adrian Plass, the British Christian writer. He wrote in one of his books that if he took Christ’s parable about tearing out his eye or cutting off his hand if it caused him to sin, he’d have been a headless eunuch years ago.
I think we all make furtive sneaks at the other sex, particularly if they’re attractive. But just looking is not lust.
Lust. That is hard in this day and age!
Looking at a gorgeous woman is very hard not to do! I have confessed about doing this.
It is very hard not to look. I pray that God will help in this matter.
We are only human and i am sure that God understands and tries to help us.
God created man and womens bodies to be admired, it is truly a beautiful creation, I see quite a few women with nice bodies on a regular basis, nothing wrong with admiring Gods handiwork!
Important to recognize those that say the human body is somehow dirty or should not be looked at, or is pornographic, etc. people like that have an agenda of their own and its NOT from God, from the enemy instead, they try all they can to make Gods creations look dirty and unappealing, they cover their kids eyes, tell them not to look, tell them its nasty, etc. LOL Its sad they dont realize Satan is laughing with joy over this.
IMO, it becomes lustful when you actually try to do something with that person to satisfy your lust, such as try to set up a date with them in order to sleep with them, etc.
It is very possible that one being in the state we’re in; might not recognize the difference between looking and lusting. At least not until we are in a state of grace and the Lord Jesus and the Father, holy spirit and Blessed mother is dealing with us. I know I was in grace for a long time and doing the rosary daily. I believe Mary or someone or thing was dealing strongly with me and cuss words. I know I am not to do this and I fail.
When your thoughts become impure and you willfully take pleasure in them, when your thoughts violate the sacredness of the conjugal act and all that leads up to it, which is reserved exclusively for married couples. Gods bless you.
It seems there are many mixed interpretations about the action of lusting. I understand what’s wrong about it, but I’m still having dificulty discerning what is a lustful thought (I understand that lustful actions involve seeking sexual pleasure because of ones body). There is beauty in the physical forms that god gave us, but if one admires that beauty (say by finding a woman’s figure nice), wouldn’t it be considered taking pleasure in ones body? If that’s what lust is. Or is it simply the seeking of that pleasure, phyically or mentally, that is lust?
Thank you all for your guidance and replies.
When we willfully seek sensual pleasure that is reserved exclusively between a husband and wife, we are lusting. Seeing a woman as pretty is not sinful or lustful, unless one sees her in a way that violates the honor and respect that is due to her body and the sacredness of all that leads to union with another in a marriage. God bless you.
Thats simple, if we just look with our eyes and admire Gods creation, that is fine, but once we take it a step further, and try ANYTHING to actually get physical contact, whether its asking for their phone number, to call for a date, to hitting on them, etc…that is lust imo. Nothing wrong with JUST looking and admiring though, but alot of people cant stop there, they arent content with looking, it tempts them too much and they MUST act on it.
Thanks so much, Billcu1.
Giant, I have also had the same question. I struggle, at least I think, or so I’ve been told, that I suffer from scrupulosity.
As I read through, I knew one of the answers was going to be the cathecism’s definition of what lust is, but unfortunately for me, that doesn’t truly define it. It is like describing a color to a blind person. (NOT trying to be mean, just stating a way to describe what I’m feeling).
Sure a disordered desire is bad, but how does that translate? Does it mean looking a woman over? Does it mean seeing a woman come into view, turning your head, then looking back at her because she is attractive? Does it mean if you look at certain body parts? What if thoughts “pop” into my head, because my brain has been (unfortunately) trained to be conditioned that way? Is that mortal? It just happens that sexual thoughts pop in there. I am not asking them to pop in there. Someone explained it to me like, hey, DON’T think of an elephant. What happens? Bet you thought of an elephant. What if I instantly replace an thought (unwillful) with thoughts of my wife?
I pray and ask that Jesus will conquer (His part), and I am acting (my part) to simply treat women like women, not like objects. It is working, but it won’t happen overnight.
Today, during a meeting at work, one of the women leading the group had a low cut shirt and she kept demonstrating the product (of the meeting) right in front of her chest. I prayed for her and myself, but in order to know what I needed to know for work, I had to look at what she was doing, which was right there in front of her chest. My mind just kept going to random thoughts (they weren’t specifically with her, but maybe words running through my head… it’s really hard to explain). I make sure I don’t wander into something like fantasizing about her. But of course when a woman who dresses inappropriately walks into my vision, being male, my hormones kick in and thus I get thoughts. How in the world do you stop that? Is that lust? AHHHH!
Yes, I know, go see a priest. I have, but the answers I’ve been given don’t seem to really answer the question. They all seem to skirt the issue. I’d really like some deep insight into this. And yes, I know God made woman for man… That’s the problem.
Sorry, I meant to say, God bless you!