God bless you and your wife and congrats on the newest baby! I am not a man, LOL, but am married to one, LOL again. He is the best father ever! And he grew up without a dad. From what I see this is what he does :
*** Spiritual Leader of Family** - My husband is a convert to the faith. We’ve had a long road. He does the family rosary with us, attends mass, of course, attends men’s nights and conferances (now takes our oldest son with him!), goes to our priest with concerns and questions, and most of all he backs me up! He doesn’t watch garbage on TV or listen to anything questionable on the radio. He also prays with me.
*** Husband** - We make the little things fun. Grocery shopping together with only one or two of the kids, running errands, we’ve even been known to get fast food and eat it in the car b/c we have a sitter at home (usually my parents or our oldest child) and a sleeping baby in the car. We have certain shows that we watch together and LOVE board games. I’m usually the one that falls asleep before we get “our” time Ecards are great too. Easy and free!
*** Spending individual time with each child **- Not possible, really. Not necessary, really. If there is one child that is needy at the moment, ok, but honestly it’s just not possible. Our kids are just fine. We do a ton of family stuff, make big deals out of birthdays (often taking the birthday child out to lunch or something alone) but really individual time is not realistic in a big family.
Paying college for children (those who want to go) - Not necessary. My husband used to want to limit our family size to three children all because of college tuition! That’s insane! We are not required to pay for their college. I paid for my college. We have chosen for me to stay at home wtih the kids and we homeschool. Beyond that we will likely not be in a position to help out financially. I just want them to get to heaven and so does he. College might take 5 years instead of four and mean a lot of hard work and loans. That’s OK. It builds charecter.
Retirement Planning - We have little retirement (just what’s in his 401k) but again we’re not worried about it. God will provide for our needs. And as a PP said - maybe our kids will too.
Caring for Elderly parents - My parents are still quite young but when the time comes we’ll work something out.
Employee (50+ hrs/week) - My husband does work 50 hours/week but he goes in really early while we’re all still sleeping, LOL. He’s home by 5:30 and we have a family dinner 99% of the time.
Eating right and getting enough sleep - I’m a food fanatic so only allow healthy stuff in the house. Poor husband He’s a type 1 diabetic and has epilepsy so he has to eat right. Sleep is what we both lack but we drink coffee (not good, I know).
**Auto Mechanic **- My husband is many things but not so much handy. We just pray for good deals and hire it out.
Plumber - see above.
Electrician - Ditto.
I hope it’s OK that I posted to your thread. I just think the world of you hard working fathers. Especially those that care enough to ask questions. Take a deep breath. Trust in God.