I feel as though my short marriage of 3 years has gone downhill and I want to seek advice and I was considering a priest but did not know how far they will go in advice giving, and I didn’t want it to be awkward. Have any of you guys talked to a priest about marriage problems? What was the outcome and how pleased were you with the advice?
Yes definitely speak with a priest that you feel comfortable with.Even though they are celibate they are a quite capable in assisting with troubled marriages.
Don’t hesitate. Go see your priest. Prayers go with you.
My prayer that you will find support and enlightenment with your priest’s advice.
It really isn’t unusual for the realities and routines challenge a marriage after the honeymoon period.
Some thoughts… ‘being in love’ is caused by a number of things including attraction, our dreams of the future, and our sometimes mistaken perception of what love really is. Thus we often hear, “I’ love you, but I’m not in love with you” as a reason to give up on a marriage. ‘Being in love’ could be called the dream. Daily working at genuine, at times challenging, genuine choices for love is what marriage need to survive and flourish.
The point where couples move past the initial attraction is where they can begin to build genuine, unselfish, mutual love that is made with conscious choice even when that choice is difficult.
My prayers for you and your husband that you can both renew and deepen your relationship.
Have you thought of going to a “Permanent” Deacon? The Deacon at church is wonderful and he is Married, with children and grandchildren. That could be an idea.
I tried a priest, but in my case, the problems I was having needed more attention.
I’ve found counseling more helpful, because a counselor has more time to address individual issues, giving this the time it deserves. A priest can help but probably won’t have that kind of time to devote to just one person.
I’d encourage you to go to a counselor sooner rather than later. Some seem to believe things have to be really bad before even considering counseling. The more prudent thing would probably be to go when problems are very small to get it all “nipped in the bud”.
Catholic Social Services even has their own counselors if you want one with more of a religious slant.
If you can go to marriage counseling, that’d be great. If your spouse won’t go, I’d encourage you to go, anyway, for support and answers, ideas, somebody to see this all more objectively.
There’s also Retrovaille.
retrouvaille.org/pages.php?page=6 It’s got listing in different languages. English is on there somewhere.
Good luck with whatever you decide! God bless!
It’s a good idea to talk a priest. Some therapists I don’t think see the value of Sacramental Marriage and think it’s just a choice or a phase of life. :shrug:
You do need to careful with that, but a priest is a great place to start. If he can’t help you for whatever reason, he can probably refer you.
Also, its important for everyone to keep in mind that priests are aware of all kinds of strange sins and awkward situations, so they are prepared to handle this professionally.
My husband was having some difficulties with being married that were causing us both stress. He went to our priest and spoke with him a couple times over a month or so. I have no idea what was said, exactly, but whatever it was helped my husband feel better. Once he was feeling better we were both able to relax and feel less stress. So, yes, it was very helpful.
Both priests and permanent deacons can be valuable resources for marriages that need help! Of course, as with all professions, there are some bad apples (and just plain nuts) out there, so choose wisely. If you find a priest or deacon who exudes common sense and obviously cares about his congregation, then by all means ask him for a meeting. And, as other posters have mentioned, if you need a little more help than he can give, whether due to time or experience constraints, he will probably know a solid counselor you can use.
Have you tried having a meaningful discussion with your husband first?