Lying


#1

I lied to my mother about a personal matter. She told me to swear on the bible and I still lied to her to avoid an arguement. I am going to go to confession about this on saturday. Just wanted to get this off my chest.


#2

Go and confess it to your mom also. She does not deserve the disrespect of a lie.

Man, as a mom, there is little I hate more then my son lying to me. I get more angry when the lie is found out - which it usually comes to light at some point. Then trust has been broken as well.


#3

[quote="DaneClark, post:1, topic:182211"]
I lied to my mother about a personal matter. She told me to swear on the bible and I still lied to her to avoid an arguement. I am going to go to confession about this on saturday. Just wanted to get this off my chest.

[/quote]

[quote="jrabs, post:2, topic:182211"]
Go and confess it to your mom also. She does not deserve the disrespect of a lie.

Man, as a mom, there is little I hate more then my son lying to me. I get more angry when the lie is found out - which it usually comes to light at some point. Then trust has been broken as well.

[/quote]

Absolutely go to confession and then tell your mother. I used to do this a lot (not the swearing on the bible part, but lying to my parents). I thought it would keep fights away and keep me out of trouble. It didnt. Lies always get found out. And it is SO much easier tod eal with things the first time through, there is just less baggage. Also, if you have lied to your parents, especially your mother, it is FAR better that she finds out you lied from you, rather than finding it out on her own. And trust me on this one, she will find out. Mothers are absolutely incredible that way. Its almost as if they have telepathy and know the future and past. Seriously, God gives mothers some awesome intuition...

Plus, they have more connections than you do since they have lived longer.

FSC


#4

Agreed. Tell your mom.

As a mother and a teacher, the thing that I hate more than anything is LYING.

My kids quickly learned not to lie. It IS discovered, and then the punishment is FAR worse for lying than the original thing they lied about!

As a teacher, lying in my classroom can get someone in serious trouble. This includes a call to the parents by the child in my presence so they can tell their parent(s) they lied to me, a written note of apology, and, sorry to say, a loss of trust for a time until it can be earned back.


#5

:thumbsup:Exactly! We KNOW. We KNOW you. We have KNOWN you far longer than YOU have known you! :wink: We WILL find out…somehow, someway, sometime. :cool: It would be far better if you confessed. The ramifications will be much easier to deal with.

Trust me. I’m a mom.:wink:


#6

I should like to commend you for confessing to us
and now you have gotten that off your chest you probably feel better.
As the other posters have said,if you tell your God in confession and
your mom how much better will you feel?

I think the way to go about it is what matters.Plan what you are going to say.
Make a time to talk alone.Be sincere and kind and apologetic in your tone.

Explain that you are really sorry and made a mistake and realise it was
not the right thing to do to lie about it.
You were trying to prevent things getting worse.etc

Give her a hug and tell her how much you love her and be truly sorry.

I pray things will go well for you.Be brave,Trust in The Lord.
We all make mistakes by the way! We learn from them. God bless you


#7

i tell my 2 daughters that there is nothing worse than lying. i tell them "do NOT ever lie to me, i WILL find out and you WILL be in severe trouble for lying." they are 9 and 7 years old. i rarely deal with lying from them. they know that the punishment is worse.


#8

Lying doesn’t simply mean telling untruths. If a random man on the street asks me my full name and address and follows me until I tell him, telling him something made up is not a lie because he does not have the right to that information.

Your mother doesn’t have the right to know about your personal issues, so you don’t have to tell her anything. It is her own fault that she bullied you into swearing on the Bible. Lying about information someone doesn’t have a right to but unjustly demands is at most a venial sin.


#9

[quote="flyingfish, post:8, topic:182211"]
Lying doesn't simply mean telling untruths. If a random man on the street asks me my full name and address and follows me until I tell him, telling him something made up is not a lie because he does not have the right to that information.

Your mother doesn't have the right to know about your personal issues, so you don't have to tell her anything. It is her own fault that she bullied you into swearing on the Bible.

[/quote]

I think that this is a good point. One certainly should never lie to their mother, especially when making an oath on the the Bible. However, I do have to question what the relationship is between this mother and son if she is wanting so much knowledge of his personal affairs to the point that she requires him to make oaths on a Bible. To me that sounds like it could be a mother that is crossing way too many personal boundaries. I don't know the particulars, but it does raise a red flag. It's possible that the OP not only needs confession, but also the chance to talk to a family counselor.


#10

[quote="DaneClark, post:1, topic:182211"]
I lied to my mother about a personal matter. She told me to swear on the bible and I still lied to her to avoid an arguement. I am going to go to confession about this on saturday. Just wanted to get this off my chest.

