Magdalena09's Journal of Family Troubles & Concerns


#1

I am a Catholic living in a non-Catholic, sometimes anti-Catholic family... and sometimes I just need a place to talk about it and reach out for advice, prayers, and support. I figured this would be easier than starting a new thread every time I need to "vent" or need an electronic shoulder to cry on. Thanks in advance.

My mother is participating in a play called Nunsense. It is not blatantly anti-Catholic but it is hurtful in some places and definitely irreverent. However, I was pleased to discover today that as part of their fundraiser for the play, they are sending St. Genesius medals and prayer cards to all the people who donated to the play!! I only wish they had gone through me to get the medals and things because I could have gotten them for free more than likely AND could have gotten them blessed. Please pray that the medals and prayer cards are put to good use and perhaps plant seeds of conversion for the people that receive them.

Last night my father got lambasted for suggesting to my younger brother that he may want to be more "centrist" than "leftist" on the political spectrum. Everyone in my family is very liberal except for me and my father. My father used to be a conservative but after years of being married to my mother he is now more moderate. I used to be extremely liberal but during and after my conversion I have become the most conservative in my family. It's a source of a lot of tension/stress in my family. Most of the time I just keep quiet rather than getting into arguments. :(

Please pray for my family's conversion... :)


#2

I’ve seen “Nunsense”. It has been performed for years at various theaters around the area. Our Catholic church has organized groups of people to go see this play at professional theaters from time to time.

It is funny. It is not “anti-Catholic”.

It is OK and even healthy for us to be able to laugh at ourselves.

Regarding the politics, just don’t discuss politics! :smiley:


#3

Nunsense is a funny show. We CAN laugh at ourselves.


#4

I’ve only heard good humor about Nunsense… not irreverence…

Discussing politics is always dangerous… give it up for Lent. :wink:


#5

I have read the script (the copy my mother uses) and while it is funny in parts it also does in fact take jabs at certain aspects of the Church as well as my patron saint. Maybe I am just taking it personally because I know my mother is not a fan of the Catholic church though. shrugs I will try not to take it quite as personally though. :o


#6

Personally I feel it’s ok to make fun if things if it’s light hearted, if you can’t laugh at yourself sometimes what can ya laugh at?

Also remember that being conservative, moderate or liberal don’t have to have anything to do with the US political parties as we know them. For example our “liberal” party would be quite moderate anywhere else in the world and our “conservative” party would be… well pretty far right wing. Note that being morally conservative and fiscally liberal is truly what the Church is calling us to be… the problem is that there is no party in the US that represents that philosophy so we are stuck with not really following the teachings of the Church when we support either party and thus there isn’t really a reason to argue too much about it :slight_smile:

Joe


#7

[quote="jwashu, post:6, topic:183799"]
Personally I feel it's ok to make fun if things if it's light hearted, if you can't laugh at yourself sometimes what can ya laugh at?

Also remember that being conservative, moderate or liberal don't have to have anything to do with the US political parties as we know them. For example our "liberal" party would be quite moderate anywhere else in the world and our "conservative" party would be... well pretty far right wing. Note that being morally conservative and fiscally liberal is truly what the Church is calling us to be... the problem is that there is no party in the US that represents that philosophy so we are stuck with not really following the teachings of the Church when we support either party and thus there isn't really a reason to argue too much about it :)

Joe

[/quote]

Well I wish it was that cut and dry but my mother is a huge advocate of "choice"... in other words she is 100% supportive of a woman's right to choose abortion, a gay person's "right" to marriage, and an old and sick person's right to medical-assisted suicide.


#8

I spent over 2 hours preparing and making dinner tonight. I roasted garlic, steamed broccoli, sauteed onions and mushrooms, and made Salisbury steak. We were sitting around eating dinner except my brother who was sitting at the table eating nothing but bread and butter. I noticed this after a few minutes and chuckled out loud while watching him butter yet another piece but didn't say a word. He said, "what, I'm hungry"... and then my father proceeded to yell at me and asked me why I always have to comment on everything. :confused:

Sometimes I really feel as if I can do nothing right in their eyes.


#9

Our living room is where my younger brother stays for the time being because my sister moved back in with us when she had her baby.

Tonight I walked through the living room (it's the only way to get to the kitchen) and he was laying in his bed under the covers with his girlfriend. I've told my parents this makes me uncomfortable in the first place; I feel like I can't walk through my own house when she is here and they are in there laying down in bed together.

