To all the married people out there. What is your advice to young people in regards to marriage?
I’d give you advice; however, it’s so bitter and depressing that it might permanently damage you
Pray that you may not undergo the test…
Here’s my advice, it’s the same advice my mother gave me (and several other young relatives of hers), but no one on here is going to like it.
Wait till you’re over 30 to get married.
I got engaged on my 30th birthday. Mom herself got engaged at 35. Her nephew who she also gave that advice to got married at some age over 30.
All of us had nice long happy drama-free marriages that lasted till death do us part.
Ask yourself, is this the person I’d want to wander the streets with if we lost everything?
What do you say to Catholics that say it’s better to marry early because traditionally that’s how Catholics did it in order to have bigger families
Sorry, I meant this is beautiful.
I think people should marry early.
The answer is NO
I think there should be a caveat: if they’re devout and have a full understanding of the catholic teaching on marriage and are willing to live that way. Most people aren’t. But if you both are, marry as early as possible.
I’m glad you think so! I was engaged to my college boyfriend and had a lot of financial concerns I came to realize weren’t financial at all. My husbad on the other hand randomly asked me when we were dating if I’d move to Montana with him. I kind of shrugged and said as long as I’m your wife. We ultimately didn’t move to Montana but there was such a massive difference in how I felt in those two scenarios.
Looks like you dodged a bullet there.
Quality of the match vs quantity of years together. You don’t know at what age that person will enter your life.
Or IF they ever will
This too. So another bit of marriage advice that is easier to give than to follow is not to pine for anyone. To live your life with joy doing fascinating things.
Really accept that the person you are marrying is the way they are. Do not think you will change them. So if you can’t live with something about them the way they are, don’t marry them.
Don’t marry, it is much easier to grow in virtue. You can also fully devote yourself to God. There are a lot of financial perks too, but that’s kind of shallow.
As someone who is young and unmarried: get good at dating. Actually go out and ask the opposite sex out and learn from each person you date. Learn about your wants. Then go after what you want. And pray about it. Too many Catholics complain about dating on here and they rarely go out and actually date…
Choose your spouse well. Marriage is a blessing. Be quick to listen, quick to forgive, and slow to speak in anger. Live out Paul’s advice in Ephesians 5 to the best of your ability.
“Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. 2And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God…Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
25Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.a 28In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30because we are members of his body. 31“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”
My mom’s entire family was about as traditionally Catholic as you can get without a prescription, and they believed that you got married to the person who was right for you and that you shouldn’t be in a big hurry about it and that God would send you the number of children you were supposed to have. All of my mom’s siblings got married, some ended up having large families and some didn’t because they or spouse had health issues. Mom and her two sisters had careers too although they all stopped working when they got married (I think my aunt went back to work later in life). I was not brought up with the idea that the Catholic Church expected you to have a whole bunch of kids. I frankly hear a lot more about that from the “trads” of today than I ever did growing up in an area where most of the families who had more than 2 kids were having difficulty paying the bills.