I had a distant relationship with my mother. She grew up in the minority of her siblings, being a girl. I think she had a very adversarial relationship with them, and when I, as a boy was growing up, I felt she was just projecting her dislike for her brothers on me. She was overly angry about small things. I had nuns in school who acted the same way. I never felt welcome at home I never had any affection from my mom. Even as a boy growing up, i couldn’t remember affections from my mom. She was a dictator mom.
From time to time I thought I experienced incestuous emotional advances from my mother, which pushed me away as you could imagine.
We were relatives who needed and depended on each other, at best.
So, I don’t have these brain circuits along which I have a natural affection for Mary. She gets generalized into the distant, controlling, often unfriendly women who were supposed to be modelling Mary to me. So, this is the first time I put it into words, right here, why do I need Mary?
A friend of mine was distracting me in a high school class, enough to draw the attention of the nun. I went to apologize after class and she just about bit my head off. Yeah, this is probably another post of mine that won’t measure up to community standards, for telling the truth.