I have been with my fiance for 4 years now. We have two beautiful children ages 1 and 2 and plan to marry this summer in the Church. I went threw RCIA this year and was baptized, confirmed, and receive my first Holy Communion on Saturday While I love the Church and want to do right by my faith, I am dragging in some baggage from the past (ie live in boyfriend, children out of wedlock etc).
He is not Catholic or anything for that matter, never baptized, but does believe in God…that’s good. The problem is I am trying to be a good Catholic fiance, but I am running out of fuel. He is lying to me and drinking against our resolution to quit (both alcoholics) he spends all hours of the night with “friends” (people who enable him to lie, drink, and dishonor his family) and puts us (me and kids) last. He started a new career out of college and is having a hard time getting that off the ground. While I am trying to be supportive (accepting him working long days, nights and weekends) lying drinking and milking time away from his responsibilities at home is making me sick to my stomach. Then, he says things like he needs more freedom! I feel like we are a burden to him, a kink in the lifestyle he wants. I am dedicated to this family, and want to make it work, but what do I do in the meantime? He ditches us at least once a week, twice I missed RCIA and I missed Mass on Good Friday because of his selfish choices. My oldest child and I have waited up for him twice because he is supposed to be home at a certain time and my daughter ends up falling asleep on my shoulder because he doesn’t show!! It’s one thing to lie to me (not okay, but I can handle it) but now it’s effecting our babies.
Help me please! Am I being to controlling/demanding? Is it too much to ask for him to be home with me and his kids when he’s not working? At least most of the time? Isn’t that how responsible parents are supposed to act?