After going to college at a very liberal school, I fell away from the Catholic faith and ended up meeting and marrying my husband, a fundamental Christian. We were married in the Catholic church at the request of my parents 3 years ago this August.
Shortly before we were married, I realized the my husband-to-be had a drinking problem - not necessarily addiction, but he just really likes to drink excessively. I was afraid to call off the wedding because it was only a month in advance (invites were out, everything was set, etc). I thought we could work it out.
Since then, I’ve had times where I thought it was better, only to find empty beer bottles put back in the fridge (so I’d think there were still some left) and liquor bottles stashed in various places. I’d confront him, he’d say he was unhappy, we’d cry, he’d say he’d be better, and I trusted him… only to have the cycle repeat itself over and over.
About a year and a half ago, I discovered that not only was he drinking heavily, he was also looking at porn on the internet, and talking through various social networking sites with women, telling them how unhappy he was and how sorry he was to be married to me. I confronted him about this, and again was told how unhappy he is and that basically it was my fault that he felt he needed to look at porn. He said he’d stop, we were going to work things out, etc.
In a similar manner to the alcohol (and along with the alcohol issues), we’ve been in a cycle every since - I find it, confront him, he promises he’ll stop, etc. He’s promised he’ll talk with someone about this, but it’s never happened.
The reason I’m posting in the Catholic forums is because lately, I’ve felt such a strong pull back to the Church. He won’t allow me to go, and insists that I’m just doing this to push him away. I found the porn and more empty beer bottles this past week, and I’m not sure I have it in me to give him another chance. He’s begging me to give him another chance, crying, telling me how much he loves me and needs me, but I feel like it’s just the start of another cycle.
Thoughts? Opinions? Advice?
I realize that I am probably throwing myself under the bus, so to speak, posting on this forum with the decisions that I’ve made. But I’m confused, and want any advice I can get.