Making my future marriage Valid


#1

Hi there, in Feb next year I am going to enter into the sacrament of marriage. I want to make sure that it is a valid one because I love her dearly.

As a part of the process, You need to convey proper intention (that marriage is a lifelong covenant which requires fidelity and an openness to having children). While I know that I would commit to both of these things, I can't help but still have some doubts, since you can never be sure of your future.

Does doubting (when you say the I do's) mean your marriage is invalid?

Also if on the day your spouse was in the wrong frame of mind for some reason (like really anxious or something similar) and the ceremony went ahead as it should. Because they are not in the right frame of mind the marriage is invalid.

My question is, how would one know for certainty that their marriage is a valid one since you don't know these intricacies? If you thought you were validly married, but weren't, would this be a mortal sin by making the assumption that you are validly wedded?

Thanks for your answers in advanced (and please keep me and my future wife in your prayers as we journey towards the altar)


#2

You are supposed to make the assumption that you are validly married after you marry in the Church, so please be completely assured that assuming it is valid is the right thing to do. :) Even if you were to get a divorce, you would still presume the marriage was valid, unless you got a declaration from the Church otherwise.


#3

I would tell your future spouse your question as stated in your post. Watch her disappear quickly stage right. I have never heard of the right frame of mind as a cause for dispensation from marriage. Just grab the girl and kiss her. It will all end well. (Leaving grumbling under my breath)…


#4

You have some misconceptions about validity. Nothing you have written would create an “invalid” marriage.

When you speak your vows, your internal will is presumed to conform to the words you are saying. Your marriage then is valid.

Please stop with the doubting.


#5

I really think your overthinking the whole thing. It wouldn’t be good to start marriage with these doubts. Perhaps you should talk this through with your fiancée. She ought to know you have these doubts. Also discuss them with your parish priest. Are you going on a marriage preparation course? They should be able to explain everything to you.


#6

[quote="james_neville, post:1, topic:339680"]
Hi there, in Feb next year I am going to enter into the sacrament of marriage. I want to make sure that it is a valid one because I love her dearly.

As a part of the process, You need to convey proper intention (that marriage is a lifelong covenant which requires fidelity and an openness to having children). While I know that I would commit to both of these things, I can't help but still have some doubts, since you can never be sure of your future.

[/quote]

The whole point of marriage vows is that you make vows of permanence, fidelity, and openness to life while knowing that the future is uncertain. That's why the vows are for better OR worse, for richer OR poorer, in sickness AND in health. You don't know what the future holds. But you must know that your commitment to each other is firm. That's the fixed point.

You pledge fidelity no matter the future. And the binding vows give the couple security in the permanence of their commitment, which allows love to grow freely.


#7

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