Made another decision - a good one


#1

Back before I was Catholic and understood my gift as a woman I had a tubal ligation. In the marriage from Hell that I was just saved from I knew that I could never bring a child into that so even though I confessed that sin I never had it reversed (and yes I know Church teaching does not require it.) I also know that he never would have allowed the reversal. Now that I am becoming legally single I have made the decision that while I am on my own I want to have the reversal done. I may never marry again - it is far from the point - it is about me doing what I feel is right and what I am able to do. I also if I do discern marriage again - I do not want to carry a sin that I have been forgiven for into a new marriage. Any thoughts?


#2

You are "walking the talk", exhibiting trust and courage in our LORD, and HE will bless you.


#3

[quote="joandarc2008, post:1, topic:214540"]
Back before I was Catholic and understood my gift as a woman I had a tubal ligation. In the marriage from Hell that I was just saved from I knew that I could never bring a child into that so even though I confessed that sin I never had it reversed (and yes I know Church teaching does not require it.) I also know that he never would have allowed the reversal. Now that I am becoming legally single I have made the decision that while I am on my own I want to have the reversal done. I may never marry again - it is far from the point - it is about me doing what I feel is right and what I am able to do. I also if I do discern marriage again - I do not want to carry a sin that I have been forgiven for into a new marriage. Any thoughts?

[/quote]

I have to agree with Julian!

I want to add I know that a reversal costs around $12,000 out of pocket, since no insurance will cover it. You stated that you are able to (I assume financially) and that's wonderful, yet I feel you should prayerfully consider what other things those funds could do for those less fortunate than you; especially women facing a crisis pregnancy and considering abortion..........


#4

[quote="Prayerfully, post:3, topic:214540"]
I have to agree with Julian!

I want to add I know that a reversal costs around $12,000 out of pocket, since no insurance will cover it. You stated that you are able to (I assume financially) and that's wonderful, yet I feel you should prayerfully consider what other things those funds could do for those less fortunate than you; especially women facing a crisis pregnancy and considering abortion..........

[/quote]

I am looking at the possibility of having the VA cover it - since they are doing similar procedures for men - there is no reason that I should be discriminated against as a female veteran. And yes, I will fight that fight. In that case it would be free of charge due to my level of service connected disability I have no copay for medical care. If the VA is going to be forced to shell out many for contraception (and lets face it if Obama gets his way -maybe someday abortion although thankfully that is not yet the case) why shouldn't they do it for life.

After I wrote this I found the VA National Policy - Praise God - Read Here


#5

[quote="Prayerfully, post:3, topic:214540"]
I have to agree with Julian!

I want to add I know that a reversal costs around $12,000 out of pocket, since no insurance will cover it. You stated that you are able to (I assume financially) and that's wonderful, yet I feel you should prayerfully consider what other things those funds could do for those less fortunate than you; especially women facing a crisis pregnancy and considering abortion..........

[/quote]

Okay, now please don't take this the wrong way, because I am meaning this in all charity...but this concern you bring up here (highlighted blue) reminds me a bit of how Judas tried to chastise Mary Magdalene and correct Jesus for allowing his feet to be annointed with precious oil, when it could have been sold, and the money given to the poor. Jesus teaches us that the poor will always be with us, but doing something so honorable and good as anointing the Lord's tired feet is a beautiful thing.

There is no reason why Joandarc cannot use her money to have her tubal ligation reversed as a sign of obedience and devotion to the Lord, and later give of her money and time to help the poor. These are not mutually exclusive things. She should not worry about stealing from the poor in order to have her surgery done.

Anyway, I only mention this Judas story to demonstrate how even the inner circle of Jesus' disciples could sometimes (even dramatically) misunderstand his mission. Jesus wasn't merely about social justice. That certainly will be a hallmark of his kingdom, but his primary goal was about redemption and giving us the ability to live out God's ways and overcoming sin. Joandarc wants to do what she can to address the temporal consequences of a previously confessed sin. Her guilt is removed, but she also has an option to remove one of the temporal consequences. It will require a huge sacrifice on her part (like the precious oil used to anoint Jesus' feet), but it is her sacrifice for the Lord. I think it is a beautiful idea, and a worthy one.


#6

Joan: I love this!

" In the marriage from Hell that I was just saved from I knew that I could never bring a child into that.

Joan: You've been through hell and back. Do as you feel you should/need to do especially since the VA will pay for it.


#7

[quote="mommamaree, post:5, topic:214540"]
Okay, now please don't take this the wrong way, because I am meaning this in all charity...but this concern you bring up here (highlighted blue) reminds me a bit of how Judas tried to chastise Mary Magdalene and correct Jesus for allowing his feet to be annointed with precious oil, when it could have been sold, and the money given to the poor. Jesus teaches us that the poor will always be with us, but doing something so honorable and good as anointing the Lord's tired feet is a beautiful thing.

