I have not been on here in awhile. In fact, my faith life in general has slipped dramatically in the past year.
Back in 2004, I converted through the RCIA process. Since then, it has been hard to keep up with my faith. As a student, I have moved around a lot, never settling in one place long enough to become an official member of a parish. I am the only Catholic in my family, and have very few Catholic friends. I find it isolating to go to church and see everybody there with their family and friends when I am alone every Sunday, to not feel like I belong at all. It makes me not want to go.
In addition to those feelings, I have been having a hard time with my health this past year and this more than anything else has caused me to slip. I was diagnosed with diabetes back in September. I am only 24, and am not for sure that my doctor has the right answers. I have been to several doctors trying to nail down the type of diabetes I have and have been met with a lot of scorn and resistance. I also found out this past week that I might have Celiac disease or Irritable Bowel Syndrome. These problems have made me angry and bitter at times, and depressed at others. I often use the excuse of being too sick or exhausted to attend church, although I recognize in my mind it is just that- an excuse.
I haven’t been praying, reading my Bible, and have just let my overall relationship with God slip away. I went and talked to a priest today and picked up a devotional Bible. I’m hoping that his can help me make my way back to God. I can’t do it alone, and would appreciate any prayers.