[/quote]

AW! :( I am sorry you had to lie to her to get out of arguments!!! It's always tough to be honest with your family let alone a mother...Believe me...I can never win with my mother on anything, I am always wrong so in order to not have to listen to her for about 6 hours nagging about how I'm going to hell for whatever choice I made, not saving money, spending for Christmas, tripping and falling and twisting my ankle, getting cold and flu for 2 weeks, I either won't talk to her or lie to her so I can get off the phone... I feel bad but growing up with a woman like that wasn't easy and sorry but unless you know my mother's and my history you would understand why I would try to avoid anything to do with my mother! most of the time at least... Anyhow, go to confession and just let it be...Next time though try to be honest or at least avoid the subject so you don't have to lie to her...you know?! It's best to be with a clean conscience then dreading things that you wish you could tell her but you can't later on...

i know i dread not being my mother's friend, not my choice btw her choice...And I could never confide in her...So I would lie to get out of getting into personal things with her because all she was doing was comparing me to her perfect daughter all the time, a person can take so much you know?! And yeah I wished things were different but that's my reality...I hope GOD can understand me...you know?!

Hopefully you won't have to lie to her again...Don't beat yourself over it, confess it and try not to do it again...If you find yourself in a situation that you have to lie then try to change the subject or just tell her you don't want to talk about it...I started doing that now...Even though she'll start yelling at me as to why I am changing the subject and opens an entire new can of worms but hey gotta live with it you know?! That's how moms are...I guess?!

Well GOD bless and good luck!


#11

How old are you? Do you still live at home? Are you grown enough to tell your mother not to worry about something? I suspect you’re too young to purchase a pack of cigarettes due to vagueness of your story.

No one wants to argue, but depending on other factors, you still owe her the truth, even if the truth is, “I’m not going to talk about it.” Just make sure you can deal with the fallout of that statement. If you can, then you are officially grown.


#12

I think stories like this should be a lesson for parents...
How we react to our children when they make a mistake should be an example of Christ in the confessional.

Why is it that so many of us lied to our parents because "we were afraid of an argument" or "were afraid of our parents' reactions"... it's the classic reason for lying!

Yes, lying is wrong - and should be confessed... but, are we "leading others into temptation" by our reaction? After one bad reaction our children learn that it's not worth telling the truth... that's not good.

Thank you for this thread - as a mother, I'm taking it as a lesson - to BE Christ-like in my reactions to my children's mistakes.


#13

You are right: when someone lacks a right to a truth from you, you are in no need to tell it. However, the flip side is that not being obligated to tell the truth never implies being permitted to tell an untruth. Traditional Catholic moral theory excludes lying (“the knowing telling of a falsehood”) as intrinsically evil, and literally never choiceworthy.

It takes a lot of moral maturity to be able to follow through on this with tact and prudence, of course, but is very possible for one who decides to foreswear any lying, and who applies himself to learning the habit of telling the truth, to be able to do so, with God’s grace.

I’m not a parent, of course, but I think that the tactic of producing a Bible for your child to swear on… is… misguided. If you believe your child is lying, then you risk pushing him into a deeper sin (by putting him in a situation where he must swear on a sacred object, and thus commit a steeper sin by ‘perjuring’ himself). If only we followed Jesus’ advice and "let our ‘yes’ be ‘yes’ and our ‘no’ be ‘no.’

-Rob


#14

A parent who would make their child swear on the bible about something that's not a life and death matter is just handling things wrong. I would seek the priest's advice under the seal of confession as to how to deal with said mother.

I have a father who's extremely competetive and likes to be right. Sometimes in a casual conversation I say something...say a fact about water...or a law...or even a friend...and he says I'm wrong. Now, I know I'm right, as its something I studied or heard or just dealt with. But my dad will badger me and I'll just say, "Fine, I was wrong." even though I know I was right. Or he'll say something I know is false and I'll tell him he's right even though I know its untrue...to save hours of nonsensical bickering.

Then I wait a few days (weeks or months) and he comes back and apologies. By the next sentence he's at it again, saying I'm wrong and he's right, though.:rolleyes:

So I can understand the pressure to "lie" to a parent.


#15

[quote="DaneClark, post:1, topic:182211"]
I lied to my mother about a personal matter. She told me to swear on the bible and I still lied to her to avoid an arguement. I am going to go to confession about this on saturday. Just wanted to get this off my chest.

[/quote]

I was always taught that perjury was grave matter. Do tell it to the priest. However, without knowing how old you are, what the personal matter was, what led to the conversation (did you initiate the conversation, or did she start asking personal questions, and why) or if your mother has a history of abusive , nosy, or domineering behavior (since the "swearing on the Bible" part is over the top unless you have a history of legal or substance abuse type troubles), it is hard to give any other advice, especially if you should "come clean" to your mother.


#16

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