There is no reason why Joandarc cannot use her money to have her tubal ligation reversed as a sign of obedience and devotion to the Lord, and later give of her money and time to help the poor. These are not mutually exclusive things. She should not worry about stealing from the poor in order to have her surgery done.

Anyway, I only mention this Judas story to demonstrate how even the inner circle of Jesus' disciples could sometimes (even dramatically) misunderstand his mission. Jesus wasn't merely about social justice. That certainly will be a hallmark of his kingdom, but his primary goal was about redemption and giving us the ability to live out God's ways and overcoming sin. Joandarc wants to do what she can to address the temporal consequences of a previously confessed sin. Her guilt is removed, but she also has an option to remove one of the temporal consequences. It will require a huge sacrifice on her part (like the precious oil used to anoint Jesus' feet), but it is her sacrifice for the Lord. I think it is a beautiful idea, and a worthy one.

[/quote]

Bravo Mommamaree I was thinking along those same lines!!


#8

[quote="mommamaree, post:5, topic:214540"]
Okay, now please don't take this the wrong way, because I am meaning this in all charity...but this concern you bring up here (highlighted blue) reminds me a bit of how Judas tried to chastise Mary Magdalene and correct Jesus for allowing his feet to be annointed with precious oil, when it could have been sold, and the money given to the poor. Jesus teaches us that the poor will always be with us, but doing something so honorable and good as anointing the Lord's tired feet is a beautiful thing.

There is no reason why Joandarc cannot use her money to have her tubal ligation reversed as a sign of obedience and devotion to the Lord, and later give of her money and time to help the poor. These are not mutually exclusive things. She should not worry about stealing from the poor in order to have her surgery done.

Anyway, I only mention this Judas story to demonstrate how even the inner circle of Jesus' disciples could sometimes (even dramatically) misunderstand his mission. Jesus wasn't merely about social justice. That certainly will be a hallmark of his kingdom, but his primary goal was about redemption and giving us the ability to live out God's ways and overcoming sin. Joandarc wants to do what she can to address the temporal consequences of a previously confessed sin. Her guilt is removed, but she also has an option to remove one of the temporal consequences. It will require a huge sacrifice on her part (like the precious oil used to anoint Jesus' feet), but it is her sacrifice for the Lord. I think it is a beautiful idea, and a worthy one.

[/quote]

I also think as it is something that was a point to be brought up and I am not against adoption if it does not take - in this case there most likely is no cost except for some discomfort of a surgical procedure.


#9

[quote="mommamaree, post:5, topic:214540"]
Okay, now please don't take this the wrong way, because I am meaning this in all charity...but this concern you bring up here (highlighted blue) reminds me a bit of how Judas tried to chastise Mary Magdalene and correct Jesus for allowing his feet to be annointed with precious oil, when it could have been sold, and the money given to the poor. Jesus teaches us that the poor will always be with us, but doing something so honorable and good as anointing the Lord's tired feet is a beautiful thing.

There is no reason why Joandarc cannot use her money to have her tubal ligation reversed as a sign of obedience and devotion to the Lord, and later give of her money and time to help the poor. These are not mutually exclusive things. She should not worry about stealing from the poor in order to have her surgery done.

Anyway, I only mention this Judas story to demonstrate how even the inner circle of Jesus' disciples could sometimes (even dramatically) misunderstand his mission. Jesus wasn't merely about social justice. That certainly will be a hallmark of his kingdom, but his primary goal was about redemption and giving us the ability to live out God's ways and overcoming sin. Joandarc wants to do what she can to address the temporal consequences of a previously confessed sin. Her guilt is removed, but she also has an option to remove one of the temporal consequences. It will require a huge sacrifice on her part (like the precious oil used to anoint Jesus' feet), but it is her sacrifice for the Lord. I think it is a beautiful idea, and a worthy one.

[/quote]

Not taken the wrong way at all! Thanks for putting a different perspective on it. I posted my comment late last night (caffeine and I shouldn't get together), so I was quite one-sided on my thinking.


#10

[quote="joandarc2008, post:4, topic:214540"]
I am looking at the possibility of having the VA cover it - since they are doing similar procedures for men - there is no reason that I should be discriminated against as a female veteran. And yes, I will fight that fight. In that case it would be free of charge due to my level of service connected disability I have no copay for medical care. If the VA is going to be forced to shell out many for contraception (and lets face it if Obama gets his way -maybe someday abortion although thankfully that is not yet the case) why shouldn't they do it for life.

