Hi Everyone—I’m hoping to get some advice with regards to my marriage.
I’ve been married a little over a year and my husband and I lived together for just over 4 months before he sent me to another state to live with my parents. We have been apart since (about 9 months). During this time, we’ve communicated with each other, but my husband has not asked me back home. I kept praying that things would get better (as my husband was dealing with some other issues at the time that I thought were part of the reason our marriage was not great).
Recently, I grew frustrated and went to my parish priest to ask for advice. Almost immediately, he told me that I should pursue divorce and then annulment. This shocked me, as I never believed in divorce and never considered initiating one. I told my husband what the priest said, and he said that he wanted to give it another try. He is in the process of switching jobs and moving, so it was agreed that we would start living together again once he got settled in his new job.
However, we still argue about many things. Things that I feel are important to me. My husband was born and raised Catholic, but now says that he does not have any beliefs. Additionally, he wants me to use artifical birth control to avoid having children. I disagree with artificial contraception and because he does not “have” any beliefs he thinks that it is not a problem to use it. He is also saying now that he does not ever want to have children. My heart is breaking, as I consider children a part of a marriage. Finally, because I will not use artificial birth control, he refuses to have sex with me and does not think there is anything wrong with that.
I keep praying that he will convert or that God’s Will may intervene and we will finally be able to live according to the Sacrament. I feel as though deep down he is a good person, but that he just has so much anger and so little beliefs that he can’t see what’s really important.
Am I being stupid in trying to save my marriage?? Should I really immediately pursue divorce and annulment?? Or should I give it another chance??