Marriage and Birth Control


Hi, I don’t know if this is quite the right forum, but I have a hypothetical question.

When a couple is preparing to get married, are they sort of required to agree to not use artificial birth control? Just curious. I don’t plan on getting engaged for a long time.


There’s nothing to sign or agree to before you get married in the RCC. But being a Catholic means you will not use any form or artificial birth control after marriage, and you will abstain from sex before marriage.


Using artificial birth control is a serious sin.

It frustrates God’s Plan for your lives.

Listen to Marriage and Morality, also in Other Talks, the Marriage Preparation talks on Sexuality may help you understand why not.


Oh, I should have clarified. I’m a Catholic, and would not use birth control. What if my future wife did not hold those beliefs? What would my responsibility be?


Sort of required to agree? Huh?

Contraception is a grave act. It’s a mortal sin if done willfully.

You are “required to agree” with all the teachings of the Church, it’s called religious assent.

I invite you to study the Church’s teaching on contraception,


Your responsibility would be to not marry a person who dissents from Church teaching or is not a practicing Catholic.

Such a topic should be on your list of disqualifications for a spouse. Do not put yourself in such a position as to be torn between your wife and your soul.


Actually, the church talks about the situation where one spouse practices contraception and the other is against it.

The document can be found here:


First of all, I commend you for thinking about this ahead of time. Many folks don’t and wind up with all kinds of struggles.

Being open to children is key in sacramental marriage. Contraception is totally against that; so one would have to question if one marries a woman who is not open to children, and one knew that going into the marriage, would one have a valid sacramental marriage? Perhaps the grace imparted in the sacrament wouldn’t be realized until after she repented and discontinued using birth control. In any case, it seems risky entering into a marriage under those circumstances.


This is for a person already married and with no choice in the situation. The OP is not yet married.

A person should not enter into a marriage *knowing *that one spouse intends to contracept.


Thanks for the replies, guys. If anyone else has anything feel free to add it.

Yeah, I was thinking that it would be dishonest to enter a sacrement like that when you knew that it wouldn’t, you know, be used as intended.

Luckily, my girlfriend now, if we stick together, is good people. She isn’t Catholic, but she respects me a whole lot, and cares about God, and I don’t think she would have a problem with it.


I would suggest a coversation about it, don’t assume anything. Don’t assume she would not want a tubal ligation after having kids. Don’t assume she would be open to NFP.




hi im on the estelle35 pill (its to help clear my face and doing a great job!) and i got my wedding in three days , easter monday :slight_smile: tho if we dnt use contractption il get pregnant (when married) had the 1st bub out wedlock but his sis or bro will be in wedlock.
and my DF had to leave his job due to asthma and wer gonna apply for sickness benfit etc.
im hoping to get pregnant next year sometime , jacob will be nearly three then, hubby should be working and i will have compeleted my dimplo in childbirth (tho the course is very family friendly so thats good).


Is this your opinion or does the Church teach this? If so, where?


We have agreed we want more children . DF wanted 7!!! i said 5, depending on how the pregnancys go and money etc, children arent cheap! im very pro life and am soo against abortion
babies are gifts from god. and getting pregnant is not the end of the world! being a mum is awesome :slight_smile: :thumbsup:

oh and DF is against abortion too.


i am cathloic but my fienca isnt… is it true if we divorced that the cathloic church doesnt recongize our marriage, does that mean i could re marry?? thats what mum told me… (my fienca isnt bapitzted but is deadcated in his church) they do adult baptisms

i beleive in only getting married once. as so does my lovely fienca


Encyclical On Mixed Marriages

Encyclical On Christian Marriage
Encyclical Casti Connubii

The Catechism

Canon Law


You need to talk to a priest, pronto.

You are not married yet and you are already asking “what if we divorce” questions! That implies you do not see marriage as indissoluable. That is a problem all it’s own.

In the case of a Catholic marrying a non-Catholic, validity is based in part on whether or not the Catholic followed the Canon Law guidelines of marriage. If you marry in the Catholic Church or outside the churh with a dispensation, then YES the Church would presume your marriage is valid. And, NO, you would not be free to divorce and remarry. There would need to be a Tribunal investigation regarding validity.

If your fiance is not baptized, your marriage would have the character of being a “good and natural” marriage. It would not be a Sacrament, although it would be valid if you follow the Church guidelines for marrying. If your fiance were to become baptized, your marriage would then become a Sacrament.

You need to go talk to your priest– not your mother. Your mother is not a good source of reliable information regarding the requirements of the Sacrament of Marriage.


was just asking because mum was talking about it one day. and no were not getting married in a catholic church as im marrying into a anti cathloic family :frowning: we are having a anglican service because the marriage celebrant (my old high school teacher ) who is doing our marriage is anglican… She told us that the because im baptized then she can marry us but if neither of us were then she wouldnt of been able to do it… She’s real pleased to be marrying us and i think its special as she was my fav teacher in school… in our wedding pics we are gonna be standing in a garden and theres a really cool cathloic church in the background :slight_smile: i got offended when his mum said oh just get the photographer to delete the church in the background. she took as a joke but i didnt. i said no i want it in the background it will look nice. the photos are gonna look cool :slight_smile:


I won’t even waste my breath anymore on this subject. This is completely ridiculous.

Anyway, what I will say is that you must still go talk to your Catholic priest and you & your fiance must still go through the Catholic preparation for marriage & YOU must still seek a dispensation to marry a non-Catholic and to marry outside the Catohlic form of marriage.

If you do not do these things, then your mother is correct-- your marriage is invalid and you cannot receive the Sacraments, until and unless you take steps to validate your marriage.

GO SEE YOUR PRIEST. I hope he can talk some sense into you.

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