Marital Chastity


#1

I know i put this in anothr forum, but maybe it would be better served here and people might be able to answer it who frequent this one more:
I am doing a TOTB class and we are getting to the part in Christopher West’s book, “Good News about Sex and Marriage,” where chastity in marriage is discussed. I ike to try to anticipate questions so I can be ready for anything a member might ask and something came to my mind that I am not sure I could answer and I found nothing in the book or in the forum that could tell me the church’s teaching so I will pose it here. I hope it is appropriate for posting and sorry if it isn’t due to age issues.
So we know that it is acceptable for a woman to experience orgasm before during or after male climax so long as its in the context of the act, but say the wife were to experience it before or during the male, is it still acceptable for the woman to experience it right afterwards (even though she experienced it before), or would the church say after is only allowed if not reached before that point? I hope this is an okay question to post here.
Thanks for the input!


#2

As far as I know the quantity is not limited, just the context. :wink:


#3

I concur. Just like I believe (but can’t quote an authoritative source) that the husband could experience multiple orgasms within the proper context and that would be okay. It’s also moral if the husband experiences orgasm but the wife never does (say, because she is unable or just didn’t that time).


#4

I think it is an interesting question that may not have such a clear answer.
If when you say right afterwards you mean she experiences as a natural result of the act then it seems like there would be no reason to question whether its ok (from what I have read). I really don’t know what the answer would be if you mean that they start from zero after the male climax. The reason I am not sure is because whenever I have read about how the husband should lovingly help his wife reach climax after he has climaxed, it has always been with the purpose of avoiding frigidity resulting from her not climaxing or something related to the fact that she did not reach climax (since ideally they should both reach it at the same time).
I don’t have my copy of “Love and Responsibility” by JPII here, but if you have one you might want to read one of the last chapters that touches this topic. I wish I had it here, I could explain what I am saying better.


#5

Short answer: yes, it’s OK. Why should multiple orgasm for a woman be a problem in the context of the marital act? I sure hope it’s not! :o

Are you married? These things have a way of writing their own SOPs. Context, context, context. Catholic teaching does not require these things to follow a military operations manual.

Oops. Perhaps in this context I should not have used the word “manual.” :wink:


#6

I figured that might be the case, but the writing from West’s book could be interpreted to mean that seeking a woman’s climax after the male’s was more for if the woman did not achieve it and desired to rather than if she already had and the husband wanted (with her desire) to seek that for her again. Yeah context seems to be the thing, as long as it was an act open to life, it seems morally licit to seek multiple ones and an act of love on the part of the husband to selflessly love his wife in an additional manner. Thanks for the help.


#7

I believe that somewhere on the AAA forum, somebody answered that it was licit for a woman to achieve orgasm even by manual stimulation if it had not been achieved during the “natural human act of intercourse.” I am the WORST at finding things on these forums but if you know how to do it, you could probably dredge it up.


#8

Yeah, I know that from West’s book, my question which I believed you answered was more in a situation that the woman had already achieved before or during with her husband, but could the husband stimulate his wife after as well as a loving act.


#9

Ah. It wasn’t quite clear from your first post. Let’s hope nobody asks!


#10

Sent you a PM mercygate.


#11

Lol, yeah
Maybe you could ask in the AAA section (DailyBread)


#12

Took your advice so we will see what happens, though others are free to comment if they have ever gotten an answer on this from a moral theologian or Theology of the Body speaker. Sorry if my question confused people. I just didn’t have an answer myself as it came to my mind and so I thought it was best to see what it is before i say something that might be wrong to the group (woe to me if I mislead others astray).


#13

I’ll apologize in advance, I’ve never read Mr. West’s book… nor have had the desire to read a book about what is “proper” about orgasms during marital relations…??? This thread sounds like a proof-read for an owner’s manual about sex…

Pardon the crudity and the blue collar analogies, but women (sexually) are like Diesel engines. Really hard to start (especially when cold), long to warm up, and hard to get to “purrrrr”. BUT… once settled in and at operating temperature look out - major power on tap.

Men are Top Fuel 1/4 mile dragsters. Tons of horsepower RIGHT NOW, but only last a few seconds (hopefully minutes). After that we need a teardown & rebuild for the next run.

Women have the physiology to experience nearly continual orgasm. One wave after another… if the man knows what to do, and is considerate enough to continue “stimulation” after he has achieved.

Sex (or more properly Marital Intercourse) is not “Man on Top Get it over with Quick”… it is when a man & woman become one, and totally “lose it” when this point of euphoria is achieved. Why is “score-keeping” necessary?!

It really disturbs me that a woman would have it in the forefront of her mind to be “categorizing” her orgasms into “Sin, or Not Sin”. (Talk about a fast track into sexual dysfunction and really messing with her husband’s mind and libido.)

“Lets see, it’s definitely OK during, on the fence before, and possibly a big NO-NO after… and since you can only have ONE at a time, I should feel guilty for having 2, 3…oh, and we should paint the room beige with white trim”

What is so terribly wrong (women) with just letting yourself “go”, and climbing the headboard if you have to?


#14

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: There’s an Evangelical pastor/family life guru – I think his name is Gary Smally (or Smalley) who says: Men are microwaves; women are crock pots.


#15

To avoid any confusion, I don’t think anyone on here thinks a woman can only reach climax once (and I know for sure the Church doesn’t say that.)


#16

Well either the AAA is still sitting on my question, or it did not make it in the vault ot be answered, but thanks again for help from everyone. Maybe I will ask a good moral theologian or Marriage Prep person.


#17

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