I am requesting advice on how to deal with common situations that seem to arise in a mixed marriage. I have read these boards off and on for a couple months and I would like some practical tips on handling issues. If you are going to simply blast interfaith marriages or tell us we have to do everything the Catholic way or we are horrible people please refrain from posting.
A little background information:
My husband and I have been married for almost two years. When we got married my husband was a non practicing catholic, and was attending church with me (I am Missouri Synod Lutheran). We were married in the Lutheran Church as well. About 9 months ago my husband rediscovered his Catholic Faith. This has led to a lot of turmoil of the last 9 months, as suddenly all the things we had agreed to before we got married seems to be up for renegotiation. We did go through Radical Sanation (sp?). Now we are looking at starting a family, and we are going to be facing some huge decisions about our kids.
We love each other very much, I cannot imagine life with out my husband by my side, and we have committed to working this situation in a way we both agree on and support. However I would love to here how other interfaith couples have dealt with some of the following issues, and any other issues:
Baptizing Children: I was a godparent to my younger sister (she is 11 years younger) and I would like her to be my Children’s Godparent, but as with the rest of my family she is Lutheran. Not having my family members or a trusted friend be able to be my children’s god parents is strange to me. Not to mention we really don’t know anyone who is Catholic well enough to have them serve as our children’s god parents. On that note not having my husband be able to serve as a god parent to any of my sister’s future children is not okay either.
Weekly Church Attendance: How do we worship as a family while still allowing both my husband and I to practice our respective faiths, how do we expose our children to those faiths with out making it confusing to them as well. (i.e. Why can’t mommy take communion at daddy’s church, etc.)
First Communion: In the Churches I grew up in First Communion was part of confirmation, which took place in the 6th – 8th grade. I am very uncomfortable with 1st graders taking communion, when as I was taught they were not old enough to understand what they were doing. (I’m not sure in 6th grade, I completely understood the importance of communion)
I know that these are hard topics, and as my husband and I have laughed about there are so many similarities about our two churches, and so much that is good and beautiful about each of them that it is very frustrating that the parts that are different can drive us so far apart. I know we can’t solve those larger theological issues as better minds than ours have tried for hundreds of years. We are simply looking for practical everyday ideas and solutions that we can use to make out family run smoothly.
Thank you for any insight that anyone has, and as a reminder please don’t reply if you don’t have anything constructive to say. (Hint: Suggesting to do everything only the Catholic way or only the Lutheran way is not helpful nor constructive. )