You know I grew up in a verbally/emotionally-abusive home plus I was that “kid that everyone picked on”. I didn’t have any friends until I got to college.
Some of my college friends had all these grandiose dreams about what their weddings would be like and dreamed of having lots of children.
At the time, I did not want any kids, because my childhood was so bad that I didn’t want to treat “my kids” like my mom treated me. Plus, I was (and still am) uncomfortable around children, and stepping onto a schoolground (which is very infrequent) still brings back negative emotions.
When I was told by my female doctor that when I want to get pregnant, that it will be difficult for me to conceive and will have to go thru extra fertility treatments and such–this was NOT “bad” news for me. When I was told this back in college, I was actually happy about it because this would be a ‘valid’ reason for not having kids (when getting into ‘discussions’ with my mom about it).
My views have changed–I’m 38 and have matured (a little). Personally, I still have no desire to have children–I’m not “chompin’ at the bid” to get married to have children. If it’s God’s plan for me to get married and have children–it will all happen “naturally”–I’m not going to use contraception or anything like that–but I’m not going to go through extraordinary measures to get pregnant either.
Since I’m still single with no marriage in sight, I’m not losing sleep over this topic–but it has crossed my mind from time to time and I understand your feelings of not wanting kids.
Enjoy your life as a teen/young adult. Stay on the straight and narrow. Stay strong in your Catholic faith and stay pure. God will bring the right person to you and you’ll have your answer about children at that time.