Well tonight they were making out when I walked through--I didn't even know she was here and it was just like BAM and I tried to hurry through before they noticed my presence. I then asked my parents if they knew what was going on to which they replied... "at least they are doing it here." They act like it isn't a big deal. My baby brother JUST turned 16 and I can't help but think that he is probably having sex. :'(

I don't know why but this makes me want to cry. :(


#10

[quote="Magdalena09, post:1, topic:183799"]
I used to be extremely liberal but during and after my conversion I have become the most conservative in my family. It's a source of a lot of tension/stress in my family. Most of the time I just keep quiet rather than getting into arguments. :(

Please pray for my family's conversion... :)

[/quote]

Actually, this is similar to what happened to me when I was a teen living with my family. I was 18 when it happened, and became more conservative than my parents.

If you are at the age that I think you're at, our parents formed their political opinions in the 60s and 70s. Society was going through some rapid changes, and men in our parents' generation were being sent into Vietnam by the government and were dying there. Eventually, a certain anti-establishment outlook came to seem like the only sensible choice back then. This morphed into them having a left-wing, anti-Catholic outlook (or support for contraception, etc among Catholics), and they will probably never change because they've held their beliefs for too long.

The 50-something members of our form may dispute my version of history, but it's my only explanation for the angry blow-ups that resulted whenever I even suggested Catholic or politically conservative ideas to my parents. Seriously, it only took a couple of sentences before they began seething. I eventually decided that I would not attempt to evangelize my parents in any way, because there's no way that they were disposed towards changing their beliefs, and certainly not because their own CHILD suggests that they do so.

A few years after I stopped talking about religion, the subject became less "explosive" when I spend time with my parents, and there are no longer arguments over going to Mass, etc. The current approach might not be very good for aiding their souls, but it keeps the peace. I expect that you will need to take a similar approach.

How old are you anyway? You seem to be at least 18, and moving out could drastically improve your situation. Do you have plans to move out before you get married?


#11

[quote="ack, post:10, topic:183799"]
Actually, this is similar to what happened to me when I was a teen living with my family. I was 18 when it happened, and became more conservative than my parents.

If you are at the age that I think you're at, our parents formed their political opinions in the 60s and 70s. Society was going through some rapid changes, and men in our parents' generation were being sent into Vietnam by the government and were dying there. Eventually, a certain anti-establishment outlook came to seem like the only sensible choice back then. This morphed into them having a left-wing, anti-Catholic outlook (or support for contraception, etc among Catholics), and they will probably never change because they've held their beliefs for too long.

The 50-something members of our form may dispute my version of history, but it's my only explanation for the angry blow-ups that resulted whenever I even suggested Catholic or politically conservative ideas to my parents. Seriously, it only took a couple of sentences before they began seething. I eventually decided that I would not attempt to evangelize my parents in any way, because there's no way that they were disposed towards changing their beliefs, and certainly not because their own CHILD suggests that they do so.

A few years after I stopped talking about religion, the subject became less "explosive" when I spend time with my parents, and there are no longer arguments over going to Mass, etc. The current approach might not be very good for aiding their souls, but it keeps the peace. I expect that you will need to take a similar approach.

How old are you anyway? You seem to be at least 18, and moving out could drastically improve your situation. Do you have plans to move out before you get married?

[/quote]

Yes, I'm 21, and I do have plans to move out and soon... I was trying to save a little bit because I didn't want to be digging pennies out of couch cushions to make ends meet by my psychological well being depends on me not living with them, I think... so I'm moving out in 3 weeks.


#12

This does sound like a very hostile situation. You need to take care of yourself first, then you may be able to reach over and help your family in the future. So, if you need to move out and start your own life that is fine. If moving out is not financially in the cards for you, you may want to start by just making yourself extremely busy so you are not in the house very often. A job or volunteering can get you out of the house and around people that you share values with.
As far as your 16 year old brother, even though he may not pick it up to read at first, try getting a copy of Theology of the Body in his hands.


#13

I'm supposed to be in charge of doing the dishes. My sister often neglects to scrape the food off the dishes or rinse them, or even put her dishes in the sink when she is done. I made a gentle reminder (not directing at anyone in particular) and hung it on the fridge so as not to single her out asking everyone in the family to please remember to rinse their dishes.

She ripped it off the fridge and yelled at me. My dad then asked my why I can't just talk to people when I have a problem and I said that I have tried that before and people feel personally singled out. He said, "why can't we just be a family about this." I responded that I didn't know if I wanted to be a part of a family that functions like this, to which he responded, "then don't be!".

:'(


#14

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