Marriage counseling?


#1

My wife of 18 yrs wants to follow through with divorce proceedings. I am under investigation at work and will most likely be dismissed from my job. There is even a possibility, though unlikely that I will have to go to prison. I have never been in legal trouble before in my life.

We have had other problems in the past. Three years ago I had an extra marital affair with a co-worker. She was also married and when my wife found out it was a big mess. This was the only time I have been unfaithful to my wife.

We went to counseling through Kaiser and we stayed together. Now my wife says she is tired of my dishonesty and she doesn’t want to wait for the next disappointment.

We filed for dissolution of our marriage because I wanted to protect our assets. I signed over the titles to our vehicles and we are refinancing the house in her name. We agreed to do this until a resolution to my situation is finalized. She told me when this is all over she wants to move on.

I am trying to find some resources for marriage counseling through the church. We were married in the church and our children are baptized and have been through catechism. I was a Baptist who converted to Catholicism. I went through adult RCIA 12 years ago.

I have been praying for God’s grace and for him to fill this hole in my heart. I am asking for him to help me to fix the problems I have inside of me. It is hard to be in the same house with my wife and act like polite strangers. I am respecting her wishes but I do not want a divorce. She is seeking counseling for co-dependency.

If anyone has some suggestions as to possible marriage counseling through the church, I would appreciate it. I want to get counseling for myself. The counseling with Kaiser was a great resource and I am trying to convince my wife to let me seek counseling with her there. I believe that I need some spiritual counseling and I want to find it through the church. I am recommitting myself to attending mass regularly, I am going to go to confession tonight. My wife did not want to attend mass last night but I went with the kids. I plan to ask the priest for his direction in this matter. Thank you


#2

I have to admit that I can understand where your wife is coming from, but I admire your wish to resolve things. I will keep all of you in my prayers.

As per the rest of your post: you could seek counseling on your own. You don’t need to wait for your wife to come on board.


#3

To help find Catholi-focused psychological professionals, a place to start is:
catholictherapists.com


#4

www.retrouvaille.org
This is a program for troubled marriages that works! It did for us, and many many other couples I know. Check it out.


#5

Just a quick update, I went to confession and the priest gave me some good advice. I am going to work on myself and try to demonstrate over a period of time my resolve. Hopefully, she will see my efforts and soften her stance. Really though I understand that I will have to stay honest with myself in all my affairs in life. I am going to focus on my spiritual life, I had pushed God and the church away for a long time while I was doing wrong.

I am looking forward to communion this Sunday.

I am not going to ask my wife about the retrouvaille until down the road a ways.

Thanks for the advice and prayers.


#6

RD, you have my prayers for strength to change and Gods grace to guide you. Your children and wife will also be in my prayers.

Bless you for going to the priest and listening to his advice.

I would also suggest praying the Rosary, our Blessed Mother and praying the Rosary got me through a difficult time my friend. It helps to keep you focused and there is a love you feel that waves over you that is difficult to describe. :slight_smile:


#7

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