Marital Embrace--Question


#1

Okay, I've looked and looked and looked. Here, EWTN, many MANY books and phamlets and I can't find a definite answer. And they are certainly varied answers.

Is genital touching without climax allowed outside of the marital embrace? :confused:

Example: Is it alright for me to briefly touch my DH "down there" in the morning shower, but not actually have marital relations until that night? :o


#2

Well, I can't tell you if it's definitely "technically" OK, but my inclination would be to say that it's part of foreplay.

Just because it's happening many hours before the act itself doesn't mean it's not leading up to it. I think as long as it's not an "instead of" thing to bring satisfaction without being open to life, it's OK.


#3

Unless your touching is meant to bring him to climax without intercourse, there is nothing wrong with it. :slight_smile:


#4

[quote="StJudePray4Me, post:2, topic:200148"]
Well, I can't tell you if it's definitely "technically" OK, but my inclination would be to say that it's part of foreplay.

Just because it's happening many hours before the act itself doesn't mean it's not leading up to it. I think as long as it's not an "instead of" thing to bring satisfaction without being open to life, it's OK.

[/quote]

[quote="Reepicheep, post:3, topic:200148"]
Unless your touching is meant to bring him to climax without intercourse, there is nothing wrong with it. :)

[/quote]

See, this is what I've always thought myself, but some disagree saying it's the sin of masturbation. :shrug:


#5

[quote="prolifewife, post:4, topic:200148"]
See, this is what I've always thought myself, but some disagree saying it's the sin of masturbation. :shrug:

[/quote]

I think that's only if he was doing it himself....


#6

Personal behavior revelation... :o

My wife used to playfully grab my "machine" and give it a yank when I was getting dressed, or going to the shower, or...

I'd grab one of her, ummm, "jugs" and give it a squeeze for "retaliation"...

It's just husband-wife silliness... totally removed from sex foreplay...

Lord, I hope she never becomes computer-literate and sees this... http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v313/ponyguy/facepalmsmiley.gif


#7

Any world that doesn’t allow husband and wife to goose each other or give each other purple nurples in the privacy of their own home is certainly no world that I want to live in. I would say you’re doing just fine. :thumbsup:


#8

[quote="Reepicheep, post:3, topic:200148"]
Unless your touching is meant to bring him to climax without intercourse, there is nothing wrong with it. :)

[/quote]

On the money imo. The Church tells us not to frustrate the procreative nature of sex by either using means of artificial contraception or having a man climax through means other than natural relations with his wife. I think it's easy to assume then that a woman climaxing outside of relations with her husband would constitute abuse as well.

Aside from that, I'm pretty sure you're fine.


#9

I wonder why there isn't a clear answer on this. :confused: There's a clear answer on most other marital issues, but I have yet to find clarity on this. I just want to know for sure. I tend to be scrupulous. I thank you for your answers. :)


#10

[quote="prolifewife, post:9, topic:200148"]
I wonder why there isn't a clear answer on this. :confused: There's a clear answer on most other marital issues, but I have yet to find clarity on this. I just want to know for sure. I tend to be scrupulous. I thank you for your answers. :)

[/quote]

Did you ask your priest?

There is not a clear answer in the catechism for every situation. The Church no longer relies strictly moral theology "manuals," but seeks to inform the heart with the truth that motivates her "rules" in different areas.

All that said, I don't think you'd find what you posted to fit under the definition of "masturbation" in any moral theology manual, old or new. :shrug:


#11

Friend:

Everyone seems to be in agreement that you just love your hubby, and if there’s nothing essentially wrong in your marriage, like infidelity, or incessent masturbation, porn use or something of this sort, then it is normal to enjoy each other. God gave us this gift!

So…I am in agreement with everyone else here. It is a totally normal part of married life. So…just don’;t feel bad, get in the shower with him girl!:thumbsup:


#12

In all seriousness, there’s no reason to be overly scrupulous. You understand the full nature of sexuality and how it is not to be frustrated or abused. You’re not doing that in this case. Don’t go all Ron Conte here!


#13

[quote="Ponyguy, post:6, topic:200148"]
Personal behavior revelation... :o

My wife used to playfully grab my "machine" and give it a yank when I was getting dressed, or going to the shower, or...

I'd grab one of her, ummm, "jugs" and give it a squeeze for "retaliation"...

It's just husband-wife silliness... totally removed from sex foreplay...

Lord, I hope she never becomes computer-literate and sees this... http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v313/ponyguy/facepalmsmiley.gif

[/quote]

Hahahahahaaa...you sound like me and my husband everyday when the kids aren't around/looking...


#14

I hope I won't sound like a horrible Catholic for this, but...we are human beings. we are sexual beings. Innocent behavior like this should certainly be welcomed within the confines of a marriage and, in my opinion, a necessary behavior to keep my marriage fun! we should be able to touch, tickle, laugh, joke, etc. without having to worry about it being wrong. this IS your spouse, after all. when DH rubs my back or feet at night, I find it highly intimate, and don't feel at all the need to "do the deed". i shouldn't have to. we can be close and intimate and I don't view it as any sort of sin. twk:thumbsup:


#15

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