Ok, I have always thought that I had a problem with lust, namely, having lustful thoughts based upon seeing random women on the street, on TV, in catalogs and magazines, etc. But, lately, I have been reading more about this and am now wondering if my reaction is not lust.

So, if I see a lovely woman on the street, I think “Wow, she is pretty. My wife is pretty; I want to make love with my wife.” Or, watching a R-rated movie, I may see a scene with frontal nudity. And I often think “She has lovely breasts; my wife has lovely breasts, I want to make love with my wife.”

I could go on, but I think those 2 examples make my point. I never want to be with, kiss, hug, hold, or make love to these other women. Rather, I “admire” something about them and then quickly fall into the thoughts about my wife.

So, is that lust, or not?

Lust is the disordinate desire of something sexual.

You did not actually desire her, imagine having intercourse, or to touch or feel her at all at any point at all.

You did not enage in lust.

Lust is wanting to make love or kiss or tough someone…desiring it to be so. To act upon images with your mind…engage in fantasy situations, etc.

If you did not think thusly, you are fine.
To see a nude woman and say , she is beautiful, she has a great physical form, is not impure in itself…it’s what you **do **with that knowledge…
{Added later} Next time you don’t even have to think of your wife…just acknowledge her beauty and move on. the less sexual thoughts you entertain the better…remember, we can also commit lust with one’s wife…]

Otherwise the statue of David would be a sinful carving…but it’s not the statue, it’s the mind of the onlooker.

a Book title comes to mind…
Christopher West: Naked without Shame.

Nakedness is not a sin…it’s what you do when you see it.

This does not hold true for pornography, since the acts depicted therein is seriously grave matter…but the nude form iniself is beautiful, it’s the pinacle of God’s creation…especially the female nude form…it’s the last thing He called into existence…of course it would be the best thing He ever made!


Well Lust is an inversion of love. It takes something beautiful and twists that to serving one’s own desires above being a gift of self particularly in the carnal sense. Hence lust can encompass passionately desiring anyone for the main purpose of gratifying onself whether it be just some woman or even your wife. The desire to make Love to your wife is healthy, but you must search you heart when this desire comes up, what is the main motive, to seek my own pleasure or to be a complete and faith gift to my wife. While looking at the beauty of the human body is not wrong in and of itself, one must be aware of what things put them into proximate danger to have temptations to lust. An R rated movie typically has nudity in conjuction with some type of sexual act, which I do not find a reason people need to watch at all. Could watching this put you in approximate danger to desire making love because of a disordered desire to pursue self pleasure even if it is with your wife?
To be brief, I say stay away from movies that are explicit in this nature since many are geared to draw people with tantalizing sex scenes that are temptations to lust. As for coming across artwork and other things that show reverence to the human body, that is fine so long as they do not pose a risk to you being tempted by disordered desires. Even knowingly placing oneself in a proximity to sin is a sin though it may not be Lust itself. Finally, love and admire your wife’s body as a masterpiece from the Lord and show reverence by living the Gift of Self and you should not fear lusting after her. :thumbsup:

Thanks for the comments, but my question is not related to whether I should watch certain movies or not. It is about what you have seemed to assume, namely, is what I described lust at all?
Also, in reference to my wife, what did you mean by the comment “you should not fear lusting after her”?

I am not trying to assume you were committing Lust, just a guide to understand whether your intentions are lustful or not. As for the wife comment, I meant that if your intentions are true in that you are not merely seeking out your own desires, but ensure that she achieves the goods of the marital embrace over your own, then you are guided by right intention. Your own desires are fine and good if they do not impede her achieving the goods. So go ahead and admire the beauty of your wife. This is known as eros, what draws us to the true/good/beautiful. Just do not forget the agape part of love which is becoming a gift of one’s self.

I don’t consider that lust at all.

I think you mean “you should not be afraid that you might lust after her, because you won’t be”- but the way you wrote it leaves room for questioning. “you should not fear” is an archaic way of saying “you shouldn’t be concerned that you might be”. Nowadays it tends to mean something like “it’s a good thing- be glad if it happens”. Archaic wording/phrasing is very easily misunderstood when people only read what you say, instead of hearing what you have to say.

I agree with the others, what tou describe is not lust, not a sin.

God Bless

i have notice though that ever since i started watching tv again after a five month hiatus sex is more pervasive than ever. Not onlly that but almost ever show i watch/sitcom i watch has underlying sexual messages. they constantly send the message that in order to be happy that you have be in constant persuit of a mate.

The flesh is a dangerous business, I know this well. But I don’t even have a wife and I still determined to stop all that none-sense. Christ tells us about what is natural for us, Jung in his psychology explain it with the Anima and Animus. Don’t beat yourself up too much, it isn’t even your fault completely, you can’t watch the t.v. for a whole minute without some sexually explicit material. Christ - ‘One day you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.’

Guarding one’s eyes is a Christian duty.

this is how i look at it…

admiration is walking into the museum and looking at the paintings, saying they are beautiful and appreciating that beauty. You know those paintings aren’t yours and don’t belong to you, you wouldn’t dare touch them. but admire their beauty, of course.

lust is when you bring a razor blade with you because you want to cut down one of those beautiful paintings and hang it up in your living room.

i see a beautiful woman, i look at her and say "exquisite work, Lord… "
(i had a priest tell me that one time… he told me when he sees an exceptionally beautiful woman he says a quick prayer “you do magnificent work, Lord”)


But it doesn’t consider or allow for the natural drive component of the purpose of sex. Everything in sexual expression has the end purpose of orienting the organisim to the sexual act, and nature intends that it be done among many partners to ensure genetic diversity.

