Marriage Help


Hello everyone. I have been reading many topics on these forums for a while now, and I finally decided to sign up. I have a question that has been bothering me for some time now.

I'm Catholic. I was born and raised Catholic, but I was never as into it as I should have I guess the problem I have is partly my fault. I met this beautiful woman about four years ago and we started to date a year later. I knew exactly what I was getting myself into but I really didn't care.

She loves God more than anything. She is in constant prayer and is always reading the Bible and other Christian books. She attends church and Bible study on a weekly basis. She is an all around good person and I know for a fact that she would make an amazing wife and mother. I am finally ready to settle down and get married.

The only problem is that she is Protestant. I knew this from the very beginning. The first thing she told me when she met me was that she would pick God over anyone all the time, and that she would never let anyone come between her relationship with God. She isn't anti-Catholic. She has attended mass with me many times and never has anything negative to say. She does talk about why she doesn't agree with some stuff that is in the RCC, but I do the same with some of her beliefs.

We do believe in a lot of the same things such as abortion is a sin, marriage is between one man and one woman, drunkenness is a sin...I could go on and on. The problem is she believes in Sola Scriptura and I believe in the Bible and everything else the RCC teaches.

She would not want to get married in a Catholic Church. She told me this from the beginning. She said that would mean she would have to promise to raise our kids Catholic and she doesn't think she would be able to do that. She loves her church and believes that what she believes in is the complete truth.

Now I feel like a hypocrite if I say I have to get married in the Church when all these years I wouldn't mind when she said the things she said. So I need help. I know it feels like I am picking and choosing, and I guess I am - that is why I am asking for advice.

I love this woman. My family loves this woman. She loves God more than she loves me.. sometimes it seems like she is more Christian than me and my whole family put together. So what should I do? Tell her I want to get married in the Church and raise my kids Catholic and have it ultimately not work out? :confused:


Go talk to your priest. You don't have to be physically married in the Catholic Church but you do have to promise to do your best to raise your children Catholic. She does not but, there should be reasonable evidence that she will not undermine your efforts to do so.
You do have to be the spiritual leader of your family , which is of course scriptural. How is that going to work out do you think as you are unevenly yoked? You two have a lot to talk about.


(a) As a Catholic you are bound by Catholic law on marriage. This means the two of you would have to go through Catholic marriage preparation. You need permission from your Bishop for a mixed marriage. And, you as a Catholic must promise to raise your children Catholic. You can receive a dispensation from Cathoilc form to have the* wedding ceremony* in her church-- but that does not change the obligation to go through the marriage preparation process or the obligation you have to promise to raise your children Catholic.

(b) Think twice about marrying someone who is intent on teaching your children false ideas.

(c) Learn from her example that God comes first. And, yes, this might mean going your separate ways.


The question is, do YOU wanna raise your children Catholic? How important is your Catholic faith to you?

You can get a dispensation to marry in another church, and it will even be a sacramental marriage if you both are baptised which I assume.
Its true that when you get the dispensation you have to sign that your spouse will not hinder the children being brought up Catholic…
Many people sign this but don’t mean it, and their marriage is not invalid for that reason (although I don’t advocate this as a very moral solution)…
But I think its clear that YOU have to figure out how much your faith means to you, and whether you want your children to be Catholic.

Your girl friend sounds really like a beautiful person. I hope you will become the better Christian, so much so that she will want what you have. Could that be possible?
Are you on fire with Jesus and love Him? That’s the only way for a Catholic to get an Evangelical Christian to wanna look into Catholicism, FYI :slight_smile:


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit