Marriage and Menopause

I am a 49 year old woman who will be getting married for the first time. Is Catholic marriage ok and sexual relations when I go through menopause? I once had a priest tell me that older women should not get married because how can it possibly serve God? What do you think?

I think the priest is a (please insert your choice of derogatory adjectives) and I may not be able to hold back telling him so.

Let’s be charitable and insert a verb instead - ‘wrong’. :wink: (assuming ‘wrong’ is a verb, grammar is not my best subject. :frowning:

As Paul states, the priest is mistaken here. The fact that the likelyhood approaches nil is not an impediment to marriage. Just think Abraham and Sarah.

By the way - congratulations!!! You must be sooo happy. Fantastic for you!

I think wrong may be an adverb, I don’t really know. I’m sure it’s not a verb though.

But wrong he is. You can get married at your age. You would be serving God by helping each other grow in your faith, and probably a lot of other things too that you might not do alone. Just as anyone else, you must be open to conception. Whether or not you get pregnant is up to God. Sara and Abraham were a lot older than you are. Elizabeth was pretty old too. Leave it to God.


Yes, it is fine.

This is not Church teaching, this is his erroneous opinion.

Priests are human and therefore just as likely to say stupid things as the rest of us.

The CATHOLIC CHURCH permits such!

So yes…

and Marriage is a holy vocation…even when unable to have Children…

The priest has no clue what he is talking about. What he said is wrong.

You don’t have to be fertile or pre-menopause to serve God.

I think everybody should take a deep breath here. There is another way to interpret what is written about what the priest said. KKPG, did he tell you it would be morally wrong to get married at your age or did he recommend to you not to get married but remain in your current state for spiritual reasons. You have made it through 49 years of life without getting married. Paul in 1st Corinthians chapter 7 tells us that it is better for us spiritually to remain single and dedicate our entire life to God if we are called to do so. But he also recommends that if we are unable to live a single life without falling into sexual sin then it is better for us to get married lest we burn. The reason why he says that the single life is better is because we can then give our entire life to God. When you get married you cannot do this because you must first give of yourself to your spouse. So your heart is split. It doesn’t mean you cannot live a holy life as a married person, it just means that you cannot give 100% of yourself to God. I would recommend reading 1 Cor Ch 7. Paul does a whole lot better than me explaining his point.

I wasn’t there for the conversation you had with the priest and so I really do not know what he meant. But from what you wrote, he could have been referring to what Paul was referring to in Chapter 7.

Anyway, if you do want to get married you can. But since you have been living a single life for as long as you have been, I would really pray if this is what God is calling you to do. Especially if you have lived a chaste life during that time. There really isn’t that many people in the world that has that grace to resist lust, and I won’t lie I am not one of them, and as such these people are such a great treasure that God has given the world.

I am not trying to talk you into one thing or another. I am just recommending to put some prayer in it. Maybe go on a retreat if necessary.

God bless.

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