After I wrote this I found the VA National Policy - Praise God - Read Here

[/quote]

Good for you for pushing on that issue! I was not aware that any plans would cover a reversal since it wasn't medically necessary.....you have to pull teeth to get a lot of plans to cover medically necessary things. As I responded to Mommeemaree, I was thinking rather one-sided last night when I made my post. I now can view it as a way of healing for you after the awful marriage. God bless you!!


#11

Good for you for deciding to get it reversed! :thumbsup: I'm sure it will lift a big weight off your shoulders. After all you've been through you don't deserve to have any more stress right now. :hug1:
Unfortunately women who get it reversed have a higher risk of ectopic pregnancies, but as someone said there is always adoption if you end up getting remarried and want to have kids.


#12

joandarc2008: I read the VA memo and as it mentions the "Womens Veterans Health Program" it does seem that you can have your reversal surgery covered. I hope you recover well with no complications and that this helps you obtain more peace.

Good for you for pushing on that issue! I was not aware that any plans would cover a reversal since it wasn't medically necessary.....you have to pull teeth to get a lot of plans to cover medically necessary things.

I think it says a lot about our modern culture that sterilization itself is treated as medically necessary, or close to it. I guess if you're just looking for financial reasons, then an insurance company would figured they'd save money by covering sterlization (and contraception in general), so they won't have to later cover for prenatal care, or another dependent. The VA memo actually refers to "elective sterilization" as a covered procedure as well, and I guess the reasoning is that if they are covering an elective surgery then they should cover elective reversal as well.


#13

Ah joandarc, you are definitely an inspiration! I agree with the other posters. I think what you are planning to do is a commendable thing. God bless you, dear sister in Christ :D


#14

Just to clear up something another poster said - VA is not an insurance plan - it is Dept of Veterans Affairs. For some of us due to us being in the service and having disabilities from it - it would be next to impossible for us to get health insurance - so this is our health insurance - the VA health system. Depending on who is in charge there are ups and downs. Obama is terrible. But Shinseki has been pretty good for still getting us our due and assuaging Obama's idioacy. God bless. Yes, they do pass out the pill and do elective sterilizations but I can only control what I do to my body.


#15

i would be surprised if the va covered it. most insurance plans cover sterilization, but not reversals. that being said, i think it is a great idea. google the procedure and you will see that the most experience reversal clinic charges about half the price that has been quoted here.

sorry for the lack of proper capitalization. i am on a computer with a busted shift key.


#16

[quote="dulcissima, post:15, topic:214540"]
i would be surprised if the va covered it. most insurance plans cover sterilization, but not reversals. that being said, i think it is a great idea. google the procedure and you will see that the most experience reversal clinic charges about half the price that has been quoted here.

sorry for the lack of proper capitalization. i am on a computer with a busted shift key.

[/quote]

No problem about the shift key- did you see the memorandum?


#17

[quote="joandarc2008, post:16, topic:214540"]
No problem about the shift key- did you see the memorandum?

[/quote]

Sorry, I had missed that when I posted. Would you have to see their doctors and do it at their facility?

(I have a working shift key now:) )


#18

[quote="dulcissima, post:17, topic:214540"]
Sorry, I had missed that when I posted. Would you have to see their doctors and do it at their facility?

(I have a working shift key now:) )

[/quote]

Yes, this is not always a bad thing as they would also have my full health record and let's face it - most of us that are being seen by the VA this young have other things going on that would warrant doctors having our full health care record - some of these things are sometimes a bit out of the ordinary - in my case epilepsy that is not easily controlled but is now under control. If for some reason they cannot handle something then they will fee basis but they try to keep things in house. Basically the VA has an electronic medical record that if you go to any VA any other VA can see what was done - and if you go to an outside doc then your records can be scanned in and be seen throughout the VA system as well. It is managed care for veterans - like I said it is NOT insurance. But because it is managed care with a population that most politicians do not want to offend or anger we usually get what we need around election years. In between or right after is another story.


#19

Just an update - and I figured I would bump the old thread rather than explain everything again. After butting heads with the Secular docs at the VA - I finally did get approval to get the procedure done. Also, even better - thank God - I was "fee based out" meaning that I have a choice of doctor go to in the community. So I called the local NFP coordinator at the diocese and she is helping me find a surgeon who is willing to take the MediCare rates. So without even asking for it I am even going to be able to get this done on the VA's dime by a Catholic practitioner. Thank you to the Blessed Mother of God.


#20

I think you have a high chance of re-marriage. I believe most people do if you look for it and because of that, I think you're making a good choice. (: With or without marriage, if you feel the best thing to do is undo it, I say go for it. Just remember always stay open to new people. I think that people who have gone through horrible relationships like that are usually gifted by God with a new relationship that is actually healthy. A relationship that will give you something you should have deserved all along. One that will make you happy, one that is true, and healthy and strong. One that even might bring kids. ;) Just stay open to new possibilities and you will do great.


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