I am looking for some help. I am a Southeast Asian man who has grown up a Buddhist with my family. I recent got engaged and my girlfriend is from a Roman Catholic family. We have been able to respectfully “deal” with the difference in our religions, traditions, and heritage for the couple of years we have been dating. Now that we’re engaged, her family is almost essentially throwing out ultimatums that we have to do the wedding in a Catholic church and that I should do what it takes to make that happen. It all seems to be regardless of my own faith and preference at this point, at least what I can surmise from the tone and language used (“grandpa will not go if it’s not in a Catholic church,” "grandpa didn’t talk to his sister for 50 years because she didn’t get married in a church.’)
To be clear, I have absolutely no problems compromising and getting married in a church. My family loves my fiance and understands that we have different faiths and different upbringings and that if church is what will make her happy, they will be there to support us. What I’m not willing to compromise on is my faith, just as I would not want her to change or compromise her beliefs. In my opinion, if my family, or I, are not asking her to convert or do anything against her faith for a Buddhist or Southeast Asian traditional wedding, I don’t see how it’s fair that I would be asked to do so.
From what I understand, in order to make this happen, most times the non-Catholic takes cannon classes, or even converts. This is understandably a relatively simpler task if you’re going from a different sect of Christianity.
Basically, I’m asking to see what anyone else’s experience with this has been and what our other options are. I just want her to have her dream wedding and to make her happy for the rest of our lives. However, for this one day in our lives, I am not willing to compromise who I am and what I believe, just as I would not ask her to do the same.