Unlike most sins, sexual sins have their roots in a natural pre-programmed driving force to be triggered at a specific time. For instance there is not a pre-programmed natural plan to have a stealing hormone activate at maturity. Sex is natural, but within the class of what is natural in man it isn’t a norm. The ancients didn’t understand this, so sexual sins were classed as any other sin having the same mechanism. So the natural mechanism and the desired doctrinal progression so closely parallel each other and are recognizably similar in discernment to beg a reconciliation that is wanting. There should be a timeout in the culpability game for a closer study, and the professionals should get their act togeather to solve the problem. Each side is vying for the organism’s attention and accepted reaction with he in the middle.

The Church attempts to have it both ways. The reality is a flirt carries with it the end in which it forsees through attraction, and so does lipstick or some male toiletry such has hair styling or aftershave application or various cosmetic activities, depending on the motive. That makes these activities lustful through the end which it hopes to accomplish, making them just has mortal as it serves the mortal component as a whole.

The case here shows a person using devertion to his wife as a solution in handling the natural suggestion to mate with anyone.
What he is trying to do is handle a situation forced on him. He channels his desires to his wife when the natural component wishes him to focus on the object. The irony is both these powers have one source. Where it is glaringly obvious that the problem should be handled at the source, this is ignored and one more element for battle ground tactics between good and evil is thrust on man.

In considering this, I think the expression of the act only should suffice as the mortal component relieving the person with the burden of discerning what is occuring in the war inside him. In this new rule discernment is not even required as the result is truncated at the activity level. If there is a negative motivation it cannot be expressed has he chooses not to play it out to the end. That is to his credit. If for any reason these minor elements are considered sinful then they can only be mortal. So the only option left is simply assign mortality to the act of following through to the end for which it is desired. This would also be a statement of compensation that shows man that he is not responsible for the programming inside of him that orients him to doing what is not permitted.

Just doesn’t seem right as it is.


Well im really dissapointed but ive fallen into the sin of lust today.
It happend after i decided not to go with my family to a party and then as you know you change your mind after im 15 male.
And i was angry so i looked up “Hot Girls With Glasses” on google images found a picture of a attractive one looked at it and as i looked i thought no i dont want this to get that bad taht i have to masturbate again so i stopped and that was it but i looked it.
i felt turned on but i didnt have any sexual thoughts but i know it was wrong ive prayed to the lord and asked him for forgicvness i wont go to communion until confession but i used to struggle with lust and its sort of gone but im dissapointed about today i feel like ive lied to god again can someone help me?

Lust is so confusing to me, I don’t understand when lacking custody of the eyes becomes lust. It’s practically impossible to go out in public without seeing scantily clad and very good looking women. I don’t have sexual thoughts when I see a really pretty girl but I also have trouble looking away and never looking back. Plus, it doesn’t seem fair that we should have to avert our eyes from beautiful women in fear of sin, but then it’s ok to stare at an (no offense) overweight woman wearing baggy jeans and a raggy t-shirt. Is it possible to stare at a pretty girl without having lustful thoughts? I seem to think I’ve trained myself to do this, but everytime I see a hot girl I just think, don’t look, avoid sin. How will I ever find a wife if I do this!? :rolleyes:

To some extent Lust can be relative. Many of us consider a second look a lustful act becuse of where we have been and what we have done with lustful looks and thoughts. If the second look is cracking the door open to lust then don’t do it. This is not natural because we should be able to appreciate beauty but because of a disorder that some of us admittedly live with, for now, even the second looks have to stop. Multiple second looks and even appreciation for beauty can lead to fantacy which in turn leads to lust. It can be like an alcoholic just taking a sip of alcohol.

The second look in and of itself maynot be lust or imoral but lust is difficult so if someone struggles with it, don’t even open the door a crack.

right, but I don’t think I got my point across, is it wrong to stare at a pretty girl if you can control your thoughts and don’t think of her as a sex object?

I thnk it is what God intended and perhaps someday I will be able to do this. That someday may be Heaven but someday is better than no day. Some people’s disorder in lust is similar to the disorder in same sex attaction. It is a disorder and it is best to deal with it like one. I in no way want to excuse sin we all choose between good and evil but for some that choice even means not appreciating the beauty of a women, for now.

Matt 5:30 “And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.”

I thnk that being able to appreciate a women’s beauty is what God intended and perhaps someday I will be able to do this. That someday may be Heaven but someday is better than no day. Some people’s disorder in lust is similar to the disorder in same sex attaction. It is a disorder and it is best to deal with it like one. I in no way want to excuse sin we all choose between good and evil but for some that choice even means not appreciating the beauty of a women, for now.

Matt 5:30 “And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.”

I understand your dilema here… I think just about every male on the planet has to walk through this mindfield from time to time…

Look I may be wrong here, but I think its ok to look at a beautiful women as long as it is just a look… I know that can sound hard.

But it cant be compared to say looking at one of them late night commercials we get on TV saying dial this or that on your mobile and download this movie of “girl on girl action” or “naughty Natasha the nurse”… etc… etc… that is definately lustful… look away… steer well clear of that.

Women are a beautiful creation of God, as long as you continually think that… as someone earlier posted about that pray the Priest said… “Wow top job their God!, a work of art!” etc… just dont think… “hmm… I’d like a piece of that…” or something like that.

Also if you do see an attractive girl who is dressed scantily on the streets… say a silent pray for them… Lord forgive her for she is corrupting the minds of others… something like that??? thats what I do :slight_